A New World
by Lord Thibault
Summary: This follows on immediately after the last chapter of my story  Feelings Acknowledged.  It is an AU development of events following the battle at the Guild.  It continues to concentrate on Sonea/Akkarin relationship  Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan.**

Aftermath

Rothen tip-toed into the room and nodded to the Healer sitting quietly in the corner.

"Any change?" he asked and frowned when the Healer shook her head.

Sonea was lying, unmoving, in the bed, just as she had done for the past three weeks. The only time she moved, was when the Healer on duty, sat her up and spooned nourishment into her mouth. Sonea's mouth opened at the touch of the spoon and she swallowed when her mouth was full, but that was the extent of it. After feeding, she was placed back on her pillows and left alone to sleep.

Rothen sat in the chair by the bed and took her unresponsive hand. He remembered how they had found her, half lying, half-crouching, on the ground, clutching Akkarin's lifeless body, surrounded by the dead bodies of the Sachakans. It had taken a real effort to get her to let go of Akkarin, her hands were so tightly gripping him, but through it all, her eyes remained closed and there was no response when they called her name.

They had taken her to the Healers' Quarters and the best minds left in the Guild had tried to find some way of waking her up, but with no success. Lady Vinara had determined that Sonea had no physical injuries. Her power was severely depleted, but apart from that, there was no reason why she should not wake up. Over the next few days, the Healers tried everything they knew, but nothing worked. In the end, they had allowed her to go back to Rothen's spare room, where a Healer watched over her day and night.

Rothen sighed. No one knew how long she would remain in this state. Some magicians were of the opinion that she would stay like this until she died, others thought she might wake at any moment. The King had come to see her, a few days after the battle at the Guild and had laid a jewel on the bed in recognition of her service to Guild and Kingdom.

The King had also gone to see Akkarin, as he lay in state, dressed once again in the High Lord's silken robes. Immediately after Akkarin's death, the King had issued a decree which stated that the trial and conviction of the High Lord and his Novice, together with their exile had been a ploy to lull their enemies into thinking the Guild was defenceless. In fact both of them had been following the King's plan to destroy their enemies.

_I wonder how many people believe that!_ Rothen thought. Still, it probably made the King feel better.

It had been reported that the King had spent a long time alone with the body of Akkarin and his eyes were red when he emerged. _And so they should be_, Rothen was still angry. _The King sent a man and a young woman into an exile which he thought would end in their deaths because he was too proud to listen to the truth or trust the word of an honourable man._

_But I was just the same_, Rothen admitted to himself. _I believed Akkarin was evil and had corrupted an innocent young girl._

Akkarin had had a grand funeral a week after his death. A special area of the old cemetery had been opened up and a grave dug in a prominent spot. Dressed in his High Lord's robes, the King's jewel about his neck, Akkarin had been laid in a fine, oak coffin which was then placed in the grave and covered with a marble gravestone carved with his name and titles. Underneath, an inscription telling of his bravery and sacrifice had been carved, so that no one would forget the debt they owed to the High Lord.

_There has been talk of statues and other monuments throughout Kyralia and the Allied Lands_, thought Rothen, _as if that would take away the nasty taste left by Akkarin's treatment by the Guild and by the King._

He sighed again. The Guild was an unhappy place these days. So many magicians dead, so many buildings in the city destroyed; so much work to do with few resources. After Akkarin's funeral, the Guild had elected Balkan High Lord and one of the first decisions he had made was to open membership of the Guild to anyone with magic, regardless of whether they were from the Houses or the slums.

This had caused uproar in the Guild as a majority of magicians were still opposed to the thought of allowing anyone with talent to join. It had taken all of Balkan's skill to get a vote in favour. Even now, magicians were testing ordinary citizens to identify those with potential.

Rothen's musings were disturbed by a sound from the figure on the bed. Both he and the Healer leaned over to see what might have caused it. Sonea's head moved from side to side, and the sound came again, a low groan or moan. The Healer placed her hand on Sonea's forehead and gazed into space for a few minutes.

"I think she might be waking up," she muttered. "Come on, dear, open your eyes!"

Sonea's head moved again and then her eyelids fluttered open. She stared at the Healer and then at Rothen.

"Rothen, wh…where am I?" she whispered. "I feel so strange."

"It's all right Sonea," the Healer said soothingly. "You have been ill."

Sonea's eyes closed again for a few minutes then suddenly flew open.

"Akkarin?" she said. "Where's Akkarin?"

Rothen and the Healer looked at each other for a few seconds, then the Healer shrugged, "It's better she knows," she said.

Rothen took both of Sonea's hands in his, cleared his throat and looked into her eyes.

"Akkarin is dead, Sonea. He was killed by one of the Ichanis in front of the University, don't you remember?" He could feel tears in his eyes as he saw the expression on Sonea's face.

"No! No!" she said. "He can't be dead. We have made plans. We have so much to do…"

Her voice trailed away. "I do not believe it."

Vinara, who had been alerted by the Healer, appeared in the room and, sweeping the others aside, took one of Sonea's hands and concentrated. She felt her forehead, looked into her eyes and sat back, satisfied.

"You are in reasonable health, Sonea, for someone who has been asleep for such a long time. Your power, which was very low when you were brought in, is back to full strength and seems to be still increasing. What you need is some nourishing food and perhaps a little wine to help you feel better."

Vinara gave instructions to the Healer who vanished only to return a few minutes later with a tray of food and a glass of wine. Sonea was helped into a chair and encouraged to swallow the food and sip the wine. She obediently did as she was asked.

Since hearing of Akkarin's death, Sonea's face had grown paler than ever and showed no expression. No tears had fallen, she seemed almost as still as she had been before she woke up.

Rothen took Vinara aside. "She is not behaving as I thought she would," he said worriedly. "She has not cried, it is almost as if she is willing Akkarin to not be dead and has told herself it is not true."

Vinara nodded. "This could be a very worrying sign. I have seen cases like this before and it can lead to mental breakdown. We must try our best to see this does not happen to Sonea."

Rothen could only agree. _But that is only the first of our worries_, he thought. _What of Sonea's future position in the Guild? How is that going to be resolved?_


	2. Alone

**Disclaimer – I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan.**

Alone

Sonea sat on the grass and stared at the stone. "Akkarin of family Delvon, House Velan, High Lord of the Magicians' Guild", it read. She ran her fingers over the carving, tracing the words while her mind said _Akkarin, my lover_, _my High Lord_. She still could not believe that Akkarin was dead. _I promised we would live together or die together_, she thought, _I have broken my promise and you are alone there under that cold marble and I am alone here_.

Soon, she knew, someone would come looking for her. They didn't like her spending time in the cemetery. They had tried to stop her at first, but she had insisted, coming at night, when everyone was asleep. In the end they had given in, but only allowed her a few minutes each day to mourn. The rest of the time, she stayed in Rothen's spare room, seeing few people, not wanting to go out and about in the Guild.

She had done it once, soon after she had recovered. Rothen had taken her to the food hall. Everyone stopped and stared as she walked through the buildings. She could hear the whispering as she passed, felt the curious gazes from everyone. She had refused to go out again.

Instead, people came to her. The King had come and spent time talking to her about the battle and the changes he was going to make now that he was convinced all the people of Kyralia had something to offer, not just the Houses. Dannyl and Dorrien had come simply to see her and cheer her up and she had been too kind hearted to tell them to go away.

A few days ago, High Lord Balkan had come to explain what her position in the Guild was to be.

"We have decided to create a new discipline, that of black magic. It will only be open to a carefully selected group of magicians, people who are absolutely trustworthy and can be relied upon not to use these extra powers for their own personal ends. You are our only Black Magician for the moment and although you are very young, we have decided that you will be the Head of the new discipline. The Guild records will show that you have graduated a full magician and you will have rank and title. You will be known as Black Magician Sonea, the robes you will wear will be black silk, as will your sash of rank. As you see, I am wearing white robes and this, in future, will be the High Lord's colour."

Balkan stopped speaking and waited for her reaction. He couldn't help sounding like someone giving a lecture. When she said nothing, he continued, "I have your new robes here and they may be familiar to you. As a mark of respect to our late High Lord, we have given you his robes to wear. They have been altered to fit you."

Still Sonea did not reply so Balkan was forced to carry on. "We have some of Akkarin's personal belongings which were left in the Residence. His family have taken what they wanted as keepsakes, and asked that the rest be given to you. I will leave the box for you to look through."

Balkan had taken his leave, with relief, she thought. She looked at the silken robes he had left. She picked them up and buried her face in them. A faint trace of Akkarin's scent still remained, so she inhaled deeply and pictures of their time together in Sachaka flashed into her mind – Akkarin staring, Akkarin smiling, Akkarin kissing her.

_Stop! Stop! I can't bear it! _

She put on the robes and gazed at herself in the mirror. She was all black and white – black hair, black eyes, black robes and white skin. Somehow, it suited her mood. She turned to the box and opened it. Inside she found a few books and other odds and ends such as pens, seals and a piece of parchment with writing on it in Akkarin's copperplate hand. At the bottom of the box she found a smaller box with a magic lock.

It was a pretty box made of an unusual type of wood she hadn't seen before. The top was decorated with inlaid gold and jewels in a pattern of moons and stars. She turned it over and over in her hands, searching with her mind for the key to open it. After a few minutes, she smiled as the box clicked open. Inside, on a bed of black velvet, she found a heavy gold chain and a signet ring. It showed the arms of House Velan and had probably been given to Akkarin when he came of age.

She sat holding it for some time, turning around in her hand, trying it on various fingers. She felt a pang of guilt that she should have it. _I suppose they couldn't open the box and thought it just contained a few coins or something_, she thought. _Perhaps they thought no one could open it._

She thought back to the moment when she and Akkarin had talked about the future. "_When this is over, we shall marry_…." He'd said. He had gone on to talk about going far away and living a quiet life far away from Kyralia. She looked at the ring again. _This is my wedding ring,_ she thought. _I shall never marry another. I am married in my heart to Akkarin_.

She took the ring, threaded the gold chain through it and slipped it over her head. It hung, cold against her breasts. One day, she would put the ring on her marriage finger, but not just yet. She didn't want anyone to know exactly how she felt about Akkarin. It was her secret.

Sitting by his grave, Sonea held a silent conversation with him, telling him her news, explaining about her robes and that she wore his ring close to her heart. Her fingers caressed the carving over and over again. It was strange, but here was the only place where she didn't feel so alone. It was almost as if Akkarin were here with her, just the two of them, as it was meant to be.

"Oh, there you are, dear," one of the Healers came over to her. "You mustn't get a chill, sitting on that damp grass, it's not good for you."

Sonea got to her feet with a sigh. Her time was over for today. _Goodbye, Akkarin_, she thought. _I will come and talk to you tomorrow_.


	3. An Unwelcome Proposal

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan

An Unwelcome Proposal

Dorrien smoothed his hair back. It had been a breezy walk across the gardens to the Magicians Quarters, and he wanted to look his best. He made his way briskly to Sonea's new suite of rooms. She had finally moved out of Rothen's spare room a few days ago into the rooms set aside for the new Head of the Black Magicians. Dorrien winced, _Not a_ _very nice title_, he thought. He could not imagine that a young girl, for that was how he always thought of Sonea, would like to be called officially a Black Magician. The phrase still left a nasty taste in his mouth.

He knocked on her door and waited for the servant to let him in. He knew Sonea was in, because he had taken care to time his arrival, so she couldn't avoid him. He had tried to see her on several occasions, loitering casually in various places around the Guild, but had somehow failed to catch more than a distant glimpse of her. If he didn't know better, he would have thought that she was positively avoiding him.

"I wish to see Lady Sonea," he informed the servant, Khara, and followed her into the sitting room. He found it difficult to use her official title of Black Magician Sonea.

Khara indicated he should wait and disappeared through a door in search of her mistress. Dorrien looked around, the room was much bigger than Rothen's, as befitted a head of discipline. It was richly furnished, although the colours were sombre, being mainly dark wood and dull shades for the carpets and curtains. There were few decorative pieces on show, the prettiest being a small, jewelled box, which sat on the sideboard. A beam of light had caught the top of the box, which sparkled and drew his attention. He picked it up to examine it. He was still looking closely at the design of moons and stars, when a voice sounded behind him.

"Good morning, Dorrien." A hand reached over and took the box from his, and replaced it on the sideboard.

Dorrien looked carefully at Sonea, noting the black robes and pale face. She had smiled only briefly as she indicated a chair and sat down in another. Although Rothen had assured him that she was fully recovered from her ordeal, Dorrien didn't agree.

Gone was the friendly, cheerful girl he had known and in her place was this quiet, grave person, who seemed older than her years, who rarely smiled and seemed quite remote from day-to-day life.

They exchanged a few pleasantries and Sonea asked Khara to bring tea and cakes. Silence fell again and Dorrien quickly mentally reviewed the little speech he had come to make.

"I shall have to be going back home soon," he began. "I would like to have stayed to help the Guild make the changes it needs to, but my village cannot be without a Healer for much longer."

Sonea nodded politely, but he got the impression that she was not really that interested in the goings on in his village. Perhaps she was remembering her last visit there. _And that_ _would not be a particularly good memory_, he thought. He pressed on.

"How are you settling in here? It must be difficult for you to be on your own. This is a most depressing apartment."

"I have Khara, she is exactly what I need." Sonea said stiffly. "There is a lot to do, sorting out exactly what is involved in black magic and choosing the magicians who are to form part of my new discipline. I am engaged in a search of all the books in the Guild to see if there are any more ancient texts which can help us understand this old form of magic more clearly."

Dorrien wasn't listening. _Now is the time_, he thought.

"Sonea, we have always liked each other and we have a lot in common. Rothen is very fond of you, he regards you as a daughter, in fact. Before all this nonsense about black magic arose, you were inclining towards becoming a Healer, weren't you? You are a young woman, with your whole life ahead of you and it would be a crime to waste it here in this…" he looked around at the sombre room, "…..dark and unwelcoming room. I have the solution to your problems. Marry me, Sonea and come away with me."

Dorrien looked at Sonea, as he came to the end of his prepared speech. He silently congratulated himself on putting Sonea's situation so clearly. She would see the advantages. She would agree. He waited, confident that she would see sense.

A range of emotions flashed quickly across Sonea's face and Dorrien was surprised to see the one that remained longest was one of anger. However, Sonea's voice was calm as she responded.

"Thank you, Dorrien, for your proposal. It came as a bit of a surprise, but thank you anyway. As you say, I was thinking very much of becoming a Healer and working in a village, helping local people would have been a good choice. However, black magic intervened and changed my life whether I liked it or not. I have been given a job to do by the Guild and I have to do it. There is no one else….now…so I have to refuse your offer of marriage."

Dorrien was rather taken aback. He had woken up this morning, confident that he provided exactly what Sonea needed to cheer herself up. To hear her say now that she intended to shut herself away in the Guild, dealing with formerly forbidden magic didn't make much sense to him. Dorrien had always been a down-to-earth person, dreaming was not for him, so he couldn't really understand her position at all.

He thought for a moment and then tried again. "Sonea, you haven't given yourself time to think over my offer. I know recently you had a crush on Akkarin and a brief affair, but he has gone now. You are here and you can't spend the rest of your life thinking about him."

This time, the anger stayed on Sonea's face. "I have already said I will not marry you. You know nothing about me, about my feelings for Akkarin or his for me. I think it best if you leave now. Have a safe journey back to your village." With that, Sonea stood up and glanced pointedly towards the door.

Dorrien still could not believe that his offer had been refused, but a look at Sonea's expression told him that now was not a good time to pursue it. _I'll give it a few months_, he thought, _she'll soon be missing me, cooped up here, and when I come back again, she will accept me._


	4. Discovery

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan**

**This is a long chapter and quite difficult to write. Please let me know if I got it right or where it could be improved.**

Discovery

As the door closed behind Dorrian, Sonea found her hands shaking. She had suddenly been filled with a great urge to slap him, hard, and only held herself back with a great effort. _How dare he! How dare he tell me I only had a crush on Akkarin! How dare he think that a few weeks after his death, I could even begin to think of marrying someone else!_

Sonea sat down quickly and covered her face with her hands. She didn't know just how long she could go on, trying to cope with people's well meaning conversations and advice to "…..try to forget about it….put it behind you….think about the future…" She wanted to do none of those things. She wanted to remember everything about him, she was so afraid that the memory of his face would fade, she spent time each day visualising and memorising every feature. She wanted to talk endlessly about Akkarin, about what they did and where they went. About the way he looked at her when he thought she wasn't watching. About the way he held her and comforted her. About his concern and care for her. About the way he sacrificed himself to protect her. But no one wanted to talk about **him**. Everyone skirted around the issue, trying not to mention things which would cause her pain, little knowing she had a great need to feel pain in order to prove she was still alive.

_I haven't been able to cry for Akkarin_, she thought. _Not in all the long days since his death. Not when I sit by his grave, nor when I lie sleepless at night, longing for his arms around me again. If only I could cry, perhaps I would feel better._

She had tried to set routines in her life, places to be at certain times, people to visit about certain things, hoping that would help her concentrate on the work she had to do. That had helped a little, but she still found images of Akkarin popped into her mind all the time, or her memory would replay events over and over. If she shut her eyes, his face was there. When she picked up a black magic book, she would hear his voice. The worst times of all, though, were the long nights. She would lie, tossing and turning in the bed, unable to sleep. Then she would see his face and hear his voice and it would almost be real.

She closed her eyes for a moment, memory calling up scenes from the past, replaying conversations she had with Akkarin. She remembered the day when he had taught her about the special place created for lovers and had taken her there. She remembered him telling her that the place would always exist, but only living people could visit. _So,_ she thought, _everything will be there, except for the one thing above all I want to be there.._

Suddenly she was filled with an urgent desire to see the rooms again, to walk in the garden and remember what it was like when Akkarin had been there. Night was falling outside and she was in no mood for food or company. She sent Khara away until morning and went to her bedroom, closed the door and set a magical lock. She lay down on the bed, closed her eyes and sent her mind searching.

She soon found herself in the main room again. This time, she took the trouble to look carefully at its contents, the comfortable furniture, the tall bookcases filled with an entire library of books about magic. She admired the rich carpet and colourful curtains and noticed the paintings on the walls and the ornaments on the chests and sideboard. The table was set, as if for a meal, with a variety of plates and dishes, as well as several bottles of wine and two large glasses. _I hadn't noticed that before_, she thought, _how strange. I wonder if not having a meal this evening has made me create an alternative._

She could hear the fountain playing in the distance and turned towards the doors, which led into the garden. Outside, evening shadows were falling across the lawns and flowerbeds and she could hear the night calls of birds. As she stepped out on to the gravel path which led to the fountain, she saw a shadow move on the grass and looked up. Seated on the marble bench next to the fountain was a tall, dark-haired man who looked at her and smiled.

"Good evening, Sonea," he said, "I have been waiting for you."

Sonea stopped dead, the colour draining from her face, her mouth open in shock. She could feel her heart hammering in her chest; it was difficult to breathe.

"What….?" she couldn't go on.

The man rose, walked slowly towards her and stopped a foot or so away. Sonea's eyes were fixed on his face, "You said only the living could come here," her voice sounded weak and uncertain.

"I am not dead, Sonea," Akkarin said quietly.

"There was a body and a funeral. They told me all about it. I have seen your grave." Sonea whispered.

"All of that is true, but I am not dead. I could not be here otherwise," He smiled gently. "Do you remember, after you killed the Ichanis, you tried to help me? You sent your mind inward but could find nothing but darkness, and then you saw a tiny, flickering spark in all that blackness? That was all that was left of me and the remains of my power. It was fading fast, but you would not give up and followed that spark to capture it. You surrounded it with the last of your power and preserved it. You have kept it within you all the time since then, protecting it and preventing it from dying out. You kept me alive."

Sonea could not understand what was happening. Part of her thought perhaps she had fallen asleep and was dreaming; another part told her she had finally gone mad. She looked at the man standing so close to her; at his familiar face, with the intently staring dark eyes, the long dark hair, unbound and falling around his face, and her heart leapt into her throat.

"You can touch me, Sonea," Akkarin said sadly.

Her heart broke to hear the utter sadness in his voice and she flung herself into his arms and felt again the warmth of his body and the steady beating of his heart. Now the tears she had been unable to shed poured from her eyes, as she kissed him again and again. It was if her body had awakened from a long sleep as she clung to Akkarin, feeling the familiar pricking of desire. She still didn't completely understand how Akkarin came to be alive in their special place, but the man she held in her arms was a warm, breathing being with a solid physical form, not an insubstantial dream.

Akkarin gently smoothed the hair back from her face and smiled into her eyes.

"It is a lot to take in," he said. "Come, have some wine and we will talk."

They sat down at the table and regarded the food spread out. "I can eat and drink here?" Sonea's puzzlement grew. "This feels like a real place and the wine tastes like real wine, so can we do everything here we could do in the other place?"

Akkarin laughed, "I think so - we must certainly experiment! I have been here ever since the battle. At first, I couldn't understand how or why, but after a while, it began to make more sense. Since then, I have eaten, slept, read books and drunk wine. I am conscious of the passage of time, there is night and day here just as in the real world. I have created new things and changed things which were here already. I have not yet found many limitations to what I can do here, except I cannot leave these rooms and garden. I also have a connection with you at all times, just like a maker has through a blood gem."

_So he can hear my thoughts and conversations_, Sonea felt the blush stain her cheeks as she remembered the conversation with Dorrien she had had earlier and her own thoughts on the subject.

"Yes, your young swain was rather silly in the way he tried to win your heart." Akkarin smiled wickedly. "I expect he will be back to try again." His voice grew serious, "I try not to listen to your thoughts, but it is difficult to shut them out. I am sorry that you are burdened with so much grief."

"Can you use mental communication to talk to me?" she asked. When he nodded, she said angrily, "Why haven't you said something, all these weeks? If you could hear me when I sat by your grave, why didn't you answer me?"

"I wanted to! I wanted to tell you I was here, waiting, but that would not have been fair on you. I am not dead, nor am I fully alive, Sonea. I exist only here, now. It would be no life for a beautiful young woman, spending time in a half-world when she has her whole life in front of her."

Sonea felt her anger grow, as she listened to Akkarin's explanations. "So, let me make sure I understand what you are saying! You are privy to my thoughts so what I think and feel are open to you. You have watched me grieve for weeks. You have heard me talk to you each day in the cemetery. You could have replied to me! You could have told me to come here as soon as I woke up but you decided I should not! You did not give **me** a choice; **you **decided what was best for me! I am the woman you say you love and yet you would sit back and let me spend the rest of my life mourning you, blaming myself because you were dead." Sonea hid her face in her hands and burst into tears.

There was silence, then she felt hands pulling her out of the chair, and arms enclosing her.

"I am such a fool sometimes, Sonea," he whispered. "I believed I was thinking only of you, trying to protect you when all the while I could have made things better for you, so easily. Can you forgive me?"

Sonea's anger faded as quickly as it had arisen. She did understand what he had tried to do, she just didn't agree with it. "Now I know what has happened, we can make plans for the future. We are good at making plans, you and I." She smiled mischievously, "We had a plan once, after the battle for Imardin was over, we were going to marry and move far away from Kyralia. Let us follow that plan, this place is far from Kyralia, after all."

She went on, "We need no official ceremony to tell the world we are married; we can have our own ceremony here." She pulled the chain from around her neck and put the signet ring into his hand. "See I have a ring already." She thought for a moment, "Can I bring things here, apart from what I am wearing? I need a marriage ring for you."

Akkarin shook his head, "You can't bring other things with you, but you can create objects here."

Sonea concentrated and slowly a piece of gold appeared in the air before her. She focussed on it as it gradually melted and spun into a circle, making a plain gold band.

She dropped it into her hand and gazed at it for a moment, as she did so, the High Lord's incal appeared on it.

Her voice was husky as she looked at him, "I take you, Akkarin of family Delvon, House Velan for my husband. I will love no other, for the rest of my life." She took the newly created ring and placed it on his marriage finger.

Akkarin repeated the same vow and put his signet ring on her marriage finger.

They stared solemnly at each other for a moment, before exchanging the traditional marriage kiss. Sonea wound her arms around his neck and kissed the corners of his mouth.

"I do not know what the future will hold, or how we will live the rest of our lives in these strange circumstances, but I love you very much, Akkarin, and I do not believe I could ever be happier than I am at this moment."


	5. A Different Future

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan**

A Different Future

Vinara looked at her patient very carefully. She could see that something had changed as Sonea looked much better than she had for some time. She had a little more colour in her cheeks and appeared to be more rested. She still spent nearly all of her free time in her rooms, but had recently started to visit the food hall more regularly, the Healer was pleased to note. _That's exactly what she needs, more contact with people_.

Vinara placed her hand on Sonea's brow and concentrated. Sending her mind inwards, she searched for any obvious signs of illness. She could sense Sonea's power, and was surprised to find it still increasing. _She has to be the strongest magician in the Guild by far_, the Healer thought, _and there is no end in sight to the steady growth in her power. I must report this to the High Lord._

The Healer had almost finished her examination when she noticed a something. W_hat's this? _Vinara concentrated harder and then stopped in surprise. _A child, Sonea is pregnant. She has given no indication of it, I wonder if she knows? _Vinara continued her examination, trying to assess how long Sonea might have been pregnant. _More than three months_, she thought, _it must have happened_ _before she returned to the Guild_.

Vinara opened her eyes and smiled at Sonea, "I am very pleased with your progress. There is no sign of your ordeal now so I can report that you are in good health. There is one thing, though, that I should mention." Vinara paused, not knowing quite how to introduce the subject. "Have you been feeling a little queasy recently?"

Sonea looked surprised, "Yes, how did you know? Since I have been eating in the food hall, I have found some days that I feel sick. I suppose I am too used to Khara's cooking now, she's an excellent cook."

"I don't think you can blame the food hall, Sonea. You are expecting a baby, that is why you are feeling sick." Vinara watched her reaction carefully and saw a range of emotions pass across her face.

"A baby? Are you sure?" Sonea stared at the Healer. "When will it be born?"

"In about five and half month's time," Vinara replied. "From what I can see, the child is healthy, so you should have no problems. Sonea, who is the father?"

Sonea's face became expressionless, "Why do you need to know that?"

"If it is Akkarin's child, you must tell his House. The child will have to be noted on the House records. If it is not his child that too, must be made known. The Guild keeps detailed records of the children born to magicians so they can be tested for magical potential at a very early age." Vinara hoped that this factual explanation would not upset Sonea as much as an emotional discussion of her love life might have done.

_I hope she does not ask any more questions about these rules_, thought Vinara. _I do not want to be the one to have to tell her._

Sonea paused for a moment, her face remaining empty of all expression, then she looked directly at Vinara, "I do not wish to discuss the father of my child, nor do I wish you to say any more about it to anyone until I am ready for the news to be made known."

_She covers herself in authority as if she were born to it_" Vinara was surprised. _Where did a slum child learn such poise? _

"Of course not, Sonea, but you will have to tell someone at some point, because your pregnancy will soon become noticeable. The robes have hidden it for the moment, but time will soon prevent that."

Sonea nodded and rose to her feet. "Thank you Lady Vinara," she said formally. "I will take up no more of your time."

The Healer watched her leave, closing the door behind her. _It must be Akkarin's child_, she thought. _Sonea appeared infatuated with him, especially at the Hearing, when she insisted on going into exile with him. It may also explain the grief she has displayed since his death – all that sitting by his grave - such an unnecessary spectacle ! _Vinara did not approve of public displays of emotion.

Vinara sighed. When the news of Sonea's child got out, there was bound to be trouble. For a start, there was the work she was doing with black magic to consider. How could she be expected to continue that while pregnant or with a newborn? There was no one else to do it; that had been made perfectly clear when she and Akkarin had been exiled. None of the magicians could develop the skills needed without Sonea's active guidance and support.

As if that were not enough, the news that Akkarin was the father would cause even more trouble – trouble with his House and trouble within the Guild. There were still Guild magicians, including many of the Higher Magicians, who were still distrustful of Akkarin, despite what he had done to save them. They did not like to be reminded of what he had become involved in or the means by which he had defended Imardin.

They did not approve of Sonea either, regarding her more of a necessity to be put up with, rather than a colleague. Once an intimate relationship between a guardian and a novice was confirmed by the existence of a child, more suspicion and dislike would be directed towards her. At the moment, that such a relationship had existed was suspected, but the child would be proof. There would be no doubt. Many would see Sonea as a slum child who had seduced the noble High Lord, confirming their belief that dwells lacked proper morals.

As for family Delvon, House Velan, they would be furious at their son's choice of mother for their grandchild. They had a reputation for pride and had already suffered when the news that their son had been a slave for several years became widely known. Their feelings had been mollified when the King had issued his decree and the honours heaped on their son had been received by them gladly. A half-dwell grandchild would not be a source of pride for them.

Vinara sighed again. _I have to admit I wish Sonea had not come back to the Guild_, she thought. _Because of her, we now have other slum dwellers lining up to be tested. The Guild will be over-run with them because so many of our magicians died in the battle. The Guild will change forever and there's nothing that can be done to stop it._


	6. A Time for Reflection

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters: they belong to Trudi Canavan**

A Time for Reflection

Sonea hurried back to her rooms. The news she had just heard from Vinara had really surprised her. _Pregnant! I never considered that_. She had thought of many futures, in her musings about her life, but becoming a mother had not been one of them. _I suppose things happened so quickly and Akkarin and I were forced by events to take our opportunities when and where we could. We never discussed children. I suppose it is true to say we thought only of each other._

She flung open the door of her apartment, surprising Khara who was dusting the sitting room, and asked for some tea. By the time she had hung up her cloak and changed into comfortable shoes, the tea was steaming gently in a cup on the side table.

"You can finish tomorrow, Khara," Sonea said. "Go home now, I'll be able to manage for the rest of the day."

Khara made a token protest, but she knew arguing with Sonea was a losing battle. She had been sent home early on quite a few occasions in the last couple of weeks and wondered briefly why her mistress needed so much time alone. She shrugged. _It is none of my_ _business what these magicians get up to_, she thought. _Lady Sonea is one of the better ones, I think, but she still has her strange moments._

Sonea breathed a sigh of relief as the door closed behind her servant. She liked Khara, a kind, motherly woman, but she sometimes had a tendency to fuss, which Sonea found difficult. She needed time alone, without the distraction of another person in the apartment, even if they were in a different room.

She settled back in the chair and made sure the door was locked with a tricky magical lock which no one else could undo. She breathed slowly and deeply and sent her mind on its now familiar journey to what she called "Akkarin's apartment".

He was waiting for her, a look of excitement on his face. _Of course, he heard Vinara_, Sonea thought. "There is nothing I can surprise you with now," she smiled, going into his arms and laying her head on his chest.

He picked her up and carried her over to the banquette and laid her down carefully, settling himself on the floor beside her, and keeping hold of her hand. She gazed at him, liking the way he left his hair loose most of the time now, so that it softened the planes of his face and made him look younger. He was dressed in black trousers, made from a fine expensive cloth and a white lawn shirt, some of its buttons undone so that she could catch glimpses of his bare chest as he moved.

"Are you pleased, Sonea?" he looked a little anxious as he asked the question. "It must have been quite a shock."

She grinned, "Well, I have to confess, I was not expecting Vinara to come up with that diagnoses!" She paused for a moment, searching for the right words. "I am pleased, but a little frightened as well. I don't know how people will react when they find out. I think a lot of them will be angry. And I miss you…there. I shall have to deal with it all on my own and I wish so very much that you could be with me."

Akkarin silently kissed her hand, _I wish with all my heart that I could be there with you_ _too_, he sent.

"Vinara told me I must tell your family about the child and the Guild will have to have all the details. I am not sure I want your family to know but our child should be recognised as a member of your House. It is its birthright."

Akkarin got up and walked over to the table. He came back with a cup of tea for Sonea and a glass of wine for himself. He sat on the banquette next to her and looked at her intently.

"There is something you need to know about my family and what they can do. It won't surprise you to know that for hundreds of years, the sons of noble Houses have frequently had children outside marriage, the mothers being servants or market girls, for example. Sometimes, for Houses with perhaps only one or two sons, these children have often been the only grandchildren available to become heirs. To prevent the mothers' families having a claim on these children, a law was passed two hundred years ago, which says that the Houses have a right to these children, if they want them, and can take them away from their mothers to raise them as nobles, the only obligation the Houses have is to pay the mother a sum of money. The children are told nothing about their maternal family, only about the House they join. Over time, they forget they ever had a mother." Akkarin took her hand in both of his, "I am sorry, Sonea."

She was silent. Strangely, she had sensed Vinara had not told her the complete truth about what telling Akkarin's family might mean. Now she knew. _How typical of the_ _Houses_, she thought, _take the child, and cast away the lowborn mother, regardless of how much she might love her baby._

"Do you have a brother, Akkarin? Nephews and nieces? I know nothing about your family at all."

"I have an older brother, Vettin. He has been married twice, his first wife died after only a year and he married his second wife about fifteen years ago. He has no children, nor is likely to have any. The fault apparently is his, because his second wife was a widow with a small child when they married. He adopted the boy when he married the widow, but unfortunately, the child drowned whilst on holiday a few years later. I have a younger sister, Alkaria. She has shown no interest in getting married, despite mother's best efforts. I suspect she has no liking for men. So, I was my family's last hope for an heir. Mother spent the last seven years of my life pushing women in my direction, trying to make me marry one of them."

Akkarin lapsed into silence, and Sonea tried to think through the implications of what he had told her. It would be almost certain that House Velan would try to take her child. They had no other grandchildren and were unlikely to get any unless Alkaria overcame her dislike of men long enough to climb into the marriage bed.

"Do the same rules apply if the noble and the dwell were married?" she asked.

"No, if the parents are married, no one can take the children. But, we are not married in the eyes of the world, Sonea. My promise was verbal. If I had written down my promise to marry you, that would count in your favour, but I didn't. I could write one now, but you cannot take it away from here. We have no witnesses to the promise either. So, as far as my family are concerned, you are about to have a child outside marriage and they need an heir."

"What if the child is a girl? Surely it is only boys the Houses want."

"They would prefer a boy, but a girl can be married off and produce an heir that way, so even if your child is a girl, my family might still want her."

"I have told Vinara not to mention the child until I tell her she can. That will give me a little time to think of some way to get out of this situation." Sonea frowned. "I really could do without this worry on top of everything else."

Akkarin took the teacup out of her hand and pulled her to her feet. "I think you need a little time for reflection and relaxation." He smiled and drew her with him as he moved towards the door to his chamber. He opened the door and pointed towards the bed. "Just climb in and warm it up for me, I will join you in a moment."

As Sonea slipped, naked beneath the covers, she thought again just how strange this existence was. When she was in Akkarin's apartment, everything was solid and real. She could have been in any room in Imardin. There was nothing dream-like or insubstantial about anything or anyone in this world. Akkarin had been right, they were able to do almost everything here that they could do in the other place.

The mattress dipped slightly as Akkarin slid in to the bed beside her and took her in his arms. "We must be careful, because of the baby," he said. "Just relax and let me do this."

She felt his hands gently stroke her body and she closed her eyes and gave herself up to the delicious sensations which flowed through her. She felt herself relax and her thoughts slow down and become calm. _I have a man who loves me, who was prepared to give up his existence to preserve mine and I am going to have his child, _she thought drowsily. _What more could I ask for really?_


	7. Friendly Advice

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan**

**Friendly Advice.**

Rothen waited outside the door for the servant to let him in. It was early evening and he had been invited to visit Sonea for refreshments. Khara opened the door and showed him into the guest room. Rothen glanced round, it was a large room and the furniture and fittings were very expensive and well made, but he didn't really like it very much. _It is a room more suited to an old man, than a young woman,_ he thought. Even the curtains were partly drawn so that the light from the setting sun was restricted and subdued. The whole impression was one of dullness.

A door opened and closed somewhere in the apartment, and Sonea came into the room, a smile on her face as she saw Rothen. He looked at her carefully. _I know she's the Black Magician, but did they have to give her robes which entirely enclose her in black stuff?_

He was pleased to see that she did, indeed, look much better; less tired and drawn. It had been several weeks now since she had started to recover from the aftermath of the battle, but it was a slow process.

"It's so nice to see you, Rothen," Sonea came over and kissed him on the cheek. "I'm sorry it's been so long, but I found several really old books hidden away in the library and they take a lot of concentration to read and understand. I'm on the last one now, so I'm trying to catch up with all the other things I need to do."

They sat down and while Khara served the refreshments, they chatted about the latest gossip for a few minutes. Sonea seemed very well informed about what was going on in the Guild for someone who spent a lot of time cooped up in her rooms.

One of the main topics of conversation in the Night Room for the last few weeks had been the disappearance of Lorlen. The Administrator had not been seen since the day of the battle, when he was last sighted attacking the invaders from one of the buildings near the main gates. His body had not been amongst those recovered after the fighting. All the magicians, whose bodies had disintegrated on death had been accounted for, so it seemed probable that Lorlen was still alive, somewhere.

As the conversation ground to a halt while they ate some of Khara's pastries, Rothen studied Sonea. There was something different about her, but he couldn't quite work it out. She seemed more at ease with herself than previously and he was pleased to see her tuck into the pastries with a good appetite.

"You know Dorrien came to see me just before he left?"

"Yes, he told me what happened. I am sorry if he was a little rash, he's very fond of you, and hoped you would be in favour of his proposal."

Sonea sighed, "I'm afraid I was a bit rough on him, but he didn't seem to understand that I do not want to marry him. I hope he understands now. I shall never marry your son, Rothen. I hope, if he mentions it to you in the future, you will convince him not to ask me again. " She looked down at her hands for a moment and Rothen caught sight of a ring he hadn't noticed her wear before.

She looked up and saw the direction of his glance. She held out her hand so that he could see the gold ring on her marriage finger. There was an incal engraved on it, but he couldn't see clearly what it was.

"It is Akkarin's ring," Sonea said. "While we were hiding in the city, just before the battle, Akkarin and I agreed to marry after the fighting was over. I regard myself bound by that promise. That is why I will never marry anyone else, including Dorrien."

Rothen looked at her with concern, "I am sure that Akkarin was fond of you and you of him, you were thrown together in difficult circumstances so it's only natural, but that mustn't mean you spend the rest of your life mourning his death. You are very young, Sonea, barely twenty. You cannot live the rest of your life in this gloomy room brooding over Akkarin and what might have been."

Sonea laughed without humour, "Why is it that everyone presumes to tell me what I feel about Akkarin. They all do, you know! It's just like being treated as a small child who is patted on the head and told "….there, there, it's all right….." all the time. I am so tired of it." She twisted the ring on her finger, "I have decided to wear the ring on my finger, rather than on a chain round my neck, so that people will finally know what we meant to each other and what we intended to do. Perhaps that will shut them up!"

Sonea got up suddenly and began pacing round the room. As she walked, the black silken robes swished about her and Rothen was struck by the similarity of the sound to that made by Akkarin when he used to stride around the Guild. _Even the robes she wears must_ _remind her of him_, he thought sadly. Sonea stopped by the sideboard and began playing with one of the ornaments. She turned it over and over in her hand, frowning down at it for some time. Then she seemed to come to a decision and returned to her chair.

"Rothen, I know I can trust you. We have been friends for years and I regard you as family. I am going to tell you something, but you must promise not to tell anyone else. I asked you here because I wanted your advice – I think you will give me proper advice, not just something you believe I want to hear."

Rothen leaned over and took her hand, "Yes, of course you can trust me. I've only ever wanted what was best for you."

"I've already told you part of it, that Akkarin and I were going to marry. We didn't intend to return to the Guild afterwards. We were going to remain exiles and go far away from Kyralia – not sure where – just somewhere far away. Well, that didn't happen. Now, I am stuck here in the Guild, unable to leave Imardin without permission from everyone from the King downwards. Everything I do is surrounded by rules and restrictions, I am nothing more than a prisoner." She stopped talking for a moment, then sighed heavily.

"Well, that's as may be. It's not really what I intended to say. Akkarin and I love each other very much, we have loved each other for a long time and I am going to have his child." Sonea stopped and looked straight at Rothen. "I can see you are shocked."

"Sonea, my dear, how difficult for you." Rothen was shocked, but had tried not to let it show. He'd had no idea things had gone so far. "When will the child be born?"

"Vinara said about five months or so. She's been sworn to secrecy too, but as she said, people will find out soon enough. I need your advice about what to do concerning Akkarin's family. The child should be acknowledged by them officially, but I am worried they might try to take it away from me."

"I don't know the family very well, but they do have a reputation for pride. Lady Alechia in particular can be very difficult; she has a great sense of what is due to her. It was rumoured that she and Akkarin had some terrible arguments about the women she tried to match him with."

Sonea frowned, "I have been trying to think of how I could prevent the family taking the child. If I go to see them, before news of the baby gets out, and explain about the promises Akkarin and I made to each other, they would understand it was only the struggle with the Ichanis at first, and then his death, which prevented the marriage taking place. I would like them to agree that we were as good as married from the moment we exchanged promises. That way, it would not be quite so easy for them to take our child once they find out about it. Do you think that would work?"

Rothen thought for a moment, " It depends on how much they want the child. If they are not interested, then I don't suppose they would care whether you have it or not, whether you keep it or not, or whether you think you were "married" or not. But,…but if they see the child as a potential heir, then nothing you say will persuade them you were as good as married to their son."

Sonea looked at him earnestly, "I must keep this child, Rothen. It is all I have of Akkarin here." Her eyes filled with tears, "I miss him so much. No one in the Guild has any idea of what he is like, underneath that cold and remote air he wears. He is the most caring, loving person I know."

Rothen was disturbed to hear Sonea talking about Akkarin as if he were still alive, He had noticed she had done so earlier, but had thought perhaps it was a slip of the tongue. He hoped it was a temporary thing and that she would soon learn to accept his death.

"I understand, Sonea, it must be very difficult without the father of your child to share things with you. But you are not without friends here and we will do everything we can to support you," he said gently. "My advice about House Velan is to see them before it is known you are expecting Akkarin's child, and try to persuade them to accept the idea of marriage. That is all you can do. What they decide to do afterwards, we will find out soon enough."


	8. Family Delvon, House Velan

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan**

Family Delvon, House Velan

Sonea sat uncomfortably on the solitary chair placed near the centre of the room. Opposite her, a small distance away, was a semi-circle of other chairs. Five pairs of eyes regarded her coolly, no expression on the faces of the people opposite. These were the members of family Delvon, House Velan, brought together to meet Black Magician Sonea. These were Akkarin's nearest blood relatives.

"Thank you for seeing me today," Sonea said, glancing at all five of them in turn. "I really wanted to meet you all and to thank you for the box of High Lord Akkarin's possessions you kindly sent to the Guild, which was passed on to me."

"We had examined the contents, there was nothing we wanted." Lord Lukon's voice was as cool as his expression. "It was not necessary for you to come in person, Lady Sonea. We know of your important work at the Guild and you could have sent a message, rather than waste valuable time here, we would have been happy with that."

_This is really hard work_, Sonea thought. _Do these people ever smile_? For the first time since their minds had been joined, Sonea caught a sense of Akkarin's presence. He seemed rather amused.

"Yes, that's true, Lord Lukon, but I did want to meet you and perhaps tell you a little of what happened during the time High Lord Akkarin and I were exiled. It must have been very difficult for you all, not knowing of the King's plans." _I must remember to follow the official line that our exile was part of the King's strategy,_ she thought.

Akkarin's mother made a small dismissive movement, "We have had the honour of meeting the King who explained everything." She smiled frostily, "I am sure there is nothing more you can tell us, Lady Sonea."

Again, Sonea detected amusement from Akkarin. _I did warn you not to go_, his mental voice sounded softly in her head.

She looked at Lady Alechia. She was a tall, elegant woman in her mid-fifties, with dark glossy hair, just beginning to go grey. In her youth, she had probably been a beauty. Sonea could trace Akkarin's features in her face, the large, dark eyes, the straight nose and the chiselled lips. However, she had none of her son's charm and her face remained largely expressionless.

Her husband was older, his hair almost totally grey. It was hard to discover anything of Akkarin in his face, but he shared his wife's emotionless facial expressions. He stared at Sonea as if hoping she would simply disappear. _Well, he doesn't know me if he_ _thinks that's likely!_ she thought crossly.

The three other people in the room had said nothing at all since she had arrived. The man was obviously Lord Vettin, the elder brother, and the tiny blonde woman, with the pale blue eyes, next to him, was probably the widow he'd married. That left the youngest person present, Lady Alkaria, Akkarin's sister, and almost his double. She had the same colouring and features, and many of the same mannerisms. She was tall and slim, but unlike her brother, her dark hair was cut short, but that was the only difference between them.

Sonea smiled at them again. "I am sure the King was able to tell you about the events and actions which took place, but I was thinking that you would like to hear more of the personal exploits of your son and his bravery in the face of a terrible and determined enemy."

"My son was always a fool." Lady Alechia stared directly at Sonea. "If you think he was some sort of warrior/adventurer fighting a heroic battle, then you are as foolish as he."

Sonea's mouth opened in shock, and then quickly closed again. "High Lord Akkarin fought a long and lonely battle for years to protect Kyralia. In the final battle, he made a great personal sacrifice to ensure the enemy were defeated. In all the years I have known him, he was never foolish. In fact, as events later showed, he was very wise!"

A look of cold amusement passed across Alechia's face. "No doubt you are very young, Lady Sonea and the young often mistake foolishness for romantic heroism. My son was the High Lord, the youngest and the strongest there had ever been, he had absolute power in the Guild, the King listened to his every word, beautiful and wealthy women from the Houses would have killed to become his wife, and what does he do? He dabbles in forbidden magic to satisfy some wild curiosity, and ends up throwing away everything, including his life. Do not tell me that my son was wise."

Sonea stared back at the family, stuck for words. How could anyone get through that terrible barrier of unshakeable certainty and pride? How could she get them to understand about Akkarin's promise to marry her? _After all that is my main purpose for being here, not to exchange pleasantries or form a long-standing friendship_.

"Well, I am surprised, Lady Alechia, that you are not interested in the personal things which affected High Lord Akkarin during his recent struggles. I would have thought any mother, even one who thought her son a fool, might want to know about his hopes and fears. After all, he was your child. You must have loved him."

"My son knew his duty, not only to the Guild and the Kingdom, but also to his House. He chose to throw that away." Lord Lukon's voice was like a winter snowstorm. "Whether or not we loved our son is not relevant. How do you think it feels to know that he spent many years as a common slave, whipped and kicked from morning to night, doing his master's bidding?" Suddenly, his voice was full of emotion, "He could not even keep **that** secret, he had to tell the whole world the greatest shame that has ever befallen family Delvon, House Velan!"

Sonea was stunned. Whatever she had expected, it was not this. She knew the family's proud reputation, but she expected that deep down they would have had the normal feelings families have for their sons and brothers. But there seemed to be nothing here, no love, no feeling, no interest in finding out more.

_Now you know what it was like_, Akkarin whispered in her mind. _What it has always been like._

_Well I shall shock them out of their pride and stupidity, _Sonea sent.

"I see. There was one other reason, apart from common courtesy, for wanting to meet you. As you know, I was High Lord Akkarin's Novice for some years and lived in the Residence, where he instructed me in magic and warrior skills. You know what happened next, we were sent alone into Sachaka, with a secret mission to carry out. All of these things meant we were alone together constantly. During that time, we formed a deep attachment to each other. Before the battle at Imardin, Akkarin and I agreed to marry and he gave me this ring as a token of that promise."

Sonea held out her hand so that they could see the ring with their House's incal on her marriage finger_. A small lie, but a necessary one_, she thought, guiltily.

"Only his death prevented the marriage from taking place. I am here today to ask that you record Akkarin's promise and my acceptance of his proposal of marriage in your House records."

There was a sharp intake of breath from Alechia at her words and deep colour flooded her cheeks. "A slum dweller? My son promised to marry a dwell! I do not believe you. Not even Akkarin would have been so stupid as to promise marriage to a person like you! I don't know what you think you will achieve by telling such lies, unless you expect to obtain money from us. Is that it? You want us to pay you to stop saying such ridiculous things?"

Lord Lukon briefly touched his wife's arm in an effort to calm her. "My dear Lady Sonea," he began patronisingly, "I am sure you developed some sort of girlish feelings for the High Lord under the circumstances, however, it is extremely unlikely that he would have returned them. My son did not like women…..or men," he added quickly. "He was too wrapped up in his magic and his Guild to take any notice of more worldly matters. It is beyond belief that he would have promised marriage to any woman, let alone a commoner. I suggest you go back to the Guild and say no more about these matters… unless you have proof." He smiled, coldly at her, "Perhaps my son wrote down his promise?"

"No, Lord Lukon, Akkarin did not write his promise down, we were too busy defending Imardin at the time to consider matters of etiquette! However, he did give me this ring, surely that shows his intentions." The coldness of Sonea's voice matched his.

For the first time, Lord Vettin joined in, "You may have stolen it, for all we know." He looked at his mother for approval and she rewarded him with a smile.

_I admit defeat_, Sonea thought hopelessly. _There's no reasoning with these people_. She rose to her feet and looked carefully at each one of them before saying, "Over the years, I have grown to know High Lord Akkarin very well indeed, and I find it very difficult to believe that he has any connection with this family at all."

As she turned to leave, four pairs of eyes continued to regard her with indifference, but the fifth, those of Lady Alkaria, showed a hint of warmth and the corners of her mouth curled up in a faint smile.

_Perhaps I have made an impression on one of them_, Sonea thought_, although I wouldn't like to bet my life on it._


	9. Alkaria

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan**

Alkaria

Alkaria hurried back to her room and closed the door. She needed time to herself to think. _So that is the famous Sonea, the girl from the slums who has caused so much controversy? _Alkaria had been surprised at her poise when she had followed the servant into the guest room and found she was expected to sit, facing the family, more like a criminal on trial than a guest. As she sat down, the black silk of her robes fell in graceful folds to the floor, so that she looked like a statue in black marble, with only her pale face and hands relieving the darkness.

Alkaria had felt an immediate attraction to her so it had been difficult to keep her face expressionless, as required by the family. Sonea had a charming speaking voice, too, with no hint of the common speech of the slums. _I suppose the Guild taught her that, and how to conduct herself in company, _she thought.Before she arrived, Lady Alechia and Vettin had spent a spiteful few minutes discussing how dreadful it was to think the Guild had been forced to take in a dwell just because she had a little magic. They had sniggered over Sonea's origins and said how badly she would probably behave and how easy it would be to make her uncomfortable.

But it hadn't happened that way. Sonea had remained calm and friendly, despite the best efforts of her parents to disconcert her. She had made her points firmly, yet without appearing over-confident and Alkaria remembered how proudly she had shown Akkarin's ring, when describing their plans to marry. And then, the total contempt in her eyes as she turned to leave, realising just how hostile the family were both to her and to Akkarin, reducing the proud family Delvon, House Velan to something to be despised.

Alkaria laughed to herself. How she longed to make plain her own dislike of the family, but she had never quite dared. Her defiance, apart from a refusal to marry, was confined to little things, which took place when she was away from them. She had never been able to stop her mother's flow of criticisms or her cruel remarks and had learned in time to ignore them.

She thought about Akkarin and what Sonea had revealed about him. Alkaria didn't really know him very well; he was almost ten years older and had left for the Guild when she was quite young. Afterwards, she saw him infrequently, when he came home for special occasions or when the family went to the Guild for particular events. Then he had gone away for years and years, with no word so that they had thought him dead. Once he had become High Lord, he visited even less frequently than before. What she knew of him had been gleaned from listening to her parents, and they didn't seem to care for him very much at all.

For the first time, Alkaria had heard of a different Akkarin, a man who had fought for what he believed in, who had fallen in love with a woman and who had died to protect her and save the city. Alkaria had a romantic streak and she liked this new picture of her brother and wanted to know more.

She went over to her mirror. _They always said we looked alike_, she thought. She looked at herself closely, trying to see the resemblance, but she wasn't that familiar with her brother's features, so she couldn't really tell. _Sonea would be able to tell me_, she thought. _Perhaps I will go to see her_.

But Alkaria knew she wanted to see Sonea again, not to ask about family resemblances, but because she wanted to see **her**. She wanted to spend time with her, watching her, listening to her and getting to know her better. She also wanted Sonea to like her.

_It is a terrible thing_, she thought, _this overwhelming attraction to women_. _Men can become lads, and be accepted, as long as they don't parade their inclinations publicly, but women do not have the same freedom. Women like me have to hide away in corners, fumbling in the dark, fearful of discovery. _

She remembered the first time she had discovered her true inclinations, she was just fifteen and her mother had launched her into Imardin society with a view to attracting marriage proposals. Alkaria had found the endless round of parties and balls extremely boring and the young men decidedly uninteresting. One evening, after coming home late from a particularly dull party, Alkaria was in a very bad mood, Her servant, Jenna, had undressed her as usual, but instead of giving her the sleeping garments immediately, began to stroke Alkaria's neck and shoulders. One thing led to another and before long, they were both on the bed and Alkaria discovered a whole new interest.

Their relationship lasted for several weeks before her mother dismissed Jenna. Alkaria never found out why, as her mother refused to discuss the matter, and she was too afraid to argue. Since then, Alkaria had had other relationships with women, but it was not easy in Imardin to keep things a secret, so she had to be very careful.

But Sonea was different. _For one thing, she is a powerful magician_, Alkaria was unsure what that might mean for personal relationships, _for another, she was in love with my brother and mourns him. No real hope there for my kind of love. Perhaps I can offer her friendship, encourage her to talk about Akkarin and she will see me as a friend._

Alkaria felt happier now that she had definitely decided to see Sonea again. She took out some writing paper and a pen and composed a short, but friendly note, suggesting that she might call on Sonea at the Guild for a chat.

_We may start as friends, but who is to say things won't change, over time_, she thought. _Perhaps my resemblance to Akkarin might come in handy, after all._


	10. Uncertainty

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan**

Uncertainty

Sonea was still shaking as the carriage entered the grounds of the Guild. That had been one of the most unpleasant half hours she had ever spent, and that was saying something. Although not expecting to be welcomed like a long lost relative, she had thought perhaps the family Delvon would have behaved like a normal family who had recently lost a son. Instead she had met a wall of absolute indifference.

Sonea had not expected them to like her, but it was the way they talked about Akkarin which had most distressed her. _How could they think like _that? she thought. _How could they talk about him in that terrible way?_

She had received no further thoughts from Akkarin and could no longer sense his presence. She wondered if he had fully appreciated just what his parents had thought of him. She was sorry that their circumstances meant that he could not avoid hearing it now.

Leaving the carriage, she hurried towards her apartment, hoping not to encounter anyone on the way. She was in no mood for social chitchat. She wanted to go to Akkarin and find out for herself how he was.

"Sonea?" She heard someone call behind her. _Oh bother!_ she thought, _I hope this won't take long._

She turned to see one of her potential Black Magicians hurrying towards her, clutching a very large, old book. Her heart sank, _It would have to be Velda_, she groaned silently, _the keenest and the most irritating of my students_.

Velda smiled as she caught up with Sonea. "I'm so glad to have caught you, Sonea. I have been puzzling over a chapter in the book you asked me to read, and I wonder if you would explain it to me?"

Sonea looked around and spotted a nearby table and chairs and suggested they sit down, as the book was heavy. It took almost an hour before Velda had exhausted all her questions and Sonea was free to go.

Sonea closed her front door and sighed with relief, _Home at last!_ she thought, _and no more interruptions. _Khara was out, so she could get on with things without having to worry about anything else.

A few minutes setting the lock and settling down in the comfortable armchair, and she was soon in Akkarin's apartment. He was not waiting for her inside, so she went to the garden. She couldn't see him in his usual place by the fountain, and looked around in surprise. She hadn't really taken much notice of the gardens before, so she had no real idea of how big they were. There was a little path going off into shrubbery, so she started out to see if she could find him. After a few minutes, the path led to a clearing where there was a small pond and she saw Akkarin sitting by the water. As she sat down beside him, he turned to look at her. He was wearing his cold, aloof expression, which gave no clues to what he was thinking.

"So you finally met my family, Sonea, tell me, what do you think of them?"

"I don't think they would win any prizes at a popularity contest," she smiled, "They probably don't think I would win any either!" She took hold of his hand and curled her fingers around it. "No wonder you are so good at that expressionless, remote look you used to use so often. You must have had lots of practice!"

She felt him relax slightly and the beginnings of a smile appeared. "I had forgotten just how awful they could be. I should be grateful to the Guild, because it kept me away from them." He got up and pulled her to her feet. "Come on, let's go inside and have some tea."

She settled on the banquette, close to Akkarin who put his arm around her, so she could rest her head on his shoulder. They avoided the topic of his family and chatted about more pleasant things, sipping tea and nibbling on tartlets, until all the refreshments had gone. _I still find that odd_, she thought, _eating and drinking here. It's best not to think about it too much._

She felt so calm, compared with earlier. It was so peaceful here with just Akkarin for company. She could almost believe they had gone off to that faraway place just as they had planned. _I don't know how I would have coped without this place_. She felt as if she could spend all her time here.

Akkarin raised her head and kissed her. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him back. Several pleasurable minutes passed and she was just wondering if they should move to a more comfortable place, when Akkarin said,

"Much as it pains me to mention them, I think we need to talk about my family. They will not acknowledge you or the promise, but of course, they don't know about the baby. Once they do, there is no doubt they will try to take it. You need a plan and I have been thinking about what you could do. There is only one person who can change or vary the law and that is the King. I think, once they start the legal proceedings to take the child, you must go to the King. He was fond of me so perhaps he will decide to help you. He owes a lot to you, Sonea, and that is worth remembering."

Sonea was unconvinced. She remembered the King at the Hearing and the expression on his face when he looked at them both, how his eyes had narrowed when he looked at Akkarin, how he had sent him away, hoping he would die in Sachaka.

"If we are to rely on King Merrin, then I am very worried about what will happen." Sonea. "I do not think he would go against the Houses to help a dwell."

"But you are not a dwell now, you are Black Magician Sonea, a powerful magician who holds the key to the magical defence of Kyralia in her hands. Have faith, Sonea. We still have some time, and I will continue to think about the plan." He smiled, "It is a good place to think, here."

She snuggled up to him again, head on his chest, arms tight around him. She could feel him stroking her hair and she gave herself up to the utter peacefulness and joy of the experience. After a while, she heard him sigh and he sat up, untangling himself from her embrace.

"Sonea, do you remember when I first told you about this place, I said that people shouldn't spend too much time here. There are stories of people who never wanted to be in the real world, so they came here for longer and longer periods. This had serious consequences for their health." He stopped speaking and Sonea felt herself grow cold inside.

"I am beginning to fear that you are in danger of doing the same thing, His voice was low, as he continued. "I am going to say something which will upset you very much."

"No, don't say anything!" Sonea could hardly get the words out. "You are going to tell me not to come, aren't you? Well I won't stop coming here. I couldn't bear going back to being without you again. I won't! I won't!"

Akkarin looked at her, sadly, "You forget, I hear all your thoughts. You have been thinking a lot about how much you like it here and about how you would like to stay here.

These are dangerous thoughts. You have got to break the habit of coming so often to this place."

Sonea stared at him, her face pale, "You can't mean it," she whispered. "I lost you once, I will not lose you again. I won't go back to sitting by your grave, because that is the only physical connection I have with you."

He stood up and pulled her into his arms. "I blame myself, because I wanted you to be here so much. I look forward to the times you are here, because I don't want to be parted from you either. But it can't go on, you must concentrate on your own life in the real world." He pushed her away from him a little so he could look into her face. "There's something else, too. You have to think about the baby. It needs a strong, healthy mother, not someone who wants to spend her time in another dream world."

"Oh, Akkarin, that's a low trick, to say it will harm the baby." Sonea's voice was thick with tears. "How can I hurt my child? How can I give up seeing you? You put me in an impossible position." She walked away from him towards the doors to the garden. She looked at the tranquil scene, the fountain, the flowers, the birds. _How can I stay away?_ she thought. _How can I bear it?_

She felt him come up behind her and gently turn her around to face him. He put his fingers under her chin and raised her head, wiping the tears from her cheeks. Then kissed her slowly, gently and deeply. She felt her heart crack at the sadness in the kiss.

"Ah, my Sonea, it's a hard thing I ask, I know," he whispered. "I am not saying that you should never come here, simply that you should not come here every day. You won't be completely alone; we can still talk – mind to mind. But you have to understand the dangers in feeling so comfortable here and the risks you take with your health."

Sonea nodded, "I do understand, I just don't want to accept it. How often can I come, once a week, once a month, once every two months, it all sounds so mechanical. It isn't a lesson timetable, with visits programmed and fixed. I want to be able to come when I need you."

A brief smile crossed his face, "I am sure we'll be able to find a solution which allows you time here, but keeps the risks low."

"If I am to be restricted in my time here," Sonea grinned suddenly, "Then I want cherries on my cake when I do come. I want you very much, Akkarin, give me lots of cherries today!"

He laughed and picked her up and carried her into the bedroom.


	11. A Problem Disclosed

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan**

**A Problem Disclosed**

The Inner Council of the Magicians' Guild had been convened, the members had arrived and it only remained for High Lord Balkan to put in an appearance. Vinara glanced around the table trying to assess how they were coping with the aftermath of the recent fighting and destruction. Lord Timur, the new Head of Warriors, seemed relaxed and confident. He had been Balkan's deputy for some years, so his promotion to Head had not been too big a change. The Head of the Alchemists, Lord Veros, seemed slightly uneasy, this was perhaps understandable, because his recent elevation had been a considerable surprise, not least to him. Administrator Osen was his usual competent self. His years of assisting Lorlen made the task easy for him.

_All in all_, Vinara thought, _they have coped reasonably well, under the circumstances, as have I._

In theory, there should have been another Head of Discipline at the table, but it had been agreed earlier that Black Magician Sonea was too young and too inexperienced to join and they decided that she would not be told of the existence of the Inner Council. She was invited to more general meetings, although she didn't contribute very much to the discussions, merely waiting until asked her opinion, rather than putting forward her own ideas. _Yes, Sonea is a bit of a problem_, thought Vinara _and she will be a bigger one very soon!_

At last, Balkan arrived and Vinara observed him closely. He didn't seem to have the presence of his predecessor. _It's those white robes_, she thought. Previous High Lords had appeared powerful and mysterious, all covered in black with only the gold incal on a sleeve to provide some small bit of colour. But white robes, with a silver incal simply looked pale and uninteresting. They didn't suit Balkan very much either, making him look rather pasty. _They would have suited Akkarin better_, she thought, _providing a contrast to his black hair and eyes, but Balkan with his pale grey hair and pale blue eyes simply merges into the whiteness_.

The Administrator distributed a list of items for discussion and they got down to business. Balkan had an unfortunate habit of setting out the issues in a way which resembled an old teacher lecturing a class of inattentive children, and Vinara noticed several times how members fidgeted in their seats or doodled on their pads during his explanations.

At last the main items had been dealt with and Balkan asked if there were any other things the Inner Council needed to discuss. The others seemed to want to get away, but Vinara needed to speak.

"I am still monitoring Sonea's health and I am pleased to say she is responding well to treatment. However, there is one thing, which may be a matter of concern. It's her power. We all know that she's strong, she was one of the strongest novices we have had for years and her power developed as she progressed. However, since the recent fighting, her power has increased considerably and is still growing. As far as I am able to compare her with others, I would say that she is by far the most powerful magician in the Guild."

There were surprised gasps from the people round the table, as they considered the importance of her words.

"You say her power is still increasing, do you think this will continue for much longer?" Balkan seemed particularly concerned. "An increase in any magician's power like this would be worrying, but in a Black Magician…." His voice trailed off as he frowned.

"I cannot say, High Lord," Vinara said. "I have never seen anything like it. I cannot tell if it is simply related to her natural power or whether black magic has anything to do with it. As far as I know, she has not taken power from any one else since the fighting stopped."

"You know, I never liked the idea of having Black Magicians in the Guild." Balkan sighed, "But the King was determined. I think all the events around Akkarin and what happened afterwards frightened him. Sonea was our only choice, too young, too inexperienced and a child of the slums, not an ideal candidate, but there was no alternative. You know we tried everything to find someone else."

The others nodded. It was very unsettling. There had been too much change in recent weeks and they longed for the calm routine of the Guild they had been used to.

"There have been a lot of murmurings amongst the Warriors," Timur said. "They blame Akkarin for the loss of so many good magicians during the fighting. They feel he should have told us what was happening rather than trying to do it all himself. It is most unfortunate that he took Sonea for his Novice and trained her in black magic. As you say, we have no choice with her, but the Warriors don't like it."

"Rothen has done a lot to calm feeling among the Alchemists," Veros said. "There was a lot of concern in the beginning, but not so much now, but one or two seem to resent her."

"What about the Healers, Vinara?" Balkan looked at her closely.

"They are very worried. So many of them work alone, throughout Kyralia, and they feel particularly vulnerable. They think the Ichanis could come over the border at any time and no one would be any the wiser until the bodies are found. There is also the problem of providing Healing for the dwells in the city and poor people in the countryside who cannot pay for treatment. They blame Sonea for getting the King to agree with her obsession that everyone should have equal access to Healing regardless of whether they can pay for it or not."

"So, not a particularly happy picture." Balkan considered things for a moment. "I suggest that you continue to monitor Sonea's power and keep me informed. If necessary, I shall have to consider restricting her movements even further until we can find out what may be at the bottom of this. I don't have to tell you that this discussion remains secret. I don't want it to become common knowledge or it will simply cause more upset in the Guild."

The members of the Inner Council began to gather their papers. Vinara sighed, _One problem brought into the open, soon I shall have to persuade Sonea to tell the High Lord about her condition. There's no knowing how he will react to that!_


	12. A New Sister

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan**

A New Sister

For the tenth time that day, Sonea decided she had made a mistake. She looked at the note in her hand and wondered if it were too late to tell the sender that she would not be at home this afternoon. But, of course, it was much too late and Sonea was committed to receiving Lady Alkaria of family Delvon, House Velan for tea and cakes at 3pm.

The note had arrived three days ago to Sonia's great surprise. She felt that her visit to Akkarin's family home had been something of a disaster and had decided that she would see none of them again, if she could possibly help it. Alkaria's note had been friendly, though and difficult to ignore; she had expressed a wish to meet Sonea and suggested that, as she would be in the city for a dress fitting, perhaps she could call in on Lady Sonea on her way home.

Sonea was already on edge. She was honouring her promise to Akkarin not to visit him for ten days, but it had been very difficult, even more difficult than she had imagined. She was not sleeping well and had taken to snapping at her students much to their surprise. Then there had been a long session with Lady Vinara who had spent a lot of time poking and prodding and questioning her about everything from her eating habits to her magical exercise routines. At the end of it, Sonea had felt as if she had been turned inside out and left to dry.

Now, Sonea was feeling tired and irritable, not really up to the task of entertaining a potentially difficult character who might simply be trying to make her feel uncomfortable. _I should never have said yes_, she thought miserably. _I don't need this, with everything else going on. I've got a horrible headache starting as well!_

As it got closer to 3 o'clock, Khara got everything ready and set the table in the guest room with a pretty display of small cakes and tarts, as well as a dish of fresh fruit. She was still fussing around when a knock came at the door and went to let in Sonea's visitor.

Alkaria had a big smile on her face as she greeted Sonea, pressing a small bunch of exquisite white roses into her hand. "I hope you like these," she said brightly. "Thank you for agreeing to meet me, it must have been a difficult decision after the reception you got when you came to see us!"

Sonea was surprised to see her so bright and cheerful, compared to her attitude when they met before. She asked her guest to sit down and poured cups of tea for them both.

"Yes, thank you Lady Alkaria, they are lovely. Do have a cake."

"Oh, please, just call me Alkaria and I will call you Sonea, after all if my brother had lived, we would have been sisters, wouldn't we?" She looked around the room, a small grimace crossed her face, and she went on, "This is a rather depressing room, isn't it? Did you choose these colours?"

Sonea, who had grown used to her apartment and rarely noticed the furniture, looked around and shrugged, "It was like this when I was given the rooms. When I moved in, I was still unwell and didn't take much notice; now I am used to it. There's not much I can do, the Guild only replaces furniture when it needs it, not just because someone doesn't like the colour."

Alkaria jumped to her feet and began to look more closely at the furniture and curtains. "Hmmmm, it all looks in depressingly good condition, so I don't think you could expect replacements for years! You could brighten it up with a few ornaments and things."

She picked up the little jewelled box from the sideboard and smiled, "I remember this!" she said, "I gave it to Akkarin for his birthday, oh, it must be three years ago. Did he give it to you?"

"It was in the box of his possessions your parents sent back to the Guild." Sonea replied, hoping that Alkaria would not ask for it back.

Alkaria put the box down and returned to her chair. She was wearing a dark blue dress, beautifully cut to show off her slim, elegant figure and decorated with gold embroidery. The dark colour showed up her fashionably pale complexion, but also enhanced her resemblance to her brother. Sonea was fascinated to see just how much she shared with Akkarin, not simply the same hair and eye colouring and similar features, but also mannerisms and gestures.

Alkaria noticed her staring and laughed, "They tell me I look a lot like my brother, do you think so too?"

"Yes," Sonea said quietly.

"I'm sorry, that wasn't a nice question. You must miss him and I shouldn't have reminded you." Alkaria came over to Sonea with a swift movement and knelt by her side, putting long elegant fingers on her arm. "Please forgive me, Sonea?"

Sonea found it very disconcerting to have Alkaria kneeling, with a pleading expression on her face, looking up at her with those large dark eyes. _Akkarin's_ _eyes_, she thought suddenly. It didn't feel right, so she tried to break the mood.

"Er…some more tea, Alkaria?"

"No thank you," Alkaria got to her feet and went back to examining the room. She looked at all the ornaments, flicked through a few of the books lying around and went to stare out of the window. There was silence for a few minutes, then she turned to Sonea.

"I hope we can be friends, Sonea. I like you and I would really like to get to know you better. You could tell me more about my brother. I didn't know him very well, and you heard what my parents thought of him. I am sure you can tell me what he was really like."

Sonea didn't answer straight away. She felt uneasy and wasn't sure what Alkaria really wanted. _Do I want to spend time discussing Akkarin with this woman? No!_

"You must forgive me Alkaria, but I do not wish to discuss Akkarin with anyone, not even his sister. We had planned to marry so you can imagine how much it upsets me to talk about him so soon after his death." Sonea hoped that this would be enough to curb Alkaria's enthusiasm.

Alkaria's face fell and she sighed, "I know it must be hard for you. I'm sorry for asking. But we could still be friends, couldn't we? We could visit each other, perhaps go out in the city sometimes."

Sonea smiled at the picture she had painted, "I am a Guild magician, Alkaria, and I have a lot of work to do here. I don't have time to go out in the city unless it is for something to do with my studies. I'm afraid I don't have time for a social life!"

Alkaria frowned, "I don't really know what magicians do but you must have some time to yourselves. Let's meet again in a couple of weeks; I could always come here, if that is easier for you? Please, Sonea, I do want to be friends."

Against her better judgement, Sonea nodded and said, "Well, I am sure I could find the time for tea and a few cakes. I'll send you a note, when I have a free afternoon."

Alkaria smiled broadly and clapped her hands, "Yes, that would be wonderful. I shall really feel I have a sister – I've always wanted one you know."

Sonea decided not to remind her she already had one in Vettin's wife. There was something very childlike about the girl, despite the fact she was older than Sonea by a couple of years.

After she'd gone, Sonea sat down and breathed a sigh of relief. She was glad it was over.

_Akkarin?_

_Sonea? _

_What a strange girl your sister is! I can't think why she wants to be friends with me, it will only upset her parents._

She could sense Akkarin's amusement as he sent, _Alkaria has always been a law unto herself. Perhaps she just likes you._

_You didn't tell me she gave you that box._

There was silence for a moment, and then he sent. _She didn't, I had it made myself as a gift for someone._

_So why did she tell me she gave it to you? How very strange._

_Sonea, nobles of the Houses play Games with people, it is one of their traditions. I think Alkaria is playing a Game with you._

Sonea sighed, _I shall never understand highborn people! So who did you have the box made for? _she asked mischievously, _One of those beautiful women your mother mentioned who wanted to marry you? _

You are right, I had it made to give to a beautiful woman I wanted to marry. I put my ring inside it so she could wear it until I gave her a marriage ring. I just did not find the right time to give it to her.

Sonea was silent. _You had to ask the question you fool!_ she thought.

She heard Akkarin laugh. _I set it with a magical lock, which was impossible to open. The key could only be found by the person intended to open the box._

_Well, your magic is not very good then, I could open it! _Sonea chortled.

_Exactly, _he replied.


	13. Disappointment

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they belong to Trudi Canavan.**

Disappointment

Alkaria was miffed. It was over a week and still she had heard nothing more from Sonea about a date for another visit. She was not used to being ignored and was not quite sure what to do about it. She had sent a nice little note, thanking Sonea for the refreshments and attached a small box of sweetmeats. Sonea did not reply.

She waited another day or so and then sent another note, this time attached to a pretty porcelain figure of a young girl and a kitten. No reply came back. _It was all so_ _annoying_, she thought.

The next note was sent with a lovely, expensive silk scarf in blue, green and gold. This time Sonea replied and sent back the porcelain figure and the scarf, explaining that she could not keep receiving gifts. Alkaria could have screamed. She had spent so much time choosing them, making sure each one was just right.

_So what am I going to do next?_ she thought. _There must be some way to make Sonea respond._

She sat down at her dressing table and stared at her reflection in the mirror. She admired the way her short, straight hair emphasised the elegant oval of her face. She smiled prettily at her reflection. When she was younger, she had spent hours practising various smiles and could now produce an individual smile just right for whatever the occasion. She had learned from Jenna just how to outline her eyes, to emphasise their shape, and how to apply subtle hints of colour to accentuate their dark, sparkling depths. _All this beauty_, she thought_, and Sonea doesn't seem to notice!_

Alkaria didn't think of herself as vain. She had been taught from an early age that the first duty of a highborn woman of an important House was to be charming and beautiful, so that she would be an ornament to her husband. _But I don't want a husband, _she thought, _I want Sonea to appreciate how I look!_

She wished she knew some other magicians, so she could decide if Sonea's reactions were typical or not. The only other magician who had sometimes come home with Akkarin, was Lorlen and she had not seen him for years. She sat and mentally checked the list of her friends, and racked her brains to see if she could remember if any of them had relatives who were part of the Guild, but try as she might, she just could not think of any.

"Oh botheration!" she suddenly said loudly, causing her servant to almost drop a dish she was moving. "There must be something."

In the end, after another twenty minutes of hard thinking, she decided to write a letter to Sonea and send it without any gifts or anything which might cause her to reject it. _She didn't say she couldn't accept a letter_, she thought triumphantly.

It took her a long time, and several attempts, before she produced a letter she was happy with. She quickly folded it up, sealed it and sent her servant off with it to arrange delivery. _Now all I have to do is wait_.

But three days later she had still no reply and was now more than miffed, she was quite angry. _This calls for direct action_, she decided, and set off for the Guild. She knew it was not usual for people to simply call on magicians, everything was supposed to be done by invitation, but by this time, she was convinced that Sonea would just ignore a letter.

_She won't ignore me if I arrive in person!_

But things did not go to Alkaria's plan. When she arrived at the Guild, there was some debate about letting her in, as she could not produce an invitation. She was able to charm the young man on duty into letting her in to the Guild's grounds, but when she arrived at Sonea's apartment, her servant refused to let her enter.

"Lady Sonea is not at home," she said. "I do not know when she will be back, as she is very busy."

When Alkaria suggested that she might wait, the servant looked shocked. "I am afraid you cannot wait in Lady Sonea's rooms, my lady. It is not possible for people who are not members of the Guild to wait in any magician's rooms and especially not in Black Magician Sonea's room."

Alkaria had to admit defeat. It was such a disappointment. However, she had no intention of giving up. _I shall simply have to think of something else_, she decided as the carriage jolted over the cobblestones and into her family's grounds.


	14. Reunion

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan.**

Reunion

It had been a long day. Sonea and her group of trainee Black Magicians had spent several hours pouring over a very old book, which the librarian had found at the back of a very dusty cupboard, hidden away at the far end of the library cellars. It was several hundred years old and dated to the time when all magicians practised higher magic – what later came to be called black magic.

The text was badly faded and the language odd in many places, very different from the Kyralian spoken today, so it had taken a long time to decipher the meaning. However, the time spent had been well worth it as several missing pieces of the black magic puzzle had fallen into place. Everyone was excited at having managed to fill a number of gaps and when they had asked Sonea to come to the Night Room, she hadn't the heart to say no.

It hadn't been a good experience as far as Sonea was concerned. When she and her six students walked in, there was a momentary hush and it seemed that all eyes turned towards them. They found a corner and sat down, still the focus of all eyes. Sonea supposed that the entrance of seven black clad magicians in a single group was enough to unsettle most people, although, to be fair, the students weren't dressed entirely in black, and wouldn't be until they had graduated; their robes were very dark grey, with black hoods, but the overall impression was one of darkness.

The buzz of conversation resumed after a minute or two, but Sonea still felt her little group was the subject of sidelong glances and whispered speculation. Perhaps her tension was noticeable, because one or two of her friends made a point of coming over for a few minutes. She was especially grateful when Rothen sat down with them for almost half an hour.

Finally, the session was over and she could escape to the welcome solitude of her apartment. Khara had gone for the day, so she could look forward to an uninterrupted evening. This was important to her, because tonight the ten days were up and she could go to see Akkarin.

It had been very hard, so many times she had been tempted to simply ignore her promise and go, but in the end, it was thoughts about their child which kept her away. _Nothing must happen to our baby_, she had thought many times during the ten days. _There will never be another one_.

She felt a little nervous, like someone going out with a special person for the first time. Although she told herself how silly that was, the feeling didn't go away. She bathed in flower-scented water and brushed her dark, curly hair until it shone. She thought about what to wear and decided to leave her robes behind. She didn't have many other clothes, but she did have a new dress, made of a heavy dark green silk and embroidered with tiny white flowers around the neck and sleeves. She couldn't really remember what had persuaded her to have it made, but she was glad now. Looking at herself in the mirror, it was almost as if a stranger stood there. She was so used to seeing herself encased in black, that the green seemed almost gaudy, despite the fact that it was a dark colour.

The dress emphasised the swelling of her body and reminded her that she would soon have to see High Lord Balkan and tell him about the child. Vinara mentioned this every time she examined Sonea these days.

Sonea set the door lock and moved into her bedchamber. She lay down on her bed and closed her eyes. She breathed deeply and regularly for a few minutes, but the fluttering in her stomach wouldn't go away. She concentrated.

The first thing she saw was a huge bowl of cherries sitting in the middle of the table, which made her laugh out loud. There was no sign of Akkarin, so she went to look for him. He was not by the fountain, so she took the little path to the clearing. She saw him standing gazing across the water and paused for a moment to really look at him.

He was dressed in dark blue loose fitting trousers, and a white silk shirt with flowing sleeves. His hair was neatly bound with a dark blue velvet ribbon and as she gazed at his profile, she thought she had never seen him look so handsome.

_You are staring at me, again_, _Sonea,_ he sent without turning round, amusement in his mental voice.

_It isn't fair! I can't surprise you now,_ she grumbled. _You know everything!_

_Oh, I am sure you can find something to surprise me with; you have been doing so for months! _

He turned away from the lake and walked towards her. She went to meet him and folded herself into his arms. The fluttering in her stomach increased as she turned her face up to his for a kiss. She felt his presence in her mind and all at once the pleasure she experienced in the kiss was magnified as she felt his own response and the mingling of their power produced its doubling effect as pleasure shot through her.

"I have missed you so much," she whispered. "These have been the longest ten days of my life."

He took her hand and they walked back to the building. He settled her on the banquette and she wrapped her arms around him, with a sigh and closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, he was looking at her, a faint smile on his face. _I missed you too_, he sent. _For years I_ _was like a solitary tree in an empty field, needing no-one and happy to be alone, but you have wrapped yourself around me like ivy, sending roots deep into my core, I find I cannot do without you now._

Sonea caught her breath; it was the first time he had said such a thing and her heart gave a great leap as she realised how much he loved her. She took his face in her two hands and kissed his eyes and the corners of his mouth. His presence in her mind told her how much he enjoyed it. She brushed his mouth with her lips, before enclosing it with her own. His mouth opened beneath hers and she shivered as she felt his tongue trace the shape of her lips.

By mutual consent, they stood up and moved towards the bedchamber.

_That's such a pretty dress, it's a shame you will not get to wear it for much longer_, he sent, laughter and promise in his mental voice.

It was only a matter of minutes to remove their clothing and slide into the bed. Sonea reached out and pulled the ribbon from his hair, letting it fall loose, the way she preferred it. She threaded her hands through it, its silky softness creating ticklish sensations she found particularly pleasing. She tugged it to bring his face close to her own and they lost themselves in passionate kisses, while their hands performed a new exploration of their bodies. Sonea felt his hands caress her swelling stomach, his mental presence radiating his joy at the coming of a child, tinged with sadness that he would never see it, except through Sonea's mind.

Time stopped for them as they entwined themselves around each other, finding new ways to fulfil the needs of their bodies and the desires of their minds. The mingling of their power magnified each sensation, leaving them breathless until their lovemaking reached its joyful conclusion and they lay quietly in each other's arms.

"Did I produce enough cherries for you?" he smiled at her, wickedly.

"I may have to sample them again, before I decide," she retorted.

They lay still for some time, happy just to be in each other's arms. _Well, that's_ _dealt with the strange fluttering in my stomach_, Sonea thought. _If I ever get it again, I shall know what to do!_

"I suppose you are going to tell me I must stay away for another ten days," she said. "I don't know how I managed it this time, and I don't suppose it will get any better."

" We agreed what we would do. There's no need to start another argument," he stroked her hair back from her face and kissed her gently. "It is hard for me, too, I am alone here with very little to take my mind off wanting you with me."

"I'm so selfish!" Sonea said, contrite. "I think only of myself and not of you alone here." She brooded for a moment, and then said, "I wonder….."

He looked quizzically at her, "What?"

"If I read a book, and you see it through my eyes, could you recreate it here?"

Akkarin thought for a moment. "I have been able to recreate those of my own books I know really well, so I suppose I would be able to recreate ones you have read, if I read them with you. I could do it page by page, perhaps."

She propped herself up on one elbow and smiled broadly down at him, "I have just the thing to take you mind off me! I have many old books to work through to improve my knowledge of black magic. You could help me by studying them too and we could work together, just like we did before."

He smiled at her, "See, you **have** managed to surprise me again!"


	15. Disclosure

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan**

Disclosure

Vinara glanced over at Sonea who still looked very uncomfortable to be in the High Lord's Residence again. She had finally been persuaded that Balkan must be told about her condition without further delay, but had been reluctant to actually go and see him. In the end, Vinara had insisted and organised a time for the meeting herself.

Balkan was late, so they had been shown into the guest room. Sonea had paused in the doorway and looked around quickly. Her face was pale and closed, with no expression. Her eyes were drawn to the sideboard, with its decanters and wine glasses. _She won't find any of Akkarin's favourite Anuran Dark_, Vinara thought. _Balkan prefers the white wine of Kendil._

Eventually Balkan's servant came to take them to his meeting room, where he was already seated at the long table.

"I am sorry not to have been here when you arrived," Balkan smiled briefly. "Please sit down."

They sat opposite him and accepted the tea and pastries offered by the servant. When he had served the refreshments, he left the room, quietly shutting the door behind him.

"We will not be disturbed," Balkan said, " I understand from Vinara that you need to speak to me urgently, Sonea."

Sonea, who had been gazing at her hands, which lay in her lap, raised her eyes and looked at him for the first time since entering the room. She paused for a moment and then said. "I am pregnant."

There was a swift intake of breath from Balkan, who looked sharply at Vinara. She nodded briefly, and his eyes turned again to Sonea.

"When will the child be born?" he asked.

"Vinara says in about five months." Sonea's voice was low and her eyes never left Balkan's face.

"I see. And who is the father or your child, Sonea?"

"High Lord Akkarin," her voice was firm, her gaze direct.

Balkan frowned, "Did this relationship start when you were the High Lord's Novice?"

"No. We were both fully aware of the Guild's rules. Our relationship started when we were no longer guardian and novice, when we were cast out into Sachaka to live or die together. Later, when we returned to Imardin, we agreed to marry and High Lord Akkarin gave me this ring," she held out her hand so he could see the incal, "Only his death prevented the marriage taking place."

Balkan sighed. "I am surprised, Sonea, that you allowed this situation to develop. It seems reckless that the two of you embarked on this course, when the future seemed so dark for you both personally, and for Kyralia. I would go so far as to say you were irresponsible."

Sonea's face grew even more expressionless, if that were possible, and her eyes grew cold. She stared intently at Balkan, who found himself flushing under that icy examination.

"Until you have been placed in the position that High Lord Akkarin and I found ourselves in, you are unable to judge what should or should not have been the best course of action to follow. I am not here to debate the circumstances with you, merely to inform you."

Vinara gave a small gasp, _No one talks to the High Lord like that! _she thought.

Balkan also looked surprised at her reaction, he was not used to such treatment. At that moment, she reminded him of someone, but he couldn't quite place who it was. _This could be a very big problem,_ he thought.

He cleared his throat, "I'm sorry, Sonea, that you feel I am being unfair to you. However, there is no doubt that this news will cause grave disquiet to some members of the Guild. As you know, there are many who have not fully forgiven Akkarin for his actions. When it becomes common knowledge that his former Novice is pregnant by him, that will simply reinforce people's poor opinion of him."

"I expect you and the Higher Magicians to ensure that everyone knows that there was no improper relationship between High Lord Akkarin and myself, when we were guardian and novice. If such rumours develop, I will assume that you have not ensured that the truth is known."

Balkan looked at Vinara somewhat helplessly, he didn't know how to deal with Sonea in her present mood. Vinara simply looked back, equally helplessly. She didn't know what to do either.

"Yes…. Well….. of course, I shall inform the Higher Magicians of the circumstances, and see that it is passed on, but I cannot control every little bit of gossip which breaks out in the Night Room."

"When you pass on the news, I should be grateful if you would also inform them that I regard the promises exchanged between High Lord Akkarin and myself as binding. I therefore regard myself as married."

"Now, don't be too hasty, Sonea. You are a very young woman, with a long life ahead of you. It is not wise to make such an announcement. What will you do in a few year's time when you meet someone else?" Vinara leaned closer to her, "It's natural you feel this way now, but you may not feel the same once the child is born."

Sonea turned her cool look on the Healer, "I am not going to change my mind, Vinara. I want to make sure that everyone understands exactly what my situation is. I would not want anyone to think I am merely a dwell with no moral sense who is looking for a new man, now that her lover is dead."

Vinara felt her cheeks go red. _That was exactly what a lot of people would think_, she thought, _myself included, despite knowing her better than most._

"High Lord Balkan, Lady Vinara, I have been exiled by the Guild once, and had already reconciled myself then to perhaps not returning. If my presence, and that of my baby, is too difficult for the Guild to cope with, then I would be quite happy to remove myself from its precincts. There are many places in the world where I could live quite happily, with my child, and the Guild could continue on its way, equally happily."

"Now, I am sure things can work out in way you suggest, Sonea," Balkan said hastily. "Perhaps you should go and rest, I will discuss with Vinara a suitable work schedule for you over the next few months. We don't want you to overtax yourself."

He waited until Sonea had left, before turning to Vinara, a look of excitement in his eyes, "The increase in power that you have observed in Sonea, could that be caused by the baby? After all its parents are powerful magicians, so perhaps it already has strong power of its own?"

Vinara thought for a moment, "I have never heard of such a thing before, but we have never had magicians like Sonea and Akkarin before, so any child of theirs might be unique."

"We cannot let such a child slip though our fingers. Sonea must not be allowed to leave the Guild. We stand no chance of blocking her powers without her cooperation, and after today's reactions, I am sure she will not give it. She must stay here until the child is born. After then, well, we'll have to see. Perhaps we could agree to let her go, powers unblocked, if she leaves the child with the Guild."

Vinara shook her head, "She will never give up the child. There's also the problem of what family Delvon, House Velan will say when they find out about it. They are short of heirs now that Akkarin is dead."

Balkan groaned, "Five months before the child is born. So many things can go wrong in that time. There is so much to do, and now this! I shall expect you to keep me informed about Sonea, Vinara. It is imperative that she remains happy, healthy and calm until the child is born. Continue to monitor her power and let me know if things change."

Vinara walked slowly back to her rooms. Sonea was developing a rather imperious attitude and it was going to be difficult to cope with her over the next few months. Vinara began to wish she had chosen Warrior skills as her discipline all those years ago. At least the problems Warriors had to deal with tended to be black and white ones, and not the many shades of grey that Healers faced.


	16. A Distraction

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan**

A Distraction

Sonea's head was aching after the session with Balkan, so she decided to get some fresh air and went to sit in a quiet place in the gardens. She was still angry with some of the things which had been said, the hidden criticisms of Akkarin and what he may or may not have done.

_It doesn't matter, Sonea_, Akkarin's mental voice sounded calm.

_It matters to me what people think of you_, she said. _I will not have them say you acted improperly towards me._

She sensed laughter as he sent, _You defend me very well, they don't know what to say. Of course, you don't know how many times I __**wanted **__to act improperly towards you._

She smiled at the thought and began to imagine various scenes in the Residence where they could both have acted improperly! She sensed his amusement again, stronger, this time.

_You have some good ideas, but I don't think even you would have thought of this…._

She was still chuckling to herself, when Rothen came to sit down beside her. He looked at her oddly and she suddenly remembered what a picture she made, sitting alone, laughing to herself.

"I just remembered something," she said hastily, just in case Rothen thought she was disturbed. "It's funny how some things make you laugh."

Rothen patted her hand, "It's good to see you laugh again, Sonea. You have been so sad recently. How are you? Are things going well?"

They spoke for a few minutes, catching up on various matters and discussing the latest gossip in the Night Room. Rothen had a few funny stories to tell, so Sonea found herself grinning along with him and generally feeling a lot better. As Rothen was late for an appointment and so had to hurry away, Sonea decided to go home and get on with reading one of the old books she was sharing with Akkarin.

As she approached her front door, her heart sank. _Oh no! _she thought grimly, _that child's back!_

Sitting on the floor next to her door, looking charming in red and gold, was Lady Alkaria. She broke into a smile as she saw Sonea coming towards her and jumped to her feet.

"Sonea, oh please don't be angry, I did want to see you again and you didn't let me know when would be a good time to call."

Belatedly, Sonea recalled her rash promise to arrange another invitation for Alkaria to visit, so, deciding it was really her fault that the girl had turned up unannounced, she felt obliged to let her in. Khara was apologetic, she hadn't let Lady Alkaria in as she had no invitation, but "my lady" had insisted on waiting outside. Sonea calmed her servant down and ordered some tea and cakes.

Alkaria was looking around the apartment again, a look of concentration on her face.

"Why did you send back the little figure? I chose it specially to go on that bookcase. I'm sure the place would be better with a few pretty knick-knacks."

Wearily, Sonea explained again that she could not accept gifts; it was not something that magicians did. She had kept the sweetmeats only because they were a traditional "thank-you" after a tea party and were allowed by the rules. Everything else was not.

"Well something needs to be done here, it is so dark and gloomy. It's not the sort of room to cheer you up. You need to cheer up Sonea. I know you've been through a lot and losing my brother, just after deciding to get married, is enough to make anyone sad, but you have to get over it some time." Alkaria was looking genuinely concerned.

"I suppose it is a bit drab," Sonea admitted, "but I really don't pay much attention to it, I have a lot of things to do and just get on with them. I don't really care if a yellow jug would look better in a corner than a brown one."

The refreshments arrived and they chatted about inconsequential things until the tea had been drunk and the cakes eaten. Alkaria could be a lively companion when she put her mind to it and she chose to relate a whole series of funny anecdotes, which had happened over the years, and soon had Sonea smiling along. The time passed quickly, so Sonea felt an unexpected pang of regret when her guest suddenly said, "Oh dear, I'm going to be terribly late for an engagement with mother!"

Alkaria got to her feet and retrieved her cloak and gloves from the stand. She put them on and then turned to Sonea. "Thank you so much for seeing me. I really enjoyed our little chat."

Sonea walked with her to the door and was surprised when Alkaria gave her a big hug and kissed her cheek.

"I do like having a sister," she said cheerfully, "I hope you do too!"

Sonea shut the door behind her and breathed a sigh of relief. Even though Alkaria had been charming and the conversation light-hearted, she still found dealing with Akkarin's relatives difficult. She had so much to do and didn't need any more distractions.

_You see_, Akkarin sent, _she likes you!_

_Yes, but my instinct tells me that there's more to it. I'm sure she wants something; I just haven't worked out what it is yet. She is her mother's daughter after all._

_I am my mother's son, too, Sonea._

_Never! I think you are a Changeling – someone or something stole the real Delvon baby left you in its place. You are nothing like them at all._

_That's an interesting idea, _he mused, _I wonder where you came from?_

Sonea got the book out of the bookcase, picked up her notes and went to sit down at the table. "Come along, we have work to do" she said. "Now where were we? Chapter 17, I think."

She began to read and she could faintly hear him reading along with her, as he created page after page of the book. She found it reassuring to be sharing her work with Akkarin, who, after all, was far more skilled in black magic than she was. Already, he had managed to work out some of the bits she found difficult, so her work was going much faster than before.

They worked for a couple of hours before deciding Sonea was too tired to continue. She got ready for bed, carrying on a cheerful mental conversation as she did so. She climbed into bed and turned out the light. She was really very tired.

_Good night, Akkarin_, she said, _I miss you very much_.

_Good night, my Sonea_, he replied, _only a few more days until we meet again._


	17. Moving On

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan**

Moving On

Cery took a large gulp of wine and sighed with satisfaction. It really was a fine vintage and he made a mental note to congratulate his supplier, when next he placed an order. He paused for a moment to reflect. He had come out of the battle for Imardin with his standing in the eyes of the Thieves' Guild enhanced. His early alliance with Akkarin to track down and help eliminate the Ichani slaves and black magicians had been all to his credit. His foresight had been warmly praised by other Thieves. His long time friendship with Sonea had also been useful in promoting his image amongst ordinary citizens.

He was now an accepted leader of the Thieves' Guild and his area of influence in the city had grown. He had been part of the group who had met with King Merin to discuss the future of the slums and the setting up of Healing centres for the poor. He was a wealthy man, widely admired, whose opinions were sought by an increasing number of people. He had everything he had ever hoped for. He lived well, with many expensively furnished lodgings dotted around the city, women were drawn to him and his personal circle of followers continued to attract a large number of worthy recruits.

_So, why do I feel unsettled?_ he asked himself. _What more could I want? _

"_Sonea,"_ whispered a quiet voice in the back of his mind.

He smiled ruefully to himself. It had once been his dream to share the rest of his life with Sonea. He remembered fondly their childhood escapades, running wild in the slums, the secret trips to the Guild to spy on the magicians and his certainty they were meant to be together.

All that had changed when she and Akkarin had returned secretly to Imardin and Cery had seen for himself the strong ties which existed between them. He had watched the way they cared for each other and had seen the loving glances they frequently exchanged. He had told himself that she could never be for him now. He moved on, or so he thought. When the news of Akkarin's death broke, despite himself, Cery felt a small surge of hope that sometime in the future, when her grieving was done, Sonea would perhaps begin to think of him again.

He went to the Guild to see her, a few weeks after the battle. He was shocked at the sight of a pale, almost spiritless Sonea, who sat quietly in a chair, barely speaking more than a few words at a time.

_I had never seen her like that_, he thought, s_o ashen-faced, so weary_. The only time she showed any emotion was when she talked about Akkarin. She spoke for a long time about the last few minutes of their personal struggle.

"We should have gone to the Arena," she had said, over and over. "I can't understand why Akkarin didn't take control of it. If we had had the Arena, our power would have been limitless."

Cery had left after only a short visit and he hadn't been back. His network of informers kept him well informed of what was going on at the Guild, but he had not wanted to intrude on Sonea's grief again. _In time, perhaps_, he thought, _things might be different, but for now…_

There were other matters, which sustained his feelings of disquiet. Almost as soon as Cery found out about Akkarin's death, Takan had vanished. It was uncanny. One minute Takan had been part of the resistance, tireless in his efforts to help, and then the next minute he had gone. No one had seen what had happened to him. All of Cery's informers had been looking out for him, but nothing had been seen or heard of him since then. Cery didn't like loose ends, and Takan was definitely a loose end.

And then there were the tales of a hidden group of people living in the tunnels beneath the city. Numerous reports had reached Cery about hooded figures seen late at night in various parts of the city. Things had developed a habit of disappearing and reports often including sightings of mysterious figures who simply disappeared into thin air when challenged.

Cery and his lieutenants had patrolled likely areas and set traps in an effort to discover who these people were, but to no avail. They had found evidence in the tunnels of sleeping places, and fire pits, often with the remains of a hastily consumed meal, but no trace of the people involved. Cery would almost have believed that the mysterious figures were imaginary, except for the few traces they discovered. There was definitely someone living down there!

Cery, like all leaders, did not like the idea of unknown people living in his patch, pursuing their own goals and ignoring the dues they owed him. But so far, they had eluded every attempt to discover who they were or what they wanted. _Another loose end_, he thought, _and I am no nearer to tying it up than I was a month ago!_

Cery drank some more wine. _I have to stop this brooding, _he thought. _I will start to lose control if I don't stop worrying about nothing._

"Gol", he called. "Come here!"

Gol opened the door quietly and stood waiting. Cery appreciated the fact that Gol rarely questioned his master's orders, or bothered him with unnecessary ramblings. _Big, strong, and silent,_ Cery thought, _just what I want in a bodyguard_.

"Ah, Gol, I'm feeling lonely, see if you can find me a woman." Cery tossed a full purse to Gol. "Find me a pretty one, but one who knows how to keep her mouth shut. I don't need her for conversation."

Gol smiled knowingly as he pocketed the purse. "You want one that can do interesting tricks?"

"Just go and get me one, and be quick about it!"

The door closed behind Gol and Cery settled back with another full glass. He knew it wouldn't take Gol long to find an eager woman, pleased to have been chosen for an important Thief like himself.

_I have to move on_, he thought. _It's a whole new world in Imardin now, and I am in the best position to take full advantage of it. Forget Sonea, forget the Guild, forget Takan and keep looking for the people in the tunnels. It's simple really. _


	18. A Family Conference

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan**

A Family Conference

Alkaria heard the raised voices from her father's study on the floor below and wondered what had happened now. A little while earlier, there had been the sound of a horse skidding to a halt outside, quickly followed by the slamming of a door. Then she'd heard to door of her parents' sitting room open and close and footsteps in the corridor.

A few minutes later, there was a knock at Alkaria's door. It was her mother's personal servant.

"Lady Alechia wants you to come to Lord Lukon's study immediately, my lady."

"Has everyone been asked to go, Levia?" Alkaria asked, curiously.

"I believe a message has been sent to Lord Vettin, my lady."

Alkaria glanced at herself in the mirror, Lady Alechia did not hold with an untidy appearance, or tangled hair. Luckily, she had only recently returned from a visit to a friend, and was still dressed in one of her better gowns.

When she arrived in the study, she found her father pacing up and down, while Alechia was seated by the fireplace, looking like a thundercloud.

"Whatever's happened?" asked Alkaria.

Her mother opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, Lukon said, "We'll wait for Vettin, I don't want to go through this twice. Sit down, child, do you want some tea or fruit juice?"

Alkaria would have dearly loved a large glass of wine, but her father did not approve of drinking wine before evening, so she chose fruit juice and went to sit near some bookshelves and began to examine the titles.

It was half an hour before Vettin arrived, looking rather hot and bothered. Alkaria didn't know where he had been, but he knew better than to dally when asked to return immediately by his father. He had come alone and she wondered if that, too, had been part of her father's message.

"Well now that Vettin's here, we can start. I have just been told by one of my informers that the woman, Sonea, has announced that she is pregnant. The news is all over the Guild. She claims that Akkarin is the father."

Alkaria felt herself grow numb, Pregnant_,_ she thought, _Sonea's made love to my brother and she's going to have a baby. _She couldn't take it in. Her memories of Akkarin were all of a remote, rather cold figure, who never seemed to demonstrate any normal human feelings for anyone. All this time, Alkaria had assumed that Sonea had merely had an unfortunate crush on Akkarin. She had never dreamed that they might have actually made love. She suddenly realised her father was still speaking.

"…..could be difficult, but, if it true, it does solve one of our problems."

Vettin's face had paled when he heard Lukon's news. "How do we know she is telling the truth? She's a dwell and we all know what they're like. She probably thinks this is the best way to get money out of us, now that her earlier ploy failed."

Alechia looked up angrily, "They make a right pair, a dwell and a slave. They probably deserve each other. Is there no end to the shame that…..that…." She couldn't find a word hateful enough to describe her second son. "That selfish idiot will cause this House!"

Lord Lukon looked at his only daughter, "You have been very quiet, child. Don't you have anything to say?"

"I.,.I'm shocked, father," she said quickly. "I wonder why she said nothing when she came here the other day?"

Vettin laughed, "She probably hadn't thought of it yet!"

Lukon turned an unhappy gaze on his eldest child. _Vettin was really stupid sometimes_, he thought. _At least Akkarin had brains and was able to use them effectively, well, at least until he took a fancy to black magic_.

"There is no doubt that Sonea is pregnant. The Healer, Lady Vinara, has confirmed it. The timing suggests that it occurred while she and Akkarin were in exile. Unless she has a string of lovers and took them with her to Sachaka, it would seem that Akkarin is the father. I begin to see why she came to see us with that story of being promised in marriage and wanting it entered in the family records. Someone must have told her what the law is regarding noble bastards with lowborn mothers."

Alechia looked aghast, "You can't mean to claim the child!"

Lukon sighed, "Look, Alechia, what have you been trying to do for the past seven years? You have been trying to marry off Akkarin. And why did you waste your time doing that? So that he would produce a child. Well, he has produced a child. There will be a grandchild at last and we should be happy, despite the fact that he chose a dwell for the mother but that's been the situation in countless Houses over the years. The law recognises it. We take the child and raise it here. It will be a member of family Delvon, House Velan. No need to talk about its mother."

"A slum child to be heir after me! How can you do that to me father?" Vettin's face was both pasty white and red, where the rage coloured his cheeks.

Lukon sighed again. He went over to Vettin and put his arm around his shoulders. "I know it's hard to accept, my son, but, we waited how many years for you to produce an heir. It's not your fault; it's just something that happens to some men. We've tried everything, Healers, village Wise Women, witches, mistresses – nothing has changed. You cannot father a child, so we have to find our heir somewhere else."

"What about Alkaria? She knows her duty – get her married and bedded, take her child, if you must, but not a slum child."

Alechia laughed humourlessly, "Don't you think I have tried. She manages to irritate any suitable men who might want to marry her, stringing them along, whilst mocking them behind their backs. They all lose patience in the end. They all know about her now, so there's little chance of finding her a husband in Imardin. If we wait for Alkaria to do her duty, this family will cease to exist first."

Vettin went and flung himself into a chair. He felt utterly betrayed by what his father proposed to do. He **had** tried everything. All those evil tasting potions he had swallowed, the prodding and poking of his private parts until he felt like an exhibit in a circus, the performances with countless women, watched by numerous people to see if he could do it properly. There had been years of mortification and now, the final complete and utter humiliation, that a slum child should be brought into this house and raised as a pampered heir just because that bastard brother of his had managed to get a slut pregnant.

Alkaria looked at her father and brother hopelessly, "I'm sorry", she whispered, "I can't, I just can't. I shall never marry, I would rather die first."

Lukon snorted, "There's no need to be so melodramatic child. We have a solution, so you will never be put to the test. Think yourself lucky that those two got together and there will be an heir. Otherwise, you might have found yourself wedded and bedded before you knew what was happening."

He returned to his desk regarded his family sternly, "I have decided. We will go to the King and demand the child. The woman will probably try to put up a fight, but the King knows what he owes family Delvon, House Velan, so she will not win. The King will assess how much payment she deserves and as soon as it is born, we will take it. Alechia, you need to start looking for a suitable wet nurse. There's no point in leaving the child with the mother, it will only make it harder."

Alkaria went back to her room, still in a state of shock. She still could not believe that Sonea had had a physical relationship with Akkarin. It seemed the end of all her hopes that Sonea would begin to love her the way Alkaria loved her. _And I am sure I really love her_, she thought, _more than I have loved anyone else_.

She thought about Sonea and what it would mean to her to lose her child. _She lost her_ _lover, and now she will lose part of him again_, she thought. _That's a lot of pain for one woman to bear. She will have to live with the knowledge that her child will be only a few miles away, but she will never see it, nor will it ever know who its mother is._

Alkaria had always been rather selfish, her upbringing and circumstances had played a large part in her view of herself and her place in the world. Now for the first time, she was thinking about what would happen and how Sonea would feel. _I don't want her to_ _feel pain, I want her to be happy, even if she never comes to love me_ _the way I would_ _like_, Alkaria thought. _I must help her_.

As soon as that thought crossed her mind, Alkaria knew what she had to do. She must warn Sonea and help her fight against having her child taken away. She called for her servant. She must go to the Guild and see Sonea immediately; there was no time to lose.


	19. Confession

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan.**

Confession

"Thank you, Khara, that was excellent, as usual." Sonea smiled at her servant as she cleared away the remains of her supper. The meal had been just what Sonea needed after another tiring day pouring over old books. Now that the news of her pregnancy was out, she was also more conscious of being the focus of all eyes and the subject of even more whispered conversations than usual. It made her feel very uncomfortable.

Her students, on the other hand, had been happy for her and very concerned to see that she did not overwork. They were all fully qualified magicians, who had been specially chosen from the dozen or so volunteers, to become official Black Magicians. They ranged in age from Velda, who was only in her early twenties, to Veelen, who was over forty and a father of three young boys. Taking on the burden of learning previously forbidden magic had forged them into a solid group, very protective of their leader, Sonea.

_They have worked out rather well_, she thought. It had been a very difficult task to sort out exactly who were the right people and there had been several disappointed magicians who had not made the grade. _I think we made the right choices_. She had to truth-read them every three days, to ensure they were not misusing their knowledge of black magic and so far, there had been no problems with any of them.

Sonea had settled down for a quiet evening, when there was a sudden loud knocking at her door. She wasn't expecting anyone and couldn't think who would need to make such a noise. As she opened the door, a figure huddled in a dark cloak, with the hood pulled up, almost fell into the room. Sonea was astonished to find it was Alkaria.

"What on earth are you doing here? she asked.

Alkaria looked at her briefly as she took off her cloak, and Sonea was surprised yet again at her close resemblance to Akkarin. "I'm sorry, Sonea," she said, breathlessly, "I had to come as quickly as I could. I have something important to tell you."

Taking her unexpected visitor into the guest room, Sonea asked Khara to provide some refreshments. Alkaria seemed to be in quite a state, her usually perfect appearance spoiled by a wrongly buttoned shirt and uncombed hair.

"Now, Alkaria, whatever's happened? Sonea passed her a steaming cup of tea, hoping that the drink would calm her down.

Alkaria sipped her tea and smiled gratefully, "Thank you, I really needed that. I had a problem getting into the Guild and it took much longer than I thought." She put down the cup and regarded Sonea steadily.

"A messenger came to my father today. He knows about the child. He called us all together to tell us what he intends to do. He intends to claim it for an heir."

Sonea felt a chill settle along her spine. Although she always knew it was a possibility that Akkarin's family would try to claim her child, hearing it spoken in such definite terms was so much worse than she expected.

Alkaria sighed, "You've met us, we are not very nice people, I think. My father is used to getting what he wants. He was very close to the King's father, they were almost like brothers; my brothers were playmates to King Merin when he was a boy. Lukon has a lot of influence at Court….. I…..I want to help you keep your baby."

Sonea sipped her tea. She still felt that there was some hidden motive behind Alkaria's actions.

"You say your family are not nice people and certainly my meeting with you all confirmed that to me! Why should I believe you, when you say you want to help me?"

Alkaria thought for a moment and then said "Perhaps if I tell you a bit about us, I might convince you. My mother loves Vettin, he is the only one of her children that she feels any affection for. He used to run after her all the time as a child and in many ways, he still does, even though he's in his late thirties. He always tries to please her."

She paused before carrying on. "Mother disliked Akkarin because he never treated her with the reverence she felt she deserved, unlike Vettin. He was always getting into mischief. Jenna, a servant of mine, used to tell me stories about my brothers when I was young. I suppose she thought they would make me behave better. Vettin told tales and was always getting Akkarin into trouble with mother. Mother can be very creative with her punishments, but nothing she could do would make any difference to him."

"She doesn't like me very much either because I won't do what she wants. Luckily, I am my father's pet, something about being the youngest and the only girl, I suppose. He has always protected me from the worst of my mother's temper. This has allowed me to defy her and refuse to get married. But even his patience was beginning to wear thin because there were no grandchildren. I think he would have forced me to marry soon."

Her voice faded as she reached for her tea. " Father doesn't care for his sons very much, although I think he is fonder of Vettin. He was proud of Akkarin when he became High Lord, but was furious when he threw it all away. You heard him when he talked of the shame Akkarin brought on the family name. He feels that most strongly still and I don't think he will ever forgive him for that."

Something was puzzling Sonea. "You said that before your family knew about my child, your father was beginning to think you would have to get married to give the family an heir. Taking my child as heir would release you from that. So, why do you want to prevent my baby being taken? That would simply mean your family would make you marry." She looked directly at Alkaria, "Your story doesn't make sense."

Alkaria got up abruptly and began pacing around the room. She didn't reply, but frowned as she paced to and fro.

_Akkarin? Do you understand what she is really doing here?_

Sonea could sense uncertainty in Akkarin's presence. _I think you must wait and let her tell you,_ he sent.

Alkaria came to a halt before Sonea and to her surprise, sank to the ground by her chair. She looked up and said, "I will have to tell you, there is no other way. I do not want to marry. There is a reason for that; it is not just an impulse or a passing fancy. Sonea, I find women attractive, not men. I love women."

Sonea smiled briefly, "Yes, I think I knew that Alkaria. It is not the secret you seem to think it is."

Colour spread over Alkaria's face, "No, I know. But that's not the reason I want to help you. You're quite right, if my father takes your child for his heir, he will never require me to marry. It makes no sense for me to prevent him. But I do want to prevent him, with all my heart because…because I can't bear to think of you unhappy if you lose your child. It is all you have of my brother, and to take it away from you is wrong."

"That is a nice thought, Alkaria, but it doesn't really explain why you would want to help prevent the very thing which would save you from marriage."

Alkaria swallowed and her blush deepened. She looked directly into Sonea's eyes and said, "It's quite simple. I love you Sonea and I don't want you to be unhappy."

Sonea was astounded, of all the reasons Alkaria might have had, this was one Sonea would never have guessed. She sensed a mixture of amusement and relief from Akkarin.

_Now you know!_

"Now you know everything, Sonea." Alkaria said, unconsciously echoing her brother. "You do understand now, don't you?" She got up and walked over to the fireplace and stood uncertainly, watching Sonea closely.

_Oh bother!_ Sonea thought, _How can I cope with this as well. I don't want to upset her._

"You hardly know me, Alkaria. You've seen me, what, three times is it? That's a very short time to decide you love someone."

"How long did it take you to fall in love with my brother?" Alkaria smiled crookedly, "Not very long, by all accounts. If it can happen to you, why not me?"

"That's the other thing, Alkaria, I love your brother and I will never love anyone else. But, even if I thought I might love someone else one day, it would not be a woman."

"I know that! The minute I heard about the baby, I knew you were not like me. That doesn't alter the fact that I want to help you. If your child is taken into my family, how do you think it will be treated? It will be just like Vettin, Akkarin and me all over again! Please, please let me help!"

"I suppose your family doesn't know you are here?" Alkaria shook her head. "You should go home now, and let me think about what you've said." Sonea smiled at her guest. "It was very thoughtful of you to come to tell me. I appreciate that, Alkaria. I have a lot to think about and will need some time."

"Don't push me away, Sonea. I know I can help. You have to trust me." Alkaria sounded as if she was going to burst into tears.

"I need to think Alkaria. Just go home now, before you are missed. You don't want your mother to find out where you have been. That will only cause a lot more trouble."

It seemed as if Sonea had finally convinced Alkaria, because she started to put on her cloak and moved towards the door. Just before it was opened for her, she put her arms around Sonea and hugged her.

"We'll find a way, Sonea, don't worry," she said.

The door closed behind her and Sonea breathed a sigh of relief. She had been starting to think that the girl would never go.

Akkarin's mental voice broke into her thoughts.

_Sonea, come to me now!_


	20. The Way Ahead

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan**

The Way Ahead

Sonea was worried. She was familiar with many versions of Akkarin's mental voice, but she had never heard this one. It sounded, almost, as if he were afraid. In all the time she had known him, she had never heard fear in his voice before.

She sent Khara home and made sure all her locks were in place, before going in search of him. He was waiting just inside the door and immediately pulled her into his arms. He didn't say anything, just held her tightly. This alarmed her more than ever and she pulled away just enough to be able to look into his face. _There is something very much like fear_ _there,_ she thought.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, "I didn't mean to frighten you. We must talk and it's better done face-to-face."

They sat down at the table, where a hot drink and some tarts were waiting, but neither seemed interested in eating. Now she was here, it was almost as if Akkarin didn't know how to start. She reached out, took his hand and looked at him enquiringly, "What is it? Is it Alkaria? The things she said about me?"

A smile briefly touched his lips as he shook his head. "She's such a child even though she thinks of herself as a sophisticated young woman. No, it's more what she said about the rest of the family. I had almost forgotten how ruthless Lukon can be. When I went to the Guild, I tried to push thoughts of them to the back of my mind. Alkaria has reminded me of things I would rather forget."

"It's silly, I know, but even though I was expecting your family to claim our child, when she said it, I felt an icy feeling down my back." Sonea shuddered at the memory.

"You have two things in your favour and we must decide how best you can use them." Akkarin sounded very much the High Lord again. "Firstly, the Guild will not be keen to allow a child which should have strong magic potential out of its hands, even for a few years. They will also not be certain whether the fact that you and I practised black magic will have affected it. That is another reason for keeping both of you under Guild control. The second factor is the King. We have known each other for a long time and I think he's fond of me. A direct appeal to him might help your case."

"You've said that before about Merin. I'm not sure I believe it. Did you see the way he looked at you during the Hearing? He was angry. Very angry. Alkaria said Lukon had a lot of influence at Court, perhaps Merin will be more favourable to him."

Akkarin nodded, "Yes, it's possible. We must think very carefully how to put your case to the King. I was always able to get him to follow my lead, when I was High Lord. I hope I haven't forgotten how."

Sonea poured herself a drink and sipped it slowly. "Were all those things true? The things Alkaria said about Vettin, your mother and the rest of it?"

Akkarin's expression darkened, "Most of it. It is not a happy household for a lot of reasons. There was only one advantage, the creative punishments, as Alkaria called them, prepared me well for life as a slave. I was glad when the Guild took me. I like to think I would have run away, if I'd not had magic. I fancied a soldier's life when I was young. I could see myself as a famous warrior winning tournaments, winning wars and, of course, winning the heart of a fair maiden!"

"I could see you doing that too!" Sonea laughed, "Especially the fair maiden bit."

They both fell silent, each engrossed in their own thoughts. Akkarin absent-mindedly crumbled a cheese tart on his plate, while Sonea continued sipping her tea.

"Do you mind?" she asked at last, "About what Alkaria said. About her being in love with me?"

He looked up from the ruins of the tart and smiled, "No, and I am not surprised, I found it very easy to fall in love with you myself! Alkaria is a creature of impulse. She is not a bad child, but make no mistake, she is a child, despite her years. I'm sure her wish to help you is genuine enough, but I doubt that she has the skills or the patience to be a reliable ally."

"I didn't think I liked her at first, but she's growing on me. I wouldn't want her to get into trouble with Alechia over helping me. I can't think of anything she can do anyway, apart from letting me know any details about what Lukon will say when he makes his case, and I think we already know what most of what that will be."

"I think the first thing you need to do is go to see Balkan. He needs reminding, if indeed he has forgotten, just whose child this is and what a loss to the Guild it would be if Lukon were successful. You will need his permission to see the King, so it won't hurt to emphasise the Guild's interests here. I think you should do this as soon as possible. Lukon will already be making his plans, so there is no time to lose." Akkarin seemed more cheerful now that a course of action had been decided.

"I'll go and see him tomorrow," she said, getting up and going round the table to where he was sitting. She held out her hands and he rose to put his arms around her, and rest his cheek against her head.

"I am so happy to be with you again," she said quietly.

She felt his presence in her mind, but this time, there were no words, just an outpouring of emotion, which filled her with delight. She could never doubt again what she meant to him.

"I know I can't stay," she whispered, "But let me stay for a little while, quietly, like this."

He carried her over to the bed and they curled up together, finding comfort in the closeness of their bodies, in the sensation of arms, which held them tightly together, and the sound of their heartbeats. No words were necessary.

They lay unmoving for a long time, but at last, Akkarin stirred. "It's time you went back," he said, regret in his voice. "The longer you stay, the harder it is for me to let you go."

Sonea reached up to kiss him softly. "I know, it becomes harder for me too." Then she laughed, "I hope you will not expect me to wait another ten days to be with you again. By my reckoning, I am due to see you in three days and in three days I shall be here!"

She closed her eyes and when she opened them again, she was back in her bedchamber. Night had fallen and the Eye was shining through the window. She took that as a good omen.

_Good night Akkarin_, she sent. _I'll see you soon_.

_In three days!_ he replied, amusement in his tone.


	21. Confrontation

**Disclaimer – I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan**

Confrontation

Vinara felt decidedly uncomfortable and Sonea looked angry. _It is an unnecessary situation,_ Vinara thought, _I have no idea why Balkan insisted I be present_. She and Sonea were sitting in the guest room of the Residence, waiting for Balkan to call them into his study. Earlier, Vinara had been in her rooms when Balkan had contacted her.

_Vinara?_

_Yes, High Lord?_

_Sonea has asked to see me urgently. I would feel happier if you were present. Please come at once._

So Vinara had gone to the Residence and found Sonea already waiting. She had looked extremely annoyed when Vinara explained why she was there.

"What does he think I am going to do?" she had said, "Have hysterics in his study, attack him with black magic!"

"Hush, don't say things like that!" Vinara said, "You don't know who may be listening."

Sonea had shrugged and turned her head to study a nearby painting, ignoring Vinara completely. Only the loud ticking of a large clock disturbed the silence, which fell between them. Vinara sighed, _I'm too busy to waste time like this. Sonea is right, what does Balkan imagine she will do?_ Sonea got up and went closer to the painting. Watching her, Vinara wondered what she was feeling. The pregnancy was obvious now and it must be difficult for her to be in the place where her child's father had lived for so many years. The painting she was examining, for example, had been commissioned by Akkarin and Vinara wondered if Sonea knew that.

Many members of the Guild had reacted badly to news of Sonea's pregnancy and despite Balkan's insistence that nothing improper had occurred between the previous High Lord and his Novice, several magicians refused to believe it. Vinara had heard some quite nasty comments and there were rumours that some of the novices had placed bets on when the child would be born, hoping to prove that impropriety had taken place.

As far as Vinara knew, Sonea ignored any comments she may have overheard, but she had taken to staying in her rooms again, just like she had in the beginning. _Another four and a bit months before the child is born, who knows what the atmosphere here will be like by then._

At last, the servant came to take them to Balkan's study. He was seated behind his big desk as usual and barely looked up as they came in. He was looking closely at a ledger and it was several minutes before he closed it and looked up. He gestured for them to sit down, and looked at Sonea.

"What can I do for you, Sonea?" he asked.

"Why is Vinara here?" Sonea's tone was even, but there was a hint of barely hidden anger in it. "I asked to see you, not a group of Higher Magicians."

"Now, I don't think you can say that one other person besides myself makes a group. I am simply concerned about your health and thought it would be a good idea to have your Healer here." Balkan looked a little uneasy as he gave his reasons. As well he might, given that neither of his guests looked convinced by them.

"So, Sonea, what is it you want?"

She glanced down at her hands, then looked directly at him and said. "I have heard that family Delvon, House Velan are going to claim my child as their family lacks heirs. I want to know what you think about that and what you intend to do about it."

Balkan looked uncomfortable; he glanced at her, but avoided her eyes. "Well, Sonea, the law is clear, they are entitled to claim a child born to unmarried parents, when there is a lack of heirs. I am sure you know that."

"Especially when one of them is lowborn, yes, I do know that. However, there are special circumstances in this case. For a start I am a magician and a very strong magician; Vinara tells me my power is still increasing. There is a very good chance that the child will also be strong in power as both its parents are. Surely the Guild has an interest in keeping such a child here?"

Balkan finally looked at her directly, "The Guild does have an interest in your child, Sonea, and in you. We want to look after you both and make sure you have everything you need. The Guild lost many good magicians in the struggle against the Ichani, we need all the strong magicians we can find. You are particularly valuable to us with your knowledge of black magic. We will do everything in our power to protect your child."

"Somehow that doesn't sound like you will prevent the family taking my child." Sonea said slowly. "It sounds as if you have an arrangement in mind. Perhaps you would care to tell me what it is."

Balkan sighed, "Family Delvon, House Velan are powerful and they have friends in high places. I am sure they know the law very well indeed, and the law is very clear. However, the law also allows the Guild to take any child with magic once they are over the age of 13. If your child went to its father's family, it would only be for a short time. After a few years, the child would become a novice here. It's not as if you would never see your child again."

"By that time, my child would not be my child any more, but the heir of the Delvons. It would have nothing to do with me, I would not have bathed it, nor sung it to sleep, nor nursed it when it was ill. It would not be my child, I would simply have given birth to it." Sonea's voice was full of bitterness. "I see your plan, it is to trade my child to a powerful family to keep them happy and get whatever you can from their gratitude while planning to bring it into the Guild a few years later to benefit the magicians. What would you do if family Delvon, House Velan asked for the child's powers to be blocked?"

Balkan paled, "I am sure they would never ask such a thing."

Sonea smiled without humour, "Are you? They have already had experience of a strong magician in the family. Ask them what they feel about that. I don't think you would like their answer. What if my child is a girl? A female heir's value is in the marriage she makes and the children she has. How many noble Houses would marry their sons to a powerful magician, even if she were the heir of an important House? I don't think you have thought carefully enough, High Lord, about this matter."

Vinara sucked in her breath. _She is lacks respect for the High Lord. Does she think being the lover of one High Lord entitles her to speak to another like that? _She glanced at Balkan who seemed shaken by Sonea's cool judgement on his approach to the problem. _Go on, make her understand YOU lead here, not some lowborn with ideas above her station. What on earth did Akkarin see in her?_

"You raise an interesting point, Sonea," Balkan conceded. "I must give it careful thought and ensure that the Guild's best interests are served…..and yours too," he added hastily as he saw Sonea begin to frown.

"Thank you High Lord," she said. "There is one other thing. I wish to discuss this matter with the King and I request permission to arrange a meeting with him."

The High Lord looked surprised, "But the King will uphold the law – it's the King's Law, after all. He can't be seen to change it on a whim."

"Nevertheless, I wish to see him. Do you have any objections?"

Balkan shook his head, "I shall ask the Administrator to arrange a time with the King's Secretary. Of course, you realise that you run the risk of annoying the King if you do not take care with your words and actions?"

"Yes, I do. It is my child I am fighting for, I will do whatever is necessary to keep it with me. If that means treating the King with kid gloves, I will do it. Now, I am sure you are very busy. May I withdraw, High Lord?"

Sonea bowed formally and left, closing the door quietly behind her. Vinara heard Balkan exhale rather loudly.

"She is very certain of herself, isn't she?" Vinara shook her head in disbelief. "The way she speaks, it is as if she is High Lord here!"

Balkan pulled a face, "She is very difficult to deal with. She always has been. Look at the trouble she got in as a novice. Then there was all that fuss at the Hearing about following Akkarin into exile when we had gone to so much trouble to persuade the King that she should stay. There may come a time when her value as a Black Magician may not be enough to overcome the other difficulties she causes us." Balkan looked at Vinara, "I suppose her power is still increasing?"

Vinara nodded.

"Let's hope for her sake, that it continues to do so. It keeps her value to the Guild high."


	22. That Way Lies Madness

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan**

That Way Lies Madness

Rothen was mentally reviewing the lessons for his next day's classes as he walked towards the Library. There was a particular text he needed, but the exact name of it had momentarily escaped him. He turned a corner, still deep in thought and walked into someone who promptly dropped a large number of books. Rothen was surprised to find it was Sonea, who was bending awkwardly, trying to retrieve the books.

"I'm so sorry!" he said. "I wasn't looking where I was going." He bent down to help her pick up the books.

"Don't worry, Rothen, I don't think any of them are damaged. It's nice to see you again, it's been a while." Sonea took the last book from his hands and added to the pile next to her.

Rothen was pleased to have met up with Sonea as she had not been eating in the food hall or going to the Night Room for some time, and he had been concerned about her, especially with all the gossip, which had flared up again, since her pregnancy had been officially announced.

"Do you have any free time later today?" he asked. "I would love to have a nice long chat with you. Come to my rooms around tea time, I am sure I could arrange some nice, freshly baked scones or cakes."

Sonea smiled happily and nodded. "I've missed those lovely teas of yours," she said.

"I'll look forward to it!"

She arrived promptly at 4pm and they were soon munching and sipping tea. Sonea seemed happy to talk about her work with her new students and the Guild-wide search she was carrying out for any ancient books, which might be stuffed away in dark corners.

"I don't know how you can spend so much time pouring over old tomes. If the ones you dropped by the Library are typical, they don't look very interesting to me! Where on earth do you find them all?" Rothen asked.

She laughed, "You'd be surprised where some of them are hiding. I have been working my way through the cellars under the Library and there are thousands of books and documents down there. Most look as if they have not been touched for hundreds of years. Luckily my students seem particularly keen to wrestle with the problems of strange and very obscure language. I think they have a competition going on to see which of them can translate a page first."

They spent a few minutes discussing Sonea's work with her students and then moved on to talk about mutual friends. Dannyl was off on his travels again, but had written several witty letters to Rothen and he was happy to pass on some of the more interesting items to Sonea. Dorrien was mentioned but they didn't linger over him.

As she finished the last scone, Sonea sighed and said, "I expect you've heard some of the reactions to the news about my baby? A lot of people seem rather upset, although I can't think why they should be. It's a perfectly natural event, the only sad thing is that Akkarin will never hold his child."

He nodded, some of the gossip in the Night Room had been rather cruel and he had no intention of passing any of that on. It was a good thing that Sonea spent so little time in the communal areas of the Guild, as she probably missed the worst of it.

"How was the visit to Akkarin's family?" he asked. "Was it as bad as we thought?"

Sonea frowned, "It was horrible. They really are the most terrible people, they only seem to care about themselves. You've heard they intend to claim the child?"

Rothen nodded again, "Yes, most people seem to know. What are you going to do?"

"I've seen the High Lord and tried to persuade him that the child will have great magical potential and should remain in the Guild, rather than be sent away for a few years and then brought back again. I am not sure he was convinced, but I intend to see him again and keep chipping away at him until he can see what's at stake."

She drank a little more of her tea, "I'm also going to see the King. Balkan doesn't seem to think it will do much good, but Akkarin says he is our best hope…." Sonea's voice trailed off as she saw the horrified expression on Rothen's face. The colour drained from her face leaving it paper-white.

_Great Eye of Heaven, _he thought_, she is still talking as if Akkarin is alive! I must get her to understand._

He put down his glass, to reach over and take her hand. Her expression was strained and her eyes seemed unfocussed. "Sonea, do you realise what you are saying? You are speaking as if Akkarin were still here. You know he is not here, don't you? You know he is dead." Rothen spoke gently and kindly.

Sonea didn't say anything, her face even paler than before. He tried again.

"I know it's hard; you have been through so much and now there is the baby to think about, but you have got to stop thinking so much of Akkarin. He wouldn't want you to carry on this way."

"I'm sorry," she said at last, "It was just a slip of the tongue."

Rothen looked at her searchingly, but she wouldn't meet his gaze. He thought back to earlier conversations and remembered that she had used the present tense several times when speaking of Akkarin. Although it had been years since he had studied much about Healing, he vaguely remembered that bereaved people often heard their lost loved one speaking to them.

"Sonea, be truthful with me, have you heard Akkarin's voice in your head? Does he tell you to do certain things?" Rothen continued to hold her hand and tried to will her to look at him.

She remained silent for a few minutes, then looked at him directly. "I know what you are trying to say, Rothen. I do understand about grief, I've had so much of it recently, I regard it as an old friend. From the time of our exile until the battle at the Guild, Akkarin and I spent so much time alone together, we began to know each other's thoughts, to know what the other was going to say before words were spoken. Yes, I still have conversations with Akkarin in my head. It helps me think through problems. There is no-one else who understands."

Her explanation seemed reasonable and Rothen could understand how a young woman like Sonea, suddenly left alone to cope with the black magic problem as well as a baby which could be taken away from her, might think about what her older and wiser lover might recommend. But he wasn't happy about it.

"Are you sure there is no one who could help you?" he asked.

Sonea sighed bitterly, "You know what people here are saying about me, about Akkarin, about what we did. I have lived and studied here for years, but have not been accepted, just tolerated. Who are my friends here? Well, there's you, Dannyl when he's here, Dorrien, perhaps. Can you name any others? No! Balkan needs me to lead the Black Magicians, but he would prefer someone else. Vinara looks after my health, but I sometimes see traces of dislike in her face and hear it in her voice."

She got up and moved to the window and stared at the Residence for a few minutes. "I am a prisoner of the Guild. I cannot leave it without permission, I cannot practise black magic without permission, there is almost nothing I can do without permission."

She came back to her chair, before continuing, "Akkarin sacrificed everything for the Guild. He saved it. Now they talk about statues in public, while taking every opportunity in private to smear him, by spreading lies and insinuations. They use me to attack him. They say he was seduced by a lowborn slut and threw away all honour by sleeping with his Novice."

Her voice had become increasingly harsh during this speech and Rothen noticed tears beginning to form in her eyes. Colour had come back into her cheeks, as her anger grew.

"We weren't coming back to stay, you know. We had decided to accept exile and go far away and leave the Allied Lands to themselves. The two of us would have been perfectly happy. We didn't need anything else except to be together. Oh to be far away from the Guild, from Imardin, from Kyralia itself. I still want that, I want that more than anything."

Rothen didn't know what to say. He had spent almost all his life in the Guild, he had married a magician, raised a child, taught many of the magicians in the Guild today. To him, it was a benign organisation, which had looked after and nurtured him. He tried to see it from Sonea's point of view. She hadn't wanted to join and had a difficult time as a novice. Once she had become the High Lord's Novice, things had got worse rather than better. Then there was everything which followed from the discovery of Akkarin's secret work. He could see why she was bitter. _But all that anger_, he thought, _there is so much of it and I am worried what it will drive her to do._

"I'm sorry I brought you into the Guild and then could not help you properly," he said. "You don't know how much I regretted what happened to you."

"I sometimes wish I did not have magic," Sonea said, "My life before that Purge had been fine, I coped with it. My children would have been mine to keep. I would have been poor, uneducated perhaps, but I would have been free."

She looked at him, a sad expression on her face, "It's too late for that, now," she said, "I do have magic, I am here and I have work to do. I am just worried about losing my child and I must do everything I can to protect it. It helps me to talk to Akkarin. I am not mad, Rothen, you have to believe me."

He nodded, "I do believe you, but it's not healthy to dwell on the past. You must try to put things behind you and think of the future. I am not saying you must forget about the good things that have happened to you, but you have your whole life ahead of you."

_I haven't put that very well_, he thought. _I hope she understands_.

Sonea stood up, "I must go, there are things I have to do. Thank you for being a friend, Rothen. You won't tell anyone I talk to Akkarin, will you?" She seemed anxious and he was keen not to upset her further.

"No, of course not, but do try to think about what I said."

Rothen opened the door for her and she kissed him briefly on the cheek before disappearing down the corridor.

_I do hope I have done and said the right things_, he thought.


	23. A Prisoner of Love

**Disclaimer – I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan**

A Prisoner of Love

Sonea opened her eyes and looked around Akkarin's sitting room. He was not there, as she had expected, so she went to see if he were in the garden. She found him sitting by the fountain, watching some fish. He looked up as she sat next to him and smiled.

"Don't worry, Sonea, I think you persuaded Rothen your mention of talking to me was harmless enough. But, be warned, if you let it slip again, perhaps in other company, people will begin to suspect you are very ill. You cannot be truth-read, so there would be no way to prove what you say is the truth." He smiled. "I would find it hard to believe myself."

"I am usually so careful. I think because Rothen is a friend and I feel safe talking to him, I must have simply relaxed and spoke without thinking." She pulled a face, "I will make sure I am on my guard, whoever I'm talking to. If Balkan or Vinara ever suspected the truth, it would provide them with all the excuse they need to prevent me continuing with our work or having anything to do with our child."

He picked up her hand and briefly held it against his cheek. "It's good to see you again," he said, "It seems a long time since you were here, despite it only being three days. Still I did manage to work on that last book we read. There are a lot of very important details hidden away in what appear to be simple old legends. I think it's one of the earliest books you have found so far."

They went inside and spent a long time discussing the book and the secrets it was hiding. Sonea glanced over at him as he enthusiastically explained a particularly tricky section. _He looks so involved, so happy_, she thought, _I wouldn't miss this for the world_. _It's what was meant to be, a happy fulfilled life of study together. _

She suddenly noticed his voice had stopped and she saw he was looking at her quizzically, "You have a very soppy smile on your face, Sonea," he said.

"I was just thinking that this was what was meant to be, the two of us, a nice house and plenty of books to study. Who could ask for anything more?"

A shadow briefly crossed his face and Sonea suddenly realised what she'd said.

"Oh, Akkarin, I didn't mean that! I didn't mean it was wonderful that you are trapped here in my mind…a prisoner…."

"Hush," He took her face between his hands and kissed her gently. "I know what you mean." He kissed her again, and said softly, "Never forget that I am here because you tried everything you could to save me. You were exhausted after killing those Ichani, and could have simply let me go. I had already made the decision to give you all of my power, I knew what that meant and I was prepared for death. But you would not give me up that easily. That ember only had a few more seconds of life when you found it. Somehow you knew what to do and by enclosing it with your power, you stopped my death and brought me here. And that, above all, is the most marvellous thing, Sonea. Instinctively, your mind knew what to do with that spark and brought it here where I can live a proper life, eating good food, drinking wine, reading books and, the most wonderful thing of all, making love to you."

He held her tightly, his breath tickling her cheek as he whispered, "I am very grateful to you Sonea. You gave me back my life after I had made the decision to relinquish it. So, never, never think of me as a prisoner held captive here; think of me instead as the man who loves you and who will always be here waiting for you."

There was silence for a minute or two and then Sonea heard him laugh softly. "What?" she asked.

"I'm glad no one else can hear us," he said, "I spent years cultivating the image of a dispassionate, cold and remote High Lord, just to keep people away and to make them wary of me. If they had heard that conversation, they would know me for an emotional and sentimental man like any other, undone by a beautiful woman!"

Sonea joined in his laughter and they went back to studying the old book. Time passed quickly. They ate a meal and lingered over the selection of desserts, which, Sonea was pleased to note, included a dish of cherries. Akkarin settled back on the banquette with a glass of Anuran Dark and Sonea joined him, with her cup of tea.

"I'll be glad when the baby is born," she said, "I am beginning to get very tired of tea." She looked longingly at his wine. "I hope there will be plenty left, when I can drink wine again."

"There are other reasons to look forward to the birth of our baby," he said, his hand gently stroking the swelling curve of her stomach so that she felt again that tingling sensation he was so good at creating.

"I would like to go somewhere more comfortable," she murmured.

The large bed looked inviting with its crisp white sheets and soft pillows. They wasted no time in shrugging out of their clothes and sliding under the covers and into each other's arms. They lay quietly for a time and Sonea thought back over the conversation they had just had. She laughed softly to herself.

"I rather liked that dispassionate, cold and remote High Lord," she said. "I fell in love with him, without realising it. There was something mysterious and powerful about that tall, dark brooding figure. The attraction was irresistible. Perhaps you weren't as successful as you thought in keeping people away from you!"

"Well it seemed to work until you came to live in the Residence! Perhaps it was just you, Sonea, who liked him."

"Oh no, I don't think so. I used to hear the novices giggling over how they felt about you. They talked about how handsome you were and what it would be like to kiss you; or whether any of them stood a chance of being asked to dinner. At first I thought they were all strange with very odd tastes in men, but I soon came to understand what they meant." She smiled. "It didn't take me long to wonder what you would be like under all that black silk or to think what it would feel like to lie, like this, naked in your arms."

"You hid your feelings well, Sonea. All I saw was fear and dislike. I had no idea you even liked me! All the while, I was beginning to like you very much, very much indeed."

"What would have happened, if no one had found out about the black magic and we had simply continued as we were? Would we have discovered what we felt for each other or would we have just gone on, trapped in our own patterns of behaviour?"

"I can't speak for you," Akkarin said slowly, "But I would never have knowingly let you discover how I felt. Those things I said to you in that cave were true; I am much older than you, I was your guardian, I was there to protect, not take advantage of you."

Sonea was quiet for a while then said, "I am not sure I would have gone on doing nothing, once I realised I loved you. We dwells tend to be direct people; we don't have all that training in subterfuge that you nobles have. I would probably have sneaked into your bedchamber one night and slipped into your bed. What would you have done, I wonder? Screamed for Takan, perhaps!" she laughed.

"I would probably have done this!" He kissed her fiercely and she felt the sharp darts of desire shoot through her body. "And this!" His kisses followed the line of her neck down to the pulse beating in her throat where his mouth lingered, while his hands caressed her body. "**Then **I would have probably screamed for Takan!"

They both laughed and Sonea raised herself on one elbow to look at him closely. Her fingers traced the shape of his face, the high cheek bones, the straight nose and the curve of his lips, they moved down his neck, brushing his hair away, until she found the pulse in his throat. She bent her head to copy his kiss and felt his flesh quiver beneath her mouth.

She continued to make fluttering kisses down his body, feeling him in her mind radiating intense pleasure and sharp desire, his flesh marking her progress with tiny quivering motions. His breathing quickened as her tongue began to trace spirals along his ribs. He rolled her over and began kissing her again while his hands continued their exploration. Before long they were both caught up in the current of pleasure which surged through them until it reached its conclusion, leaving them, once again, breathless but at peace.

Akkarin looked deeply into her eyes, "I would have found it very difficult to conceal my feelings from you, the longer it went on, especially if I had begun to think you might have feelings for me."

"I don't think I could have kept my distance from you once I realised what you felt," Sonea said. "Nothing would have made any difference, age, guardian, black magic, nothing would have stopped me."

He nodded, "So to answer your earlier question, it seems we would not have simply carried on as before. Eventually things would have changed. If that secret had been discovered, we would have faced the wrath of the Guild. Their mildest punishment would have been separation. You don't want to know what the other punishments might have been.

Sonea smiled wickedly, "Well, it seems either black magic or love would have got us into trouble with the Guild, sooner or later. There's no avoiding fate!"

They lay quietly again, putting off the moment when Sonea would have to get dressed and go back to her own rooms. It would be another ten days before they could be together again. She dressed swiftly and Akkarin took her in his arms for one last kiss. She closed her eyes and opened them to find herself in her rooms.

She thought about everything they had said. So much was clearer than it had been before. Despite the restrictions, Akkarin was happy in his new life and he didn't blame her for what had happened. Despite everything that had taken place, and all the losses that had occurred, they had managed to keep hold of each other. They had a future together, perhaps not the one they might have imagined, but a future nevertheless.

She felt truly at peace for the first time since the battle.

_Good night, my darling_, she sent, _I'll talk to you tomorrow_.

_Sleep well and pleasant dreams,_ he responded.


	24. The King's Desires

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan**

**I have made a few minor revisions to make it read better.**

The King's Desires

He looked in the mirror briefly and nodded to the servant. The clothes he had chosen, he felt, were just right for the occasion, not too formal, yet still impressive enough to belong to a king. Merin looked at the rich colours and decided they were exactly the right shade to enhance his hair and eye colour. _You can't be too careful_, he thought, _when you want to make an impression_.

He wasn't particularly looking forward to the meeting with Black Magician Sonea. The Guild Administrator had not been very specific about the reasons for the appointment, but said it had something to do with Sonea's child. Merin had a meeting arranged with family Delvon, House Velan on a similar subject for later in the week. _That's all I want at the moment,_ he thought_, an argument between one of the important Houses on the one hand and a Black Magician on the other._

Merin sat down and reached for a glass of wine. He thought back to the day that High Lord Balkan had told him that Sonea was expecting a child in a few months. It had been quite a blow.

"You may not have heard, Your Majesty," Balkan had said, "But Black Magician Sonea is pregnant and claims that High Lord Akkarin is the father of her child."

Merin must have looked quite shocked, because Balkan went on, "We were all shocked, of course. There was never any hint of any relationship between them except the normal one of Guardian and Novice. Black Magician Sonea assured me that their relationship did not start until they were in Sachaka during their exile. Certainly, the date for the birth confirmed by Lady Vinara seems to support that timing."

Merin had made some sort of comment, but he couldn't remember now exactly what it was. He couldn't wait for the High Lord to leave, so he could think about the news he'd heard. Luckily, Balkan had finished most of his business and took his leave a short while later. Merin had sent his Secretary and Advisors away and shut himself in his study with a very large bottle of wine and a glass.

Then, as now, he couldn't believe that Akkarin, of all people, had formed a relationship with such a young girl and a dwell at that. In all the time Merin had known him, Akkarin had showed very little interest in women. He had been more of a man's man, spending most of his free time with a group of other nobles, and magicians, discussing and practising warrior skills and taking part in tournaments and mock battles.

Merin had always looked up to his favourite companion, who was so much better at swordplay and fighting than the young Prince. Akkarin had tried to teach him the best swordplay tricks and had been quite successful in helping Merin improve his skills. He had always been willing to spend time explaining things and demonstrating the right moves, never becoming impatient. So different in his approach to the Prince's own Swordmaster who was forever shouting at Merin and making him feel like a fool when he got things wrong.

The King gulped down another glass of wine, still thinking of that time when he and his companions had been young, not quite men yet, but no longer boys. Akkarin had been the natural leader of the group and Merin had not minded being ordered about despite being the Crown Prince.

Merin couldn't quite remember when he had fallen in love with Akkarin, it seemed as if he had always loved him, but somehow that boyish love had slowly transformed itself in to a physical longing, which grew stronger as time went on. By the time he was sixteen, Merin was hopelessly smitten. He was only really happy in Akkarin's company and could have spent hours simply gazing at him, but of course, he couldn't. He had to keep a strong control over his reactions in case his father found out. Merin's father had very strong views about lads and their behaviour. To his distress, Akkarin didn't seem to notice that Merin had changed. He simply went on being a good friend, who always had time to help the Prince.

_But there was that one time_, Merin remembered, _when I kissed him full on the mouth_.

They had been out in the Palace grounds, practising ambush and capture skills. Merin had hidden in a tree, waiting for his target and when Akkarin came down the path, Merin had jumped down on top of him. They had both gone rolling into some undergrowth and somehow, Akkarin had ended up underneath the Prince. Merin found himself staring into his laughing face and, in a moment of madness, bent down and kissed him, letting his mouth linger, as Akkarin became very still.

Almost seventeen years later, Merin could still feel the hot flush, which had engulfed him when he realised that there was no response from the lips beneath his own, nor any other movement from the loose-limbed figure he was pressed so tightly against. He had got up quickly and they had made some silly joking remarks, but Merin remembered the look, which had so briefly crossed Akkarin's face, a look of revulsion.

Neither of them ever mentioned the incident again and subsequently, Merin took care never to be in such close proximity to his friend. Soon afterwards, Merin had married and as Akkarin's increasingly demanding studies at the Guild meant his free time was considerably reduced, they spent less time together.

After Akkarin became High Lord and they met regularly, Merin was able to recapture that strong friendship they had shared as boys and young men. They worked well as a team, the High Lord ensuring that the King was fully involved in Guild matters which affected the Kingdom. Merin, for his part, found it very useful to have another loyal advisor who would offer clear and objective advice. It had been an enjoyable time for the King, who found most of his Advisors and Councillors rather fussy, boring old men, whereas Akkarin was young, witty and made time pass very agreeably.

So, on the surface, they were two old friends who now occupied important positions of power, and who worked well together for the common good. Underneath, Merin felt hidden tensions in their relationship. He found himself more in love than ever, longing to reach out and touch the object of his desires, to kiss him, to release Akkarin from the silken folds of his robes to reveal the beauty of the warrior's body hidden beneath. Merin knew it was not possible. If he were ever tempted, he only had to remember that look on Akkarin's face after the kiss.

When the news of Akkarin's involvement with black magic had become known, Merin had known such rage that he wanted to find the cruellest way he could think of to put him to death. He took pleasure in anticipating the enduring pain of the most exquisite tortures possible. If someone had given him a knife and put him in the same room as the High Lord, Merin would have relished stabbing every part of that body he had desired so much for so long.

But Kings could not indulge their own personal rage, so Merin had done the next best thing, he had sent the man he loved so hopelessly and who had betrayed him into an exile which would lead to his death at the hands of others. Later, when it was proved beyond doubt that Akkarin had not betrayed the Guild, the King or the country, Merin had felt so utterly guilty, that had he a son of his own, he would have given up the throne and gone far away from Kyralia. He shut himself away from his Queen and the Court and wept for what he had done.

_That was a very low point_, he thought. _I did not think that anything could make me feel worse than I did then. But I was wrong. Akkarin came back and saved us all, sacrificing his own life to defeat the Black Magicians who intended to capture my Kingdom._

He had spent a long time alone with the body of his friend. Akkarin's pale face looked peaceful in death, and Merin was overcome with guilt and misery. He had begged Akkarin's forgiveness and hung a valuable jewel around his neck in recognition of his service to Kyralia. He had wept for a death, which need not have occurred if only he had trusted Akkarin, as he deserved to be trusted. Finally, he had kissed those lips, just as he had done all those years before, and this time, he could make himself believe that Akkarin had smiled.


	25. Twisting the Knife

**Disclaimer – I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan**

Twisting the Knife

The guard watched the black-clad figure as she paced around the room, robes rustling noisily. He had not seen a black magician before, and was understandably wary of upsetting her. She had arrived some minutes early for her meeting with the King but had refused all offers of refreshments or a comfortable chair, preferring to take some exercise. The guard felt obliged to watch her progress, just in case she did something, although he felt powerless to deal with her. _I hope the King sends for her soon_, he thought.

Sonea was quite nervous, which surprised her. _I have faced black magicians, why should_ _I feel this way over meeting the King?_ she pondered. But there was no doubt, her heart was racing, her mouth felt dry and she was unable to settle. She must have walked around the room half a dozen times already, but sitting for the moment was beyond her. She noticed the wary looks the King's Guard was giving her and smiled to herself. _There's nothing like black robes and a reputation for black magic to unsettle a person!_

At last she heard a door opening and looked across to see the King's Secretary beckoning her. She took a deep breath and marched over to him. He led her into the King's study and then left, closing the door behind him. The King was seated at a large desk and looked up as she made her formal bow. Something flickered across his face as he looked at her and noticed the growing evidence of her pregnancy.

"Good afternoon, Black Magician Sonea," he said. "Welcome, please sit down."

She took the chair he indicated and gazed at Merin. The last time she had seen him was soon after she had awoken in Rothen's spare room. She remembered how tired he had looked as he thanked her for helping Akkarin destroy the invading Ichani. She still had the jewel he had given her pushed at the back of a drawer somewhere. She had never wanted to wear it.

She thought the King didn't look much better than the last time they had met. He had never been what might be regarded as a handsome man, his pale colouring and pale eyes tended to make him look rather ordinary, but his features were pleasant enough. However, he did not look in the best of health. His face was pale and there were dark rings under his eyes. She noticed he was reluctant to meet her gaze, and constantly looked at the various items on his desk as he was addressing her.

"Administrator Osen did not give me any details of why you wanted to see me, Lady Sonea," the King said formally. "However, as family Delvon, House Velan also wish to see me urgently, I assume it has something to do with your child."

"Yes, Your Majesty, I expect High Lord Balkan informed you of my situation. I thought it was important to see you myself, in case you had any particular questions." Sonea was equally formal in her response.

"Er, yes, the High Lord did tell me. You say that High Lord Akkarin is the father of your child?" Merin glanced at her, and quickly looked away. "You must understand that this was surprising news as there had been no indication that you and High Lord Akkarin had….er….were….." His voice trailed away.

Sonea sighed inwardly, _This is not going to be easy_, she thought. She explained to the King how her relationship with Akkarin had started during their exile and continued once they had returned to Imardin. She told him about their promise to marry and that she now regarded herself as bound by that promise.

The King seemed to consider this information for a long time, before he looked up and into her face for the first time. His face was expressionless as he began to speak.

"Lady Sonea, at the moment there is no evidence proving the identity of the father of your child, the only thing we have is your word. Unfortunately, High Lord Akkarin is dead and cannot confirm your claim. Neither did he leave any evidence that you and he were….er…..intimate. I have known Lord Akkarin since we were children and there is absolutely nothing to indicate that he was even interested in women."

Sonea was taken by surprise. Of all the arguments she expected the King to make, this was not one of them. _How can he doubt what I say?_ she wondered.

She thought for a moment, then said, "During the time he was High Lord whilst at the same time single-handedly dealing with the threat from the Ichani, he had no time for dalliance or relationships with women. However, when two people are sent into exile in a dangerous land with no money and no possessions and only themselves to rely on, it is hardly surprising that an intimate relationship develops."

Merin's face coloured, "I wasn't suggesting it did not happen, Lady Sonea, only that there is no proof," he said stiffly. "High Lord Akkarin's family accept that he is the father."

_He still feels guilty about sending us into exile_, she thought. _I wonder if that will weigh heavily on his conscience when he has to make a judgement._

She nodded, "Of course, Your Majesty."

"That brings me to the next point," Merin went on, "I am sure you are familiar with the law regarding the children born outside marriage to sons of noble houses and women of a different social class. Your situation seems perfectly clear. You are not married to the father of your child and his House lacks heirs in the next generation. The law provides for House Velan to take your child and raise it as their heir. Your child would have all the wealth and power due to the heir of a noble House, as well as the best education possible. Many mothers would be grateful for such an opportunity for their child."

"I am familiar with the law, Your Majesty, but I think there are special circumstances which ought to be taken into consideration when you come to make your decision. Firstly, it was only his death which prevented High Lord Akkarin from keeping his promise to marry me. Secondly, our child has two very strong magicians for parents and High Lord Balkan expects it to have strong magical powers also. The best place for a child with strong powers is in the Guild where it can be guided and trained to control its power properly." She paused for a moment, thinking how best to put her next point.

"Finally, the Guild and the Crown owes a huge debt to High Lord Akkarin and, to a lesser extent, to me. We were unjustly treated at the Hearing and wrongly sent into exile. It was plain that both you and the Guild expected that we would not survive in Sachaka. All of High Lord Akkarin's long and loyal service was dismissed without consideration and his reasons discounted and ignored. Yet he did not waver in his determination to protect the Guild and his King. We did not have to come back, Your Majesty, but we did and High Lord Akkarin died so that you could be safe."

Sonea had gazed directly at Merin during the last part of her speech and noted the way colour came and went on his face. The King looked very uncomfortable and when she mentioned that Akkarin had died for him, the guilt was plain to see. _Twist the knife, a little_, she thought.

"High Lord Akkarin was always loyal to you, Your Majesty, despite what you did. He always talked about you kindly even when we were trying to stay alive in Sachaka. He would have married me if he had survived. As you know, he was an honourable man who always kept his promises. He would want me to raise our child, rather than to send it into a home where he had been unhappy as a boy."

Sonea stopped speaking. There was no more to be said now, the rest must wait until the day she faced Lord Lukon and his family in Court.

She watched the King. He was very pale, apart from two dull red patches on his cheeks. He could not meet her eyes, but started moving things around his desk. It seemed that he had nothing more to say, because very shortly he rose to his feet and held out his hand for her to kiss.

"Thank you for coming, Lady Sonea," he said, "I shall think very carefully about what you have said to me. I will also hear what Lord Lukon has to say. Both of you will have a chance to put your case to me when the matter comes before my Court."

Sonea closed the study door and let out a sigh of relief. _Thank goodness that's over_, she thought, _Now all I have to do is wait for the official court case_.


	26. Dilemma

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan**

Dilemma

As the door closed behind Sonea, Merin sank back in his chair. The meeting had been as unsettling as he had feared. She had made him feel very uncomfortable, both in the words she had spoken and in the pregnancy she flaunted. He tried to think what it was about her which might have drawn Akkarin's attention.

_She's not particularly tall and I would not call her beautiful_, he thought. Sonea had the pale skin and dark hair typical of many Kyralians. Her face was oval, dominated, Merin had to agree, by a fine pair of large, slightly almond-shaped dark eyes. _But there are many people in Imardin with similar features. Why would she be the one Akkarin chose to love?_

Although he had suggested that the father of her child could have been anyone, Merin was sure it was Akkarin's. He had only said there was no proof to see what she would do. It hadn't upset her; she had simply reminded him of why they were thrown together, completely abandoned by the whole of Kyralia. Did she know how much it hurt to hear her talk about the exile?

"I wish to heaven the Guild had not involved me!" he said loudly and banged his fist down heavily on the desk. He froze for a moment, worried that his Secretary might hear and rush in to see what was the matter, but nothing happened.

He went back to thinking about Sonea. She was young, he knew, barely twenty, yet she had the poise of a much older woman. _Akkarin would probably like that_, he thought, _he never liked those silly little giggling girls from the Houses. _Merin got up and grabbed a bottle of Anuren Dark and a glass from the side table. He was drinking too much, he knew, and had been ever since this whole mess had started, but he needed something to help him cope and wine seemed to be the only answer.

He slumped in his chair and filled the glass to its brim. He swallowed the glassful and poured another. _Ah, Akkarin, if only you hadn't died. You would have forgiven me and we would have been friends again. _He could feel himself getting tearful and suddenly remembered that awful night when Lorlen had come to see him and he had drunk too much and talked too much. For days afterwards, he had wondered if Lorlen had realised what he truly felt about Akkarin. Lorlen had never given any sign, though, so Merin had gradually relaxed, believing his secret safe.

If he took to drinking like this, though, there was a chance he would do something like that again, perhaps saying too much to his Secretary or, even worse, his Queen. _Oh yes, my Queen,_ he thought. _We've been married all these years and she has never questioned why I rarely come to her bedchamber._

He remembered the day his father had told him he was to marry the Lady Jinevra, the eldest daughter of the most important House in Kyralia, next to the Royal House. He had been just sixteen, and she barely fourteen. He didn't know her well, they'd met once or twice, and she hadn't impressed him. She was tiny, with fine dark hair and eyes and a rosebud mouth. She barely said a word to him and he wondered how he was going to spend the rest of his life with her, and even worse, how he was going to get an heir on her.

His father had been very pleased with the match; he'd been trying to get an alliance with Jinevra's family for some time. Merin never argued with his father so he had pretended equal pleasure. He had played the happy bridegroom and only the sight of Akkarin at his wedding had caused his mask to slip.

Later, sitting in the great bed, Jinevra by his side, he had wondered if he could make himself do what was necessary. He looked at her and caught her staring back at him, her face white and the hint of tears in her eyes. He suddenly felt sorry for her and had played the big brother, cuddling her and drying her tears and they had eventually fallen asleep. She had been grateful, thinking perhaps that he had held back out of concern for her. He had managed to keep up that pretence for the Five Days Festival that newly married couples traditionally spent alone.

But, of course, it couldn't last and Merin knew he would have to do his duty. He had drunk some wine, well, to be honest about it, a lot of wine, and went to their bedchamber. He had looked at her dark hair and dark eyes and then closed his own eyes, picturing instead that other dark-haired, dark-eyed person he loved. It seemed to work and duty done, he left Jinevra alone for several weeks, hoping against hope that he had done enough to produce a child.

_Things like that only happen in stories_, he thought ruefully. Of course, once was not enough, and soon his father began asking questions. For the first year or two of their marriage, the pattern repeated itself. Pressure from his father would drive Merin back to the bedchamber for a night or two, then he would abandon his wife for as long as he could, until his father started on again.

_What did Jinevra think about it all_? Merin didn't really know. She was dutiful in public, knowing exactly the right thing to do at all times and his parents loved her. In private, they barely talked. _I had no real idea of what sort of a person she was or what she was thinking. _

The years passed and no child came. His father stopped asking questions, turning instead to Merin's much younger brother, Denyl. He married the boy off and within a few months of marriage, Denyl's wife was pregnant. _So the Kingdom had an heir, my father stopped asking questions and I stopped sharing Jinevra's bed._

Merin drank down another glass of wine. _Perhaps it was not having children, which turned her into such a sharp-tongued woman,_ he thought. That early reluctance to speak had disappeared and now Jinevra was happy to give him her opinion on everything under the sun. She was not above using her sharp tongue to remind him of his many failings. He dreaded hearing her voice coming down the corridor as she made her way to their dining room. He knew that meal times would be dominated by her opinions and he was reluctant to argue and risk a tongue-lashing.

_Look at you,_ he thought bitterly, _You are a King afraid of his wife who is so tiny, people mistake her for a child. You drink to try to forget you killed the only person in the world you can ever love. You are afraid of making a decision about who should raise his child because you fear the Black Magician and what she will do. You are wary of family Delvon, House Velan and the trouble they may stir up among the Houses. Your only answer is to drink more and more of __**his **__favourite wine until you are maudlin and can weep._

Merin flung the glass into the fireplace, following it with the wine bottle, which made a satisfying crash. The remains of the wine splashed out, sprinkling drops of the blood red liquid over the cream carpet. The door opened and his Secretary hurried in, wondering what was happening.

"Get out!" Merin screamed. "Get out! I don't want to be disturbed. And fetch me more wine!"


	27. Set a Thief to Catch a Thief

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan**

Set a Thief to Catch a Thief

"This is getting serious! Something has to be done and done quickly."

Cery glared round at the people sitting round the table. They were his trusted subordinates, people who controlled the teams which worked for Cery in his "patch" of the city. The men shuffled a bit and failed to meet his eye. Cery continued to stare and finally one of them decided to speak up.

"Look Cery, we did everything we had decided on. Patrols went out every night and we sent men round to talk to the witnesses. We collected every scrap of information possible in the hope that we could discover a pattern. But it didn't work. We were staking out buildings only to find that something was happening in another street, or another part of the neighbourhood. You can't blame us."

Cery thought for a moment. What Shappo had said was absolutely correct. They had decided on a plan and his men had been following it for the past two weeks. It was a bit unreasonable to blame them if their quarry had been cleverer than they thought.

"Yes, that's true, Shappo," he said. "We thought we'd got them fair and square, it just didn't happen."

The mysterious hooded figures they had first heard about several weeks ago had been sighted more regularly in the past month. They seemed to know exactly where to go to get the things they needed. Cery had had two of his stores broken into recently and things stolen. Whoever these people were, they were clever enough not to take large quantities, which would be easily missed. _No, they were better than that, they only took a few items at a time, spreading out what was left to hide the gaps, _Cery thought. _If we hadn't been checking things carefully, we would never have known. _

"Did you get a list of what was missing from that last store?" he asked.

Fergil pulled a dog-eared scrap of paper from his pocket. "As far as we can tell, they took some clothing – a few pairs of trousers and some shirts, a waterproof cloak and some boots. There were also some hams and a couple of cheese wheels missing when we checked the food stores. Oh, and a whole case of wine went as well. I think that's all." Fergil carefully folded his paper and put it away.

Cery mentally added up the cost. _No too bad_, he thought, _as long as it doesn't become a regular thing. _ "It definitely ties in with the traces we've found of people living rough in the tunnels. That's the sort of stuff they'd need to keep themselves warm and fed. Any progress on where they've been hiding recently?"

His subordinates shook their heads. "We've been sending out scouts every day to see if we can pin 'em down, but no luck so far." Delvin pulled a face, "We've even been in the deep sewers but nothin' showed up."

"So that was what the smell was!" someone called out, to gales of laughter.

"You wouldn't think it was funny if you heard what my woman said when I got home!" Delvin glowered at his grinning friends.

Cery banged the table to bring them back to the reason for the meeting.

"I can live with the loss of a few hams and the occasional shirt, but it's what happened two nights ago which worries me." Cery glanced round to make sure he had everyone's attention. "Last week, I sent Gol to one of my secure hiding places – some rooms near the edge of my area. No one knows it's there, and it's not the sort of place you would find by accident. Gol found evidence that someone had been living in the rooms for some time. The bedding was soiled, there were bloodstained cloths bundled in a corner and all the food and drink had gone. He said that whoever had been living there was long gone – but it looked as if they'd lived there for a couple of weeks or more. I don't have to tell you how uneasy that makes me feel."

The others nodded and murmured amongst themselves. Cery was very touchy about his hiding places. Even they didn't know how many exactly he had.

"I have no proof that these people are the same people who are now living in the tunnels, but somehow, I feel there is a connection. I want everyone to concentrate on finding these people, forget your other jobs, I want total commitment until they are found."

They spent some time discussing options and fleshing out a new plan, before Cery sent them off to get on with things. He felt on edge, almost as if someone was trying to move into his patch. He had spent a lot of time carefully building up his area of influence and had just got things to a point where it was all working smoothly. _The last thing I want is for word to get out about this, it will look as if I am losing my grip! _

Several days passed and it seemed Cery was no nearer to finding answers. He had taken to going out with a small group of his men as he found sitting around waiting for news to be even worse than spending half the night in cramped and often smelly places, watching certain buildings or trailing through dark, dirty tunnels. It was the fourth night before he got some definite information. Shappo's team had been operating in a small neighbourhood at the far corner of Cery's area. There had been reports of petty thefts from some of the shops in a narrow lane, again mainly of food and other household items. There seemed to be a pattern developing where the thieves would strike an hour or two after midnight, take their spoils and vanish quickly.

Cery found himself squeezed into a small space half-way along the lane. Shappo and his men were spread out nearby. Now all they had to do was wait. It was an unpleasant night, cold and with a steady drizzle of rain which seemed to find every opening, no matter how small in Cery's clothing. His hood was already sodden and there were trickles of water down one side of his neck. _You're getting soft_, he thought, _too fond of warm rooms and good living! _He moved slightly to ease the beginnings of cramp in his left leg.

All at once, he was aware of a slight noise in the lane, a sort of shuffling sound, quickly suppressed. He peered down towards the shops. The rain was falling more heavily now, and it was difficult to see clearly, but he could just make out a dark shape moving slowly some distance away. There seemed to be other shapes, but Cery couldn't be sure.

Just as they had agreed, no one made any move to interfere. They hoped to corner the thieves inside a shop, where it would be easier to prevent them escaping, rather than the open street. Cery heard the sound of a door being forced, so it seemed the thieves had selected their target for that night.

Someone sneezed rather loudly and Cery saw one of the shapes freeze by the door. He seemed ready to fly, so there was no further point in trying to creep up on him.

"Get him!" Cery shouted as he sprang out of his hiding place. Suddenly someone lit a lantern and Cery could clearly see two figures close to the shop door. They were covered in heavy, dark cloaks with the hoods pulled down, so it was not possible to see their faces. The shorter of the two figures pulled his companion quickly away from the light and both started to run towards the place where the narrow lane turned a corner, the taller figure appearing to have difficulty moving as quickly as his fellow thief.

As Cery and his men rushed towards the bend, the two thieves disappeared behind a building, as they did so, the smaller figure turned to look behind him. Cery only caught a brief glimpse of his face, before he turned again and both shapes vanished.

By the time the pursuers arrived at the building, there was no one in sight. Cery and his men searched the area thoroughly, but couldn't find a single trace of the two men.

Cery almost howled in frustration_. So close_, he thought, _we almost had them_. He stopped suddenly, thinking back to the moment when one of the figures had turned.

_There was something familiar about him_, Cery thought. _I can't help thinking I've seen him before somewhere._


	28. Concealing Her Thoughts

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters – they belong to Trudi Canavan**

Concealing Her Thoughts

Sonea blew on her hot tea and then took a sip. Khara strongly believed that tea was calming and Sonea hoped she was right. _Two days since I saw the King and I am still feeling agitated. _She wasn't used to finding it difficult to concentrate on her work, but bits and pieces of her conversation with Merin kept popping into her mind at the most inconvenient times. Even mental conversations with Akkarin had failed to put her mind at rest.

The longer she thought about it, the more she was convinced that the King would give her child to Akkarin's family. She had said as much to Rothen when she saw him the day after her visit to the Palace. He had tried to offer a different interpretation by emphasising that she was now much more in the eyes of the world than simply a lowborn woman, but Sonea was not convinced.

She took another sip, this was her fourth cup of tea today and so far, its calming influence had not been felt.

_Sonea, it will not help to keep going round and round in circles. _Akkarin's presence gave off a faint sense of frustration. _You must try to relax a bit more and think more rationally._

_I know, I know,_ she sent, _but my mind seems to have ideas of its own and won't give up!_

The Guardianship Hearing had been set for next week. It would be held at the Palace, in front of the King and his Advisors and the proceedings were quite simple. Family Delvon, House Velan would present their case for assuming guardianship of her child and she would have an opportunity to put her reasons for keeping the child with her. Having heard both sides, the King would make a decision. Once that decision was made, nothing could change it. If he decided against her, she would never see her child again, except at a distance if it were shown to have magic and joined the Guild.

_I do not trust Merin_, she sent. _I can't get the look on his face when he sentenced us to exile out of my mind. He hated us. He hated you even more. He looked as if he could have executed you on the spot.._

Akkarin was silent. They had had this discussion several times in the last couple of days and nothing she could say would persuade Akkarin that perhaps Merin was no longer his friend. She sighed. Having one's lover permanently in one's mind was a wonderful thing, but there were times when she wished she could switch him off and keep her thoughts to herself.

_I am sorry_, Akkarin said stiffly, _I wish I didn't have to listen all the time either. I do try to tune you out, but your thoughts are very loud._

Sonea smiled to herself. _I never imagined a situation like this, where you are always present in my mind. It must be strange for you too, to see the world only through my eyes. It is going to take us a long time to get used to it._ _ I will try to think more quietly! There are times, though, when I wish I could hear what __**you **__are thinking._

She sensed his amusement, but he didn't say anything more. She went back to the tea, but it had cooled and was no longer as pleasant to drink. She put the cup down, feeling too lazy to get up and make some more. She went back to considering how she might control her thoughts better, so that she could have some privacy.

There was something at the back of her mind, which might help, if only she could remember it. She thought hard for a moment then it suddenly hit her, _Of course! That time when Akkarin first truth-read me and I tried to resist him._

She remembered bombarding him with stray thoughts from the whole of her life before that moment and she remembered his annoyance as she kept him at bay for a few moments. _I wonder if I could learn to concentrate on something to obscure my thoughts, leaving me free to think without being overheard?_

_Akkarin? Do you think that might be possible?_

_It would be worth trying, but try to pick something pleasant, rather than that terrible stuff you tried before. _She heard his laughter and joined in.

They spent some time experimenting with various techniques. In the end, it seemed that if Sonea thought about loudly flowing water like a waterfall, Akkarin found it very difficult to hear her thoughts. They practised for a while, until Sonea could hold that image comfortably while thinking of other things in another part of her mind.

_Good, I'm going to try it now_.

She made herself comfortable and created an image of a magnificent waterfall, whose water fell loudly in torrents. Pushing it to the front of her mind, she left it and went back to thinking about her situation.

What she had said to Akkarin was true; having the man she loved in her mind was wonderful. He was always there to talk to her, to listen to her problems and help her resolve them. _But what is it like for him? _she thought. _He is completely trapped, unable to move beyond his apartment and gardens. He told me he doesn't mind, that he is grateful I gave him back his life, but is that really true? If I hadn't collapsed, I could have healed his wounds and put that spark back in his body. Even if my power was depleted, I could have kept him alive until the Healers got there. It is my fault that he is trapped where he is!_

She had never thought of things in this way before. She could see it so clearly, how it **should** have happened. Instead she had passed out and remained unconscious for such a long time that they had taken his body and buried it and now there was no chance of putting the spark back.

Sonea could feel tears filling her eyes as she thought of what could have been_. I could have saved him totally, instead of half doing the job. He would have been free to love me and marry me or leave me. Now he cannot leave and I will never know if he stops loving me._

Her tears spilled over as Sonea became more upset. _I suppose he will never grow old, but what about me? How will he feel when I am white haired and wrinkled? What can I do? There must be an answer!_

_Sonea? What's the matter, I can't hear your thoughts, but I can sense your distress_.

Sonea hurriedly wiped her eyes and tried to control her emotions. She didn't want him to know what she was thinking about. _I'm just thinking about the baby_, she lied. _It's all right_.

What she needed was another body. _There must be a way to transfer the spark from my mind to another body._ It sounded such a simple solution, but of course it was not. _I would need a body which was vacant, and that would be very difficult to arrange, short of murder! Then there is the question of what sort of body, what age and what physical characteristics. How would Akkarin feel if he looked in a mirror and saw a plump, blond, blue-eyed person looking back?_

The more she thought about it, the more impossible it sounded. _Akkarin is much cleverer than me, and he must have thought about it too. If it were possible, he would have said something._

Her melancholy thoughts made her feel lost and vulnerable. She feared what might happen in the future. She felt so lonely and longed to feel his arms around her. She must break the rules, _Akkarin, please, please may I see you for just five minutes? I need you._

_Five minutes!_

She closed her eyes and went in search of him. He was waiting in the room and it took only three little steps for her to reach him. He drew her into his arms and she stood still for a moment, her head on his chest, then she looked up and pulled his face down to hers for a long passionate kiss. _I missed you_, she sent. _I'm sorry I broke the rules, but I needed to hold you, just for a minute._

He smiled gently at her. _Words are all right, but kisses are better_. He kissed her again and she felt his tongue trace the shape of her lips. She held him even closer to her and began to feel her sadness lift. She put her hand up to his cheek and rested it there a moment, before covering his mouth with hers for one last kiss.

_Your five minutes are up_, he sent.


	29. The Night Before

**Disclaimer: I do not own TBMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan**

The Night Before

Merin stared at his soup, it was thick and green and looked particularly unappetising. He sighed and pushed the bowl away. He picked up some bread and began to crumble it on his plate. He was not feeling at all hungry, yet Jinevra had insisted that he eat with her and it wasn't worth starting an argument.

He could hear Jinevra talking, but didn't really pay much attention. He had developed the ability over the years to tune her out, so he could think about more enjoyable things. They were dining alone this evening, which was always a burden for him; no one else to share the conversation, no one else to introduce new and interesting subjects. It also allowed his Queen to discuss personal things without having to be careful of preserving the fiction that as King, he was the most powerful person in the room and couldn't be disagreed with.

"Merin! Did you hear what I said?" He looked up to find Jinevra looking annoyed.

"I'm sorry, my dear," he said, "I was thinking about something which happened earlier today."

Jinevra sighed, "I do wish you'd listen, sometimes. And why aren't you eating your soup? You haven't been eating properly for weeks and you need your strength." She pushed the soup bowl back towards him and her voice softened, "Come on, try to eat it, you'll feel better."

Merin wearily took his spoon and obediently swallowed a few mouthfuls. _That was another irritating thing,_ he thought, _Her insistence that he should eat up all his food, just as if he were a small boy who wasn't able to think for himself._

"I was talking about the Guardianship Hearing tomorrow, Merin. Lady Alechia came to see me today. She is so worried, poor thing. She thinks the Guild might try to prevent her family claiming the child, because it might have strong magic. I told her you were a strong defender of the law and wouldn't be swayed by anyone else."

_Only Jinevra would refer to the dragon of family Delvon as "poor thing",_ Merin thought. He had been frightened of her when he was young and kept out of her way as much as possible. He still tried to avoid her at social events even though he was now King. He quite liked Lord Lukon, who had been a boon companion of Merin's father, but he didn't care much for the rest of the family now that Akkarin was gone.

He suddenly realised that Jinevra was still talking, "…unsuitable person, you must agree Merin? After all, what does she know about the duties of noble families and the responsibilities they have?"

Merin assumed she was talking about Sonea, "If you met Black Magician Sonea, my dear, you would not know she was born in the slums from her behaviour. She has learned a lot from her years in the Guild, mixing with nobles. High Lord Akkarin would not have become involved with her if he did not think she was a suitable person."

Jinevra laughed coarsely, "Oh, Merin, you are so naïve, lots of noble men have taken up with the most unsuitable women. I don't think they were looking for fine behaviour and good manners! No, I am sure High Lord Akkarin was a man like any other and would take his pleasures where he wanted without thought for his honour and family."

Merin suddenly had the urge to grab the Queen and shake her soundly while shouting in her ear that she knew nothing about Akkarin, nor how he behaved, whereas her precious Lady Alechia was a vicious bully who terrorised her children and anyone else who didn't do what she said. But of course, he wouldn't do anything of the kind.

Jinevra was still talking, "It must be so hard for the family to be suddenly without their son. Now they have a chance to raise his child. who will help to fill the gap left by his loss. Alechia was talking so fondly of the High Lord when he was a little boy and how she missed him. She's hoping for another boy, of course, but even if it is a girl, she said she would feel just as fond of her as she had been of her son."

Merin stared at her, _How could she be so taken in by Alechia?_ he thought. _Many's the time I saw the bleeding welts on Akkarin's back from the whippings she ordered. If he hadn't been able to Heal himself, his back would have been criss-crossed by hundreds of scars. _

The Queen said sadly. "I feel so sorry for anyone who has lost a child. If they can find another to help them over their grief, then it can only be a good thing."

Merin was struck by remorse. He had failed to give his wife a child and perhaps that was why she had turned into such a bitter woman. He could not blame her for his own reluctance to share her bed. He smiled at her kindly.

"Rest assured, Jinevra, that I will listen carefully to all the arguments from both Akkarin's family and from Lady Sonea and I will follow the law, when making my decision.

Lord Lukon was sitting in his study, staring sightlessly at the pile of papers on his desk. Amongst them were the notes of the speech he intended to make tomorrow at the Guardianship Hearing. He was feeling quietly confident. The law was on his side and Alechia had been very pleased with her meeting with the Queen who was completely sympathetic. Lukon suspected that the tiny Queen had quite a strong influence over her husband, so her support could only be a bonus.

The door opened quietly and Alkaria put her head round the door, "Can I come in father?" she asked with a smile.

Lukon gazed at her fondly. He knew it was wrong, but he did love the child much more than either of her brothers. She had a sweet nature at heart, although some of her behaviour annoyed him. She was pretty, too, reminding him of the young Alechia he had fallen in love with all those long years ago. _Perhaps that's why she can twist my heart_ _around her little finger_, he thought.

Alkaria came over and sat on the corner of his desk. She was attractively dressed, as always, in a bright scarlet dress, embroidered in heavy gold thread, and with tiny jewels sewn into the stitching, so that she shimmered with each movement. She looked at all the papers, picking up one or two and casting her eye over them.

"Why are you still working, father, it's late and you should be having a nice glass of wine in the sitting room with the rest of us."

"I've been thinking about tomorrow, Alkaria. It is very important that things go the way I've planned and the child is brought here as soon as it is born. I don't want anything to go wrong. We need the child."

"But surely nothing can go wrong, can it?" she looked at him under her lashes, twinkling eyes looking into his own, "the King will do what you want won't he?"

"He should, our case is strong, but you know, Merin makes some odd decisions at times. He was always fond of Akkarin and we don't know what that woman has said to him." Lukon frowned as he remembered Sonea's visit to their home. "She's a strong woman and very determined, I think."

"Yes, what did you think of Lady Sonea? She's a lot prettier than I thought she would be and she had such graceful movements."

Lukon glanced at her sharply, "Now don't you start getting any of your strange fancies! Lady Sonea is our adversary in this matter and she is bound to put up a strong case. When we win, she will be very angry. I don't want any members of this family having anything whatsoever to do with her or the Guild. Is that clear, Alkaria?"

She coloured a little and nodded, "Yes father, perfectly clear."

Sonea lay in Akkarin's arms listening to his heartbeat. She so loved that sound, it made her feel safe and protected. After all the anxieties she had endured over the past week, as the date for the Guardianship Hearing drew closer, being able to lie quietly in her lover's arms was absolute bliss.

_It's agreeable for me too_, he sent.

His hand drifted slowly over her body, leaving a trail of tingling sensations in its wake. She snuggled closer to him and permitted her own hand to wander, feeling his flesh tremble under her fingers. She let her lips trace the journey of her fingers and felt his desire for her blossom in her mind. They were careful in their lovemaking these days, and she was content to follow his lead. He had already made love to her earlier in the evening and she knew it would not happen again this time.

_I shall be pleased when the child is born_, she thought. _So much will be different, then_. _There will be no need to be so careful._

Akkarin laughed softly as his fingers slid under her chin to raise her face, "You are an eager lover, Sonea," he said. He lowered his face to hers and time slowed as they exchanged long sensuous kisses.

Sonea found her mind drifting pleasantly, all worries and concerns seemed so far away; it was difficult to believe that the Guardianship Hearing was tomorrow.

_This time tomorrow night, it will all be over and I shall know what the King has decided_. _I have done all that I can to prepare and I must trust in the Eye to bring me good luck, _she thought.


	30. The Guardianship Hearing

**Disclaimer: I do not own the world of BMT – it belongs to Trudi Canavan**

The Guardianship Hearing

Sonea and Rothen were shown into the magnificent splendour of the King's Court, the place where all the legal business of the Kingdom was carried out. At the far end of the chamber was a raised dais upon which sat a large golden throne, with the arms of the King's house on the back. To either side were smaller throne-like chairs for the Queen and the King's Advisors.

Sonea and Rothen were taken down the chamber to a large table, on the left-hand side of the room, facing the throne. The table was bare except for a jug of water and some glasses. They sat down on the padded chairs provided and she fumbled in her pack for her notes and some pens and paper.

A similar table, with five padded chairs, was on her right, presumably for the family Delvon, House Velan. _It looks as if all of them are coming_, she thought, _including Vettin and the widow. _She was grateful that Rothen had volunteered to come with her. It would have been very daunting to sit alone at the table. High Lord Balkan had already informed her that he would be attending in his official capacity as head of the Guild and would have a separate place to sit in the Court.

Sonea could hear the buzz of conversation behind her and twisted round to see the seats towards the back of the chamber were already filling with people. Most of them were members of the Houses and she could see magicians amongst them. Then she noticed, right at the back, near the far corner of the room, a familiar figure. _Cery!_ she thought, _Cery has come_. She tried to catch his eye, but he wasn't looking in her direction.

There was a noise of chairs scraping which announced the arrival of Akkarin's family. Lord Lukon was luxuriously dressed in the colours of his House and Lady Alechia was wearing the most expensive set of jewels Sonea had ever seen. _Parading their wealth_ _and their ability to provide the child with everything_, she thought bitterly. Vettin and his wife slid into their seats, not looking at anyone. Alkaria was the last to sit down and she risked a glance at Sonea and gave a quick smile. She, too, was dressed in expensive finery, with jewels in her hair and around her neck.

There was a loud fanfare and the people in the chamber rose to their feet. King Merin and Queen Jinevra entered the chamber, her hand resting in his. They were both dressed in royal robes of crimson and gold and wore the Kyralian crowns. Behind them came the King's Advisors and High Lord Balkan. The Royal party sat down, followed by everyone else.

Merin nodded to a herald standing by the side of the dais who announced the reason for the assembly in a loud voice. There was no doubting that this was an official Hearing involving the full force of Kyralian law.

Merin looked at the occupants of both tables and then looked at the people in the Court. "This is a difficult case as you will hear when Lord Lukon and Lady Sonea present their arguments and the decision will be hard to make. I ask Lord Lukon of family Delvon, House Velan to present his arguments."

Lukon rose to his feet and bowed deeply to the King. "Thank you, Your Majesty. My argument is quite simple. My son, High Lord Akkarin, died unmarried. However, he had formed a relationship with Lady Sonea, a magician from a lower social class. Lady Sonea will shortly bear his child. As my family has no heirs in the third generation, I claim the child to become the heir to family Delvon, House Velan according to the law."

Lukon bowed again and sat down, taking a sip of his water.

The King looked at Sonea, "I ask Black Magician Sonea to present her arguments."

Sonea rose and bowed. "Your Majesty, it is true that High Lord Akkarin is the father of my child and that we were not married in an official ceremony. However, just before the final battle at the Guild, we exchanged promises to marry immediately the fighting was over. Unfortunately High Lord Akkarin died defending the Guild and the Kingdom before he could carry out his promise. Nevertheless, I regard the promise as binding and myself as his wife. I therefore claim that there is no cause for Lord Lukon to claim my child."

Merin nodded. "An interesting argument, Lady Sonea. Lord Lukon, do you have anything further to say?"

Lukon rose again, "There is no proof that any such promises were made. My wife had been trying to arrange a marriage for our son for a number of years, to no avail. We had come to the conclusion that he was not interested in marriage. It is inconceivable that the High Lord and member of one of the most important Houses in the Kingdom would offer marriage to a lowborn woman. It is convenient for Lady Sonea that my son is dead and cannot dispute her words."

At the King's gesture, Sonea rose, "Lord Lukon has already asked me if High Lord Akkarin had written down his promise of marriage and I had to remind him that we were engaged in a deadly battle for the future of the Kingdom at the time and the niceties of thinking about proof were beyond us. High Lord Akkarin did not intend to die in battle, so saw no reason why he would not be able to carry out his promise." She turned towards Lord Lukon and said in a cold voice, "I do not regard the death of the man I love and the person I was going to marry as convenient."

She resumed her seat as Merin thought for a moment. "Lady Sonea, how long have you been a magician in the Guild?"

"For almost five years, Your Majesty."

"What is your position in the Guild?"

"I am Head of the Black Magic Discipline and therefore have the rank of a Higher Magician, Sire." _Merin knows all this_, she thought. _What is he trying to do?_

The King nodded again. He turned to High Lord Balkan, "High Lord, how do you regard the magical strength of Lady Sonea?"

"She is the strongest magician in the Guild at present. None of us have seen such strength since the death of High Lord Akkarin."

The King addressed Lord Lukon, "Your case rests on the view of Lady Sonea as a lowborn woman and it is true that she was not born into any of the Houses. However, she has been a member of the Guild for five years, has qualified as a magician and been raised to the rank of Higher Magician. In those terms, it is hard to think of her as lowborn. She has a greater rank than many other qualified magicians, all of whom come from the Houses."

Lukon's face paled and he looked uncertain. Lady Alechia rose and pushed past him to fall to her knees in front of the King. She waved a handkerchief and dabbed her eyes.

She looked up at Merin and said, "Your Majesty, you cannot know the pain of a mother's heart when her son is taken from her. My boy, killed and no time to bid his mother farewell." She dabbed her eyes again, "There is an empty space in my heart which I never thought would be filled. Then came the news that my boy had fathered a child. Oh how my mother's heart rejoiced. A child to help heal the hurt and fill the gap in my life." She hid her face in her hands and the sound of sobbing filled the chamber.

Sonea watched the performance, for it was a performance, theatrical and totally out of character, with astonishment. This was the woman who spit venom at the thought of her son as a slave or the lover of a dwell. She glanced at the King, wondering what he would make of the performance and caught him looking at the weeping woman at his feet in disgust.

"Thank you Lady Alechia, I well remember your care for High Lord Akkarin when we were boys." The King did not sound as if the memory was all that pleasant. "Well, as I said this is a difficult case. There is no proof of any promise made by the High Lord. Yet I have known High Lord Akkarin since we were small boys and always found him a trustworthy friend, loyal and honest. If he indeed fell in love with Lady Sonea, I have no doubt he would have wished to marry her and would have done so, had he lived. It is the question of proof which is the problem."

The King paused for a moment and in the silence, a voice called out from the back of the hall, "Your Majesty, I may be able to help with proof."

All heads turned as a small, well-dressed figure stood and began to make his way down to the dais. It was Cery. _What is he going to say?_ Sonea thought,

Cery bowed before Merin, "As you know, Sire, High Lord Akkarin and Lady Sonea came back to Imardin secretly to prepare for the struggle against the Ichani. For all of the time they were in the city, they stayed with me. During that time, I became privy to the knowledge that High Lord Akkarin had proposed marriage to Lady Sonea and that she had accepted. Not only I, but all of the people who helped High Lord Akkarin in the defence of the city were aware of the situation."

Lukon jumped to his feet, "A Thief, you are going to take the word of a Thief. I suppose this is another slum dweller friend of Lady Sonea!"

The King's face darkened, "Lord Lukon, Cery is the man who worked with High Lord Akkarin for all the years he kept Kyralia safe, tracking down the Ichani sent to test the Guild's defences, so that they could be killed. You owe your life to the work that this man and your son carried out!" The King smiled at Cery, "Thank you Cery, you have been most helpful."

As he returned to his seat Cery smiled at Sonea and offered a very large wink. She grinned back, _What a surprise_, she thought.

_Cery is a good man_, Akkarin sent, _Very loyal and very dependable. He has given Merin a useful piece of information. I wonder what he will do with it?_

Merin sat silent for a few minutes. Then he seemed to come to a decision. He looked first at Sonea and then family Delvon, then at the wider audience. "The facts in this case are not as clear as they appear at first sight. Lady Sonea is expecting High Lord Akkarin's child and there was no formal ceremony of marriage. However there is evidence that marriage was intended and only death prevented it occurring. The evidence of the Thief, Cery, shows that the idea of a marriage between High Lord Akkarin and Lady Sonea was common knowledge amongst the people they were with at the time."

"Family Delvon, House Velan have lost a son who might have been expected to marry and provide them with heirs in the third generation. There is no doubt that the family need an heir and the fact that a grandchild is to be born soon would seem to provide them with one."

"The central question is whether the law regarding the offspring of a noble and a lowborn woman applies in this case. We have heard from Lady Sonea that she is now a high-ranking magician and High Lord Balkan confirms that she is the strongest magician in the Guild. I regard both these facts as important. In my opinion, these facts show that it would be wrong to regard Black Magician Sonea as lowborn. Her skills as a magician and her rank as a Higher Magician completely override the social class into which she was born."

Sonea could see out of the corner of her eye that Lukon and Alechia were becoming increasingly agitated.

The King continued, "In these circumstances, the law in question would not apply. However, family Delvon, House Velan do need an heir. The decision I have made will have regard to the provision of an heir, while at the same time, acknowledging the rights of Lady Sonea as the mother of that heir."

It seemed that everyone in the hall was holding their breath. Sonea found her heart fluttering in her chest. She sensed Akkarin beginning to laugh, _Do not worry, Sonea_, he said, _I think I know what Merin is going to do!_

Merin went on, "I have decided that there is sufficient evidence that a promise of marriage was made and only the death of High Lord Akkarin prevented it taking place. I respect Lady Sonea's desire to regard the promise as binding. Therefore I decree that Lady Sonea be regarded as the widow of High Lord Akkarin and as such a member of family Delvon, House Velan. This is to be entered in the family records. Her child, when it is born, will become heir and she will remain its guardian as befits the widow of High Lord Akkarin."

Sonea could not believe it, and neither could Lord Lukon judging by the look on his face. She could hear Akkarin roaring with laughter. _Welcome to my family and my house!_ he sent. _Merin has done well. He has solved two problems with one decision. Only my parents will be angry but they can do nothing about it!_

There was uproar in the hall and the King's herald had to bang his staff loudly on the floor several times before the noise died down.

The King stood, "Lord Lukon of family Delvon, House Velan, and Lady Sonea of family Delvon, House Velan, come here." They stood in front of the King and bowed. "I have made my decision and it is binding on you both. From this day, Lady Sonea is a full member of your family and the mother to be of your heir, Lord Lukon. I expect you to provide fully for your daughter and her child and no expense shall be spared in educating the future head of your family. For your part. Lady Sonea, you are charged with bringing up your child as befits the heir of a noble House. Do you both understand?"

Sonea and Lord Lukon both said yes and bowed deeply. Merin said, "Lady Sonea, a private word."

Merin drew her into a corner, away from the others. He took her hand, and smiled at her. "When you came to see me, Lady Sonea, I could see the anger in your eyes and I know that you despised me for what I did to you both at the Hearing. You cannot think as badly of me as I think of myself. Akkarin was my friend and I loved him. We grew up together and I should have believed in him and trusted him. Instead, I cast him off and only you had the courage to speak up for him and to share in his exile. He must have loved you because he gave up his life to protect you. I hope that what I have done today will go some way to right the wrong I did you both. I hope that Akkarin forgives me for what I did."

Sonea looked steadily at the King, "Akkarin never wavered in his determination to protect the Kingdom. He had faith in you and always spoke well of you. If he could hear you, I am sure he would thank you with all his heart for what you have done for me and for his child."


	31. Boxes

Disclaimer: I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi CanavanBoxes

There was a lively buzz in her rooms as they accommodated more visitors than Sonea had ever seen there before. Since the early morning, there had been a steady stream of people, all keen to talk about the previous day's Guardianship Hearing and its unexpected outcome.

Sonea still had difficulty believing what had happened. As soon as the King and Queen had left the Court, Lord Lukon had come over to her, his face a cool mask of complete indifference. He smiled frostily, although it didn't reach his eyes, "Congratulations, Lady Sonea, on your rapid rise to nobility. It seems that today my family has gained a new daughter, equal in rank to my slave son. It will be entered on the family records as the King ordered. I have nothing further to say to you."

He turned away and Sonea was glad that he had kept his voice low. Lady Alechia shot her a look of such malevolence that Sonea almost took a step backwards. Her new mother hissed, "Do not think that you have won here, my fine lady. Things may change once the child is born." With that, they turned and swept from the chamber, the crowds parting before them in silence.

She managed to have a quick word with Cery, before Rothen rescued her from being besieged by curious onlookers. She thanked him for coming and for saying what he did, "Whatever made you say that?" she asked, because they both knew that Cery's evidence was a lie.

Cery smiled knowingly and bent close to her so he wouldn't be overheard, "The King asked me to come."

"The King?" Sonea was bewildered, "Why did he do that?"

"He needed me to give evidence that I knew about the promise of marriage between you and Akkarin," he whispered. "Without that, he would have been unable to do what he did for you."

Sonea now realised the full extent of the King's determination to prevent Akkarin's family from taking her child. _He must have thought very carefully about how he was going to do it, _she thought. _He needed something, which would not make it look as if he were changing the law._

Akkarin sounded just a little smug as he sent, _I told you to trust in the King. I knew that he would do what was right. He has his faults, but he is a decent man at heart and he was always fond of me._

Now she was hosting the entire Guild, or so it appeared to her. She was so used to being in her rooms with perhaps one or two other people, it was very strange to see so many different faces at one time. They all wanted to hear what she had to say and she was tired of repeating the same things. _Perhaps they will all get bored and leave soon_, she thought hopefully.

There was a sudden loud knocking on her door and she opened it to find a servant in the colours of her new House and a line of workmen carrying boxes of all shapes and sizes, which they were piling by her entrance.

"Lady Sonea?" he asked, "Lord Lukon says you are to have all these."

"What are they?" she asked. There must have been at least twenty boxes piled up and more were arriving all the time.

The servant looked at her in astonishment, "Lord Lukon did not inform me of the contents, only that they are now yours."

"Lady Sonea," a new voice called and Alkaria appeared from behind the workmen. "I can tell you all about them." She put her arms around Sonea and gave her a hug. "Good day, Sister!" she said cheerfully. "It is official now!"

Sonea looked at the steady line of workmen and boxes and realised that they were in danger of blocking the corridor. "You can't leave them there," she said to the servant. "Get your men to bring them in and put them through that door over there." She pointed towards her spare room.

The servant looked as if he would argue with her, but Alkaria said in her most imperious voice, "Do as my sister, Lady Sonea, says and do it quickly!"

With barely concealed distaste from the servant, and mutterings from the workmen, the boxes were eventually stacked up in the spare room. While this had been going on, Lady Alkaria had moved between the groups of visitors saying a few words here and there. To Sonea's surprise and relief, her visitors started leaving and soon only she and Alkaria remained.

"How did you do that?" Sonea laughed. "I've been trying to hint that I'd like to be alone for some time, but no one took any notice."

Alkaria smiled, "It's just practice. Now do you have any tea? We can have a nice chat."

Soon they were sitting in the comfortable chairs, sipping tea and nibbling on Khara's famous biscuits. Alkaria was more plainly dressed today, with none of the jewels she had worn yesterday in evidence. Her dress was made of expensive green cloth, with velvet panels and embroidery in gold thread around sleeves and hem. She made Sonea feel especially dowdy in her black robes.

"What are all those boxes and why have your parents sent them to me?"

Alkaria put down her cup, and took Sonea's hand in hers, "You mustn't get upset," she said earnestly, "They are all of Akkarin's possessions which we had at home. Mother said she wanted no reminders of her….. well I won't tell you the words she used to describe him, …son. There are some things of his in our other houses and these will be packed and sent to you too. My parents do not want even one single thing which belonged to him anywhere in any of our properties."

Sonea sighed, "I can't believe that any mother could feel that way about her own child. To give away everything which belonged to him – it's such a terrible thing to do."

_Well, I for one, am looking forward to you unpacking them_, Akkarin sent. _There are some things I could do with here and now I can get the details exactly right!_

Sonea smothered a laugh. _Trust you to look on the bright side_, she responded.

Alkaria was looking at her curiously, "You had a strange look on your face then, Sonea, almost as if you were concentrating on something inside you."

"It's just a magic thing," she said quickly and changed the subject. "Did your parents say anything about the judgement yesterday?"

Alkaria laughed loudly, "I have never seen mother so angry. She appears to think you have bewitched the King! She and father shut themselves away for a long time, last evening. I don't know what they were talking about, but this morning, mother appeared more cheerful. I expect she's hatching a plan. Don't worry, though, father told her there's nothing much she can do and she must make the best of it."

Soon afterwards, Alkaria left, saying she had to go to her dressmaker. Sonea went into the spare room and surveyed the piles of boxes. _It is lucky there was very little furniture in this room,_ she thought. _There are so many boxes, it's going to be difficult opening them. Which should I open first?_

_Try the chests over there on the table, _Akkarin sent. _I will give you the key._

There were two chests, each about two feet long, a foot wide and about eighteen inches high. They were made of wood and covered in dark green leather with a design in gold on the lids. Sonea touched the first one and the magical lock opened. She opened the lid to find the chest contained a number of smaller boxes, all covered in leather and some were set with tiny jewels.

_Open them_, Akkarin said.

Sonea opened the first one and gasped. Inside, on a bed of black velvet lay a necklace of gold, set with emeralds and diamonds. The next box contained several brooches in gold and silver, set with pearls and diamonds. Another had bracelets and rings of rubies and emeralds. Every box in the chest contained some sort of jewellery of the most expensive sort and exquisitely made.

"What are these? Whose are they?" Sonea had never seen so many jewels in one place.

Akkarin sounded amused, _These are the jewels set aside for my wife. I started to have them made when I became High Lord and mother kept trying to marry me off. It is one of the tasks young nobles have to do, provide an expensive collection of jewellery for their future wife! They are yours, Sonea, do you like them?. There are more jewels in the other chest._

Sonea burst out laughing. She couldn't help it. _When am I ever going to wear these? Magicians don't have many opportunities to dress up! _

_Then the contents of the large chest on the floor in the corner will come as a big disappointment to you. _Akkarin laughed.

When she opened it, she found bolts of material, silks, velvet, fine wool and satins in every colour under the sun. Towards the bottom, there were cloaks of all types from warm fur-lined winter ones to light, lacy summer ones.

_More things for your future wife?_ she asked. _ I always thought it was the girl's family who had to provide these sorts of things._

Oh, they give similar things, too, but it is the prospective husband who has to show off his taste and, more importantly, his wealth by giving his beloved the best of everything.

Not all the boxes held marriage gifts, some of them contained clothing, books and toys which had belonged to the young Akkarin. There were his lesson books, carefully corrected by his tutors, his child-sized sword and shield, covered with chips and dents showing the hours of practice the young noble had put in and many items of clothing from the winter weight tunics and trousers, to the lighter summer clothes, suitable for holidays.

_Did your family throw nothing away?_ Sonea was astonished at the variety of things which had been carefully wrapped in paper with herbs scattered over them to keep out insects. _No wonder nobles need big houses, they would not be able to store everything otherwise, if they had large families!_

In another set of chests, Sonea found ornaments, small sculptures, china figurines and several paintings, including three of Akkarin, one of him as a young child around six or seven, one painted when he was about sixteen and a larger one of him as High Lord. She liked them all very much and decided that she would find places to put them in her apartment.

_People are always telling me that these rooms are dark and dismal, so I shall brighten them up with paintings and ornaments,_ she sent. _I might even find a use for some of the material, Alkaria said I needed some bright colours. _

By now it was getting late and she realised that it would be impossible to open all the boxes today. She needed to go through them carefully and decide what she was going to do with the contents. Luckily she had a large apartment and there was plenty of room.

_I am going to enjoy opening these boxes_, she sent. _There is so much about you I don't know. I want to find out all those things which happened to you when you were growing up. Now I will be able to look at your lessons, read your favourite books and touch the objects you loved. More importantly, I will have these things to give to our child so it will come to know its father through all these things which belonged to him._


	32. Supper with a Friend

**Disclaimer: I do now own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan**

Supper with a Friend

Rothen was looking forward to seeing Sonea for more than a "just-in-passing" moment. In the weeks since the Guardianship Hearing, she had been spending long hours with her students trying to work through as many ancient books as possible before she was forced to stop working and wait for the birth of her child.

He knocked on the door, which opened almost immediately, as if Sonea had been waiting behind it.

"Come in Rothen," she said as she kissed him on the cheek. "It's been so long and I'm sure we have a lot to talk about."

Rothen looked round. The room looked considerably more cheerful than the last time he had been there. There were many paintings on the walls, and decorative objects scattered around. The cushions were in a variety of colours and even the curtains were newly made from colourful velvets.

"Do you like it?" Sonea asked. "I have made use of some of the things from the boxes Akkarin's family sent. I'm not very good with decoration, but Akkarin's sister, Alkaria, has been helping me. She has a good eye and is trying to teach me good taste!"

Rothen smiled, "Yes it looks really bright and welcoming." He wandered over to the fireplace to examine the painting hanging above it. "This is a good likeness of the young Akkarin," he said, "I remember him as a novice around this age. He was always getting into mischief. That handsome face of his got him out of many a scrape, I remember."

He accepted a glass of wine, while Sonea went off to see if Khara had the food ready. Rothen was very pleased to see Sonea in better spirits. Since the guardianship of her child had been settled, it seemed as if a huge burden had been lifted from her shoulders.

_I suppose she likes having all these reminders of Akkarin in her rooms,_ he thought, as he took a closer interest in the objects placed on various items of furniture. The boxes had caused quite a stir in the Guild. There were wild tales going round about the exact number and contents. Those who were still uncomfortable with the idea of dwells in the Guild or still suspicious of the whole Sonea/Akkarin episode tended to think Sonea had merely been trying to get hold of money and valuables from family Delvon. Others, who were more sympathetic to her, saw the gift of the boxes as fair, in the light of the King's judgment that she was a member of the family and Akkarin's widow.

"Supper is ready, Rothen, if you would like to come to the dining room." Sonea led the way and time passed pleasantly as Khara brought in dish after dish of tasty food and Rothen found his wine glass constantly refilled. He was able to tell her the latest gossip from the Night Room and recent news from Dannyl, who was still off on his travels.

As the evening drew to a close, they moved back into the sitting room and the comfortable chairs. Rothen noticed they had avoided speaking about Sonea and her future plans. Life with a small child was difficult enough for ordinary magicians, but for someone with the responsibility for black magic, it was probably a lot harder.

"What will happen to your students when you have to stop working?" he asked.

Sonea pulled a face, "I had a long meeting with the High Lord to decide what to do. I had a pretty good idea what I wanted them to do, but it took a long time to convince him! He doesn't seem to think I have any brains at all! Anyway, I got my way in the end. They are going to spend three months on advanced Warrior skills, particularly focusing on dealing with Black Magicians. After what happened recently, it seemed absolutely necessary that the Guild can defend itself against such an attack."

"Three months, is that how long you will be on leave? That doesn't seem very much time. I remember my wife was away from her work for nearly six months and she found it very difficult to leave Dorrien when her time was up."

"It's all the time we can spare, really. We are coming to the end of the book researches; there are only a few dozen more to look through. I will soon have to initiate them in the practice of black magic. Only I can do that. I will have to monitor them very carefully during the process. As it is, I will still have to truth-read them every three days even when I am officially not at work."

"Are you happy, Sonea," Rothen asked. He still felt responsible for her being in the Guild at all and everything which had flowed from that.

She looked down at her hands for a moment, twisting the ring on her marriage finger. "It depends what you mean by happy," she smiled crookedly. "In the here and now, I am content that the King recognised Akkarin's promise to marry me and has given me a family name for my child. I am pleased for his family, that they now have an heir. I have rank in the Guild and rank in the Houses. I have wealth and position. I have an important job to do for the Guild, which depends on me. All of these things once seemed impossible and to some people, it may seem a miracle that I have them all."

She looked up at him. "But if you asked me what I really want, what would make me really happy, I would have to say that I would give all of these things up today, just to be in a remote country cottage somewhere a long way away from here with Akkarin and our child."

She got up and went over to the picture hanging over the fireplace. "I must sound as if I am ungrateful for all the things people have done for me in the last few months. I am not, but nothing will ever make up for the fact that Akkarin will not be here to hold his child."

"Rothen, you are like a father to me, so I will tell you something I have not said to anyone else. It is the unfairness of it all, I hate so much."

"I spent a long time hating Akkarin. I did everything I could think of to make that very clear to him. I tried my best to make him miserable. Then I found out the truth about his work, and began to help him. Although I didn't know it then, I had already fallen in love with him. That only became clear to me at the Hearing when I couldn't bear the thought of him being sent away alone to die. Later, in Sachaka, I found out that he loved me too, but had hidden it for a long time to protect me. So we found each other at last, but the time was so short, it could be counted in days."

"Then he gave up his life to save me. I could have Healed him, but he wouldn't let me. When I had killed the Ichani, I tried to save him, but it was too late, I almost did it, but when I lost consciousness, it put an end to my efforts. He gave everything for me and I failed him when he needed me most."

"Akkarin had suffered so much, as a young boy growing up in that house; later as a slave in Sachaka and then with the burdens he carried as the secret defender of Kyralia. All that time, he was alone. Then we found happiness together only to have it snatched away so quickly. It is so unjust!"

Rothen said nothing; he didn't really know what to say. Even he, who knew Sonea better than most, had had no idea of the extent of the passion which had consumed her. _There's nothing I can say to help_, he thought.

"Rothen, if I asked you, would you help me get away from the Guild?"

Rothen was shocked, "But why. Sonea? You have a place here, and will be looked after for the rest of your life. You have an important task to carry out and as you said, rank, position and wealth. Why would you want to leave?"

She sighed, "I am a prisoner here, Rothen. It may be a gilded cage, but it is a cage nevertheless. And what about my child? The High Lord and Vinara seem to think it will have strong magic like Akkarin and myself. What future will it have here? It, too, will be a prisoner."

"How would you manage with a baby? Who would go with you? Where would you go? I don't think you have thought carefully enough about this, Sonea." Rothen sounded worried and Sonea hastened to reassure him.

"Of course, you're right. It is just an idle thought." Sonea sighed. "The child will be born soon, Vinara said it could be within the week. I expect everything will feel different then."

They went on to talk about other things, but later, back in his own rooms, Rothen thought again about what Sonea had said. He suspected that no one really understood the depth of her feelings for Akkarin or her resentment of what had happened since his death. He began to think that he had caught a glimpse of the real Sonea when she talked about going away. _The Guild has no real idea of what it took on when it accepted Sonea,_ he thought_. She is not like a member of the Houses, brought up to respect magicians and the Guild. She grew up fearing and hating magic and magicians. She does not see the Guild as the ultimate goal of everyone with magic. What has happened since has only reinforced her negative feelings about it. I can understand why she wants to leave._

His thoughts chased round and round his head. He couldn't shake off a feeling of impending doom, although he did not know what that doom might be, only that it had to do with Sonea. _But she really wouldn't leave, would she?_ he asked himself. _But if she really decided to go, would I help her?_

Try as he might, Rothen could not answer that question.


	33. A Temporary Parting

**Disclaimer: **__**I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan**

A Temporary Parting

Rothen had gone and Sonea had sent Khara home. It had been a pleasant supper with an old friend, although she regretted some of the things she had said. _I hope I didn't_ _reveal too much_, she thought. It was so easy to forget that Rothen did not and must not know everything.

She locked her front door and went into her bedchamber. She had made changes here too; the bed now had new blue velvet coverings and hangings, embroidered in white and silver thread. On the wall opposite the foot of the bed, she had hung the large portrait of Akkarin as High Lord, so that she could see it as soon as she woke in the morning and last thing at night before she went to sleep. This was one room that she had not allowed Alkaria to organise. It was not finished yet, there were still many boxes to go through, but she was pleased with the effect so far.

She changed into fresh cream silk sleeping garments and lay down on the bed. Her movements were slow and awkward now and she would be very pleased when her body returned to normal. This was the last time she would see Akkarin, before their child was born so she was both excited and sad because she didn't know when she would be able to return to him. Once the locks had been set, she closed her eyes and set off on her journey to his apartment.

She had used the loud waterfall technique, so he wasn't immediately aware of her presence and she had time to look at him. He was standing by one of the bookshelves, looking through a book. He was wearing dark green fitted trousers and a cream silk shirt, with long flowing sleeves. His hair was tied back so she had a good view of his profile as he concentrated on his reading. She felt her heart flutter in her chest and he must have sensed her emotions, because he turned and caught her watching him.

He smiled and closed the distance between them quickly. She felt his arms around her as his voice whispered in her ear, "How long have you been staring at me, Sonea?" He sounded pleased.

She laughed, "I love to watch you when you don't know I'm doing it! I'm getting better at it! One day, I'll be able to watch you for ten minutes before you find out!" She put her arms around his neck as they exchanged a number of loving kisses, before moving to the banquette where she could lie comfortably with her head in his lap.

They didn't talk for a while, Akkarin stroked her hair slowly and Sonea let herself be soothed, _rather like a pet cat_, she thought. "Your hair is growing nicely," Akkarin said. He had wanted her to have long hair for quite a while now, so she had not had it cut for some months and it had grown past her shoulder blades.

"But it's so curly, it can be difficult to keep it tidy," she complained. "I wish I had straight hair like you. I wonder which type of hair the child will have."

She felt his hands gently move over her swollen body, "Not very long to wait, now," he said.

"Akkarin, do you think you will be in the baby's mind as well as mine?" Sonea looked up at him. "It might be possible, don't you think?"

He shook his head, "I really don't know, but I suspect not. I am not aware of the baby at all, so I don't suppose it is aware of me either."

They talked about the baby and the arrangements Sonea had made for looking after it. Khara had recommended one of her nieces to be the nursemaid and she would come to live in Sonea's apartment as soon as the child was born. Ishvanna was around the same age as Sonea and they had got on well when they met.

"Having a nursemaid living with us will make it so much easier, and I will be able to come and see you without worrying about what might happen to the baby. It may be selfish of me, but I couldn't give up seeing you for months."

Akkarin smiled, "I am also selfish enough to be delighted you will be coming back soon and I shall save some wine for you to celebrate. Now, talking of wine and celebration, do you want something to eat?"

Sonea wasn't hungry as she had just had supper, but Akkarin made her some tea and she sipped that while he had his favourite wine and some cakes. They talked about the latest set of books they had been studying and whether or not the answer to a particularly difficult problem would ever be found in the Guild's library.

Time passed all too quickly and it was soon nearing the time for Sonea to leave.

"I wish you could be with me when the baby is born," she said. "I shall miss you so much."

"It is not the custom in the Houses for fathers to be with their wives during the actual birth." Akkarin sounded faintly shocked at the thought. "They are usually out with their male friends, hunting or fishing or carrying out some other sort of manly activity. Births are for women. Even if you and I were still living in the Residence, I would be sent away by the Healers."

Sonea was surprised, "Well, where I lived, it was very common for a husband to sit with his wife all through the birth, just holding her hand and keeping her company. Some of the customs of the Houses are really strange and I shall never understand them."

" I shall be with you all through the birth, I may not be able to hold your hand, but I will keep you company. When it is born, give it a kiss for me." There was sadness in his tone and Sonea was conscious again that he would only ever know his child through her thoughts and actions.

"I shall tell our child all about you; I will make sure it knows you and loves you as I do," she promised.

They stood together wrapped in an embrace, not wanting to be the first to say the words. At last, she heard him say reluctantly, "You have to go Sonea, you must sleep properly."

"Kiss me and wish me luck," she whispered.

"With great pleasure," he replied as his mouth covered hers.


	34. Capture

**Disclaimer: I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan**

Capture

The trap was in place and all Cery had to do was wait for it to be sprung. He had decided against going out with his men, there were only so many cold, wet nights, hidden in damp, smelly places that a respectable Thief could stand. He paid them enough, let them put up with the problems.

Their elusive quarry had been leading them a merry dance over the past few weeks, almost as if he or they had been treating it like an elaborate hoax. But now, it seemed, they had taken the joke too far and Shappo had them cornered.

Cery took a long swallow of his beer. Yes, it would be a good thing to get this sorted out once and for all. His rivals had been spreading tales about him not being up to the job and he couldn't afford for that sort of thing to continue. _Nothing spreads as quickly as bad news,_ he thought, _and having interlopers living on his patch, stealing his goods was as bad as news could get!_

He heard a commotion at the outer door, but remained seated, cultivating the posture of a man comfortably at ease. There was a knock at his door, and Gol, Shappo and three others piled into the room, dragging a figure muffled in a dark cloak and with a sack over his head. Shappo removed the sack with a flourish and Cery found himself looking into the amused eyes of Takan.

"You are getting soft, Thief," Takan said with a smile, "You have taken too long to find me. I expected you weeks ago!"

Cery motioned for Gol to show the others out. He had no reason to fear Takan. "You and your men will be well rewarded, Shappo," he said. "I need to speak with our guest alone."

Cery wasn't totally surprised at the identity of his mysterious tenant. There had been something familiar about the face he had glimpsed before and it was obvious that whoever it was knew quite a lot about Cery, where his stashes were and also where to find temporary lodgings.

"So, Takan, perhaps you would care to explain what you've been doing all these months," Cery poured a beer for his guest and settled back, an expectant look on his face.

"I have been looking for my Master," he replied simply.

This time, Cery **was** surprised, "Your Master is dead, Takan, you know that."

Takan nodded, "I heard that too. I went to look for him after the fighting was over, but I couldn't find him. I found other people, though, but not my Master. I have been looking for him ever since."

"Takan, what makes you think Akkarin is still alive? His body was found; the entire Guild saw it, even the King went to pay his respects. There was a splendid funeral with hundreds of guests. There is a grave for him in the Guild cemetery, I have seen it."

Takan was silent for a minute, taking large swallows of his beer. He put the glass down and looked straight at Cery, "You know that Akkarin and I were linked by a blood gem? You know how they work? I could sense Akkarin's presence in my mind at times, particularly when he wanted to communicate with me, and he could read my mind when he chose to. On the very outer edges of my mind, I can still sense Akkarin sometimes. He is very faint, but he is there. If he were dead, I would not be able to sense him at all."

Cery was a practical Thief and magic was an area he knew nothing about and he didn't want to know anything about it either. He'd made use of the link between Takan and Akkarin during preparations against the Ichani, but he made no effort to understand how it worked. He took a more pragmatic approach to Takan's news.

"Perhaps you just think you sense him. You were together a long time and I am guessing that you were very fond of him, perhaps you just want to think he is alive."

Takan nodded. "At first, I thought that too, especially when I couldn't find him and everyone spoke about his death. I went to his grave at the Guild one night. I sat and listened for a long time, but there was nothing there. I thought perhaps I was going mad, but as I walked through the Guild grounds, I could sense him again, much stronger than before. Akkarin was somewhere in the Guild that night, but wherever he was, he was not in that grave. Since then, I have sensed him regularly, much fainter than that night, but he is still alive somewhere and I intend to find him."

"You were looking for him in the tunnels?" Cery asked.

"No, but I was trying to keep some people alive and I needed somewhere safe for them to stay, out of sight of the King's guards and the magicians and, of course, the Thieves."

"Who are these people? Where have they come from?"

Takan helped himself to some more beer, "When I went looking for my Master, the fighting had barely stopped. There were bodies everywhere, rubble and fires in some of the buildings; the destruction was terrible. I was searching a building when I noticed someone trapped under a pile of stone. There were burning beams as well as other rubble on top of him. I thought whoever it was had been killed, but then I heard a noise and realised the trapped man was still alive. I got him out, but he was very badly injured and I didn't think he would live. It was tempting to leave him to take his chances, but I couldn't do that because I recognised him."

Takan stopped speaking and Cery asked impatiently, "Well who was it?"

"It was my Master's friend, Lorlen."

"Administrator Lorlen?" Cery said, astonishment in his voice, "He was killed in the fighting, everyone knows that."

"They think he was lost, but he wasn't. I am looking after him still. He is not well and it has been a struggle to keep him alive. I don't know how he's survived, he must have a very strong will. Magicians are supposed to be able to Heal themselves, but Lorlen can't seem to do this. I've had to tend to his injuries as I would an ordinary man, not a magician."

"Why didn't you take him back to the Guild? They would have looked after him."

"I tried. Once he was over the worst of his wounds, I tried to take him back, but he got into such a state when we got near to the gates, I had to take him away. I have tried since, but even mention of the Guild or magic, or magicians seems to send him into a frenzy and he needs to be kept quiet. I can take you to him and you can see for yourself."

"That would account for the bloodstained cloths I found in my rooms, you took him there first, I suppose?" Cery remembered the reports he'd had about people living in once of his hiding places.

"Yes, I'm sorry about the mess, but I knew the place and I had to be somewhere I could deal with things in peace. The tunnels are fine for ordinary day-to-day living, but not for treating a severely injured man."

Cery thought for a moment. He owed a lot to Takan and his link with Akkarin. During the time he had lived amongst the Thieves, Takan had proved himself loyal and hardworking. Cery's dealings with Lorlen, although few in number, had also been straightforward without any of the hidden unpleasantness which often occurred between magicians and dwells.

"The best thing is for you and Lorlen to stay in one of my places. You can look after him without fear he will wander off and I can put an end to these rumours I cannot control my patch!"

Cery agreed to go with Takan to fetch Lorlen, so with only Gol for company, they set off for Takan's latest hiding place. It was in a remote area and consisted of a small room at the end of a short side tunnel. Cery was surprised to find it reasonably well furnished with basic chairs, a table and sleeping places at the far end.

A man was sitting at the table, head on his hand, looking down at the wooden surface as if it was an interesting book. Takan went over to him and gently tapped him on the shoulder and the man looked up.

Cery caught his breath, he remembered Lorlen as a good-looking young man, but the person who raised his head had thick white streaks in his dark hair and a ruined face. There were two deep purple scars running from the top of his head down past his left eye and across his left cheek. There were other scars criss-crossing the flesh around his mouth and down his neck. The most unsettling thing of all, to Cery, was the almost complete lack of intelligence in eyes which looked at him briefly, before returning to examining the table.

Takan said, "As you can see, he was very badly injured when the building collapsed on him. A burning beam caught his face, blinding him in one eye and causing the scars. But these things can be treated, it is what happened to his mind which I can't do anything about."

Takan indicated a couple of chairs and once they had sat down, continued, "At first, I thought it was just the injuries which made him a bit slow to respond when I talked to him. Later, I realised that he couldn't remember who he was or where he came from. The only thing which seems to stick in his mind is the Guild and he will not go anywhere near it. He is also frightened of magicians. One of them came near to us one day and the sight of the robes sent him into a fit of madness, it was all I could do to stop him running away."

"His mind has gone. He has no memory of what happened and he finds it very difficult to remember anything after a few minutes. He remembers how to eat and things like that, he can speak, but can't hold a conversation beyond a few short sentences. He seems to instinctively control his magic, but he doesn't know how to use it."

"It has been very difficult looking after him. In the beginning, there were several of us, people who had survived the fighting and who were injured or who had lost their families. We stuck together, as you know, living in the tunnels or wherever we could find a suitable place. They soon got fed up with Lorlen and urged me to abandon him, but he was my Master's friend and I hoped that once I could find Akkarin, he would be able to cure whatever is wrong. So, now the others have drifted away and it is just the two of us. I can't leave him alone too long, I am worried he will wander off."

Cery could see Takan's problem and moving the two of them into one of his hiding places would help, but it wouldn't solve the long term problem of what to do with a man who had lost his mind, especially if that man was a magician who might start to lose control of his magic_. Perhaps this idea that Akkarin is alive is Takan's way of hoping for a cure_, he thought. _He has convinced himself he senses his Master and if he finds him, Lorlen will be cured. _

"Let's get you two into safe accommodation and we can take some time to think of what to do next." Cery said, secretly praying to the Eye that a solution could be found.


	35. A Child is Born

**Disclaimer: I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan**

A Child is Born

Sonea was exhausted but happy. All the long months of waiting were over and as proof of that, a small bundle lay in her lap. The baby was tightly wrapped in white cloth, according to the custom, but she could see the soft dark hair, no hint of a curl anywhere, and the curve of a tiny cheek.

_Our daughter_, she thought, _We have a daughter. _

_Let's hope she's a pretty as her mother, _Akkarin sent.

_At least she has her father's hair_, Sonea replied.

The labour had been long and hard. It had started in the middle of the night, but luckily Vinara had arranged for a Healer to keep watch as Sonea had insisted on staying in her own bed, rather than being moved to the Healers' Quarters. Vinara had arrived a few minutes later and had taken charge. Although she was careful to always be confident and cheerful when she spoke to Sonea, there were times when she couldn't hide her concern.

After several hours of regular pains but with no sign of the baby coming, Vinara had gone off to consult her books. Sonea just wanted it all to be over. Akkarin, true to his promise to keep her company, had been a strong presence in her mind, although she could feel his increasing distress at the pain she was feeling and the time it was taking.

Vinara had returned with some medicine, which, Sonea thought, tasted like the week-old leavings in a chamber pot, but it seemed to work as, eventually, almost eight hours after her pains had started, Sonea had given birth.

"It's a girl," Vinara had said putting the bundle in her arms, "I hope you are not disappointed."

Sonea had shaken her head, "Boy or girl, it doesn't make any difference to me. She is my child and I love her."

"Well, I am sure family Delvon, House Velan would have preferred a boy for an heir," Vinara replied a little tartly. "Having a female heir just means more problems finding a suitable husband."

Sonea hadn't given any thought to the needs of her House or what Lord Lukon would think. They had been promised an heir and they had one. As soon as the child had been born, a message had been sent to them, as agreed. What they felt about their heir being a girl didn't matter to her.

After the birth, Sonea had been bathed by Ishvanna, dressed in fresh clothing, wrapped in a pale pink silken shawl and settled in a comfortable chair, the baby in her lap, ready to receive visitors.

This, according to Vinara, was what always happened in the Houses when a child was born. _I will never understand the strange customs your Houses have,_ she grumbled to Akkarin. _Just when a new mother would want to sleep, she has to be dressed up like a doll and receive visitors!_

She could sense his amusement, _Perhaps you should obtain a book on etiquette in the Houses, I am sure there must be one in the library!_

For the next hour, Sonea greeted a steady stream of magicians who came to see the new baby. Some of her particular friends, such as Rothen and her students, brought gifts for the new addition. High Lord Balkan came too, and gave her a gold medallion engraved with the High Lord's incal. "You can have your daughter's name engraved on the back," he said.

Sonea looked down at the growing pile of gifts in astonishment. Where she grew up, there may have been one or two small tokens given by the immediate family to the new child, but nothing like the number she had received already. The most magnificent gift had been sent by the King and Queen; it was a gold drinking goblet, set with jewels around the stem and base. It had been placed on the table, so all could admire it.

_We will need to decide on a name, soon_, Akkarin sent_. My parents will send someone to enquire so the House records can be amended. If they follow custom, they will send someone today._

_I have a name in mind and I hope you like it, _Sonea said, _I would like to call our daughter, Karine. I know it is not a traditional name, but I wanted a name close to yours, to remind everyone whose daughter she is._

There was no reaction from Akkarin at first, and Sonea held her breath. Then she heard him laugh, _You are a very determined woman,_ _Sonea,_ he sent. _People will begin to think you are obsessed with me!_

_I will not let them forget you and what you did, you should know that by now. If that is obsession, then I suppose I am obsessed. Your family, in particular, need to be reminded they cannot simply brush over your existence, calling their heir Karine will remind them of their son every time they speak her name!_

_I am content, _he sent, _Karine it is. _

Not long afterwards, Alkaria arrived in a cloud of perfume, dressed as always in exquisite finery, this time in dark blue and gold, with matching gold and sapphire jewels.

"Where is my niece?" she cried, "I want to see my very first niece!"

Sonea organised a chair for her and once Alkaria was settled, she passed over the baby for her aunt to hold. She peered at the bundle, moving the cloth so she could get a good look at her face. "She looks like me!" she said happily.

"She looks like her father," Sonea said gently. "Let me introduce you. This is Karine of family Delvon, House Velan. Karine, this is your aunt, Alkaria. I'm sure she will be a good friend to you as you are growing up."

Alkaria looked at Sonea, tears glinting in the corners of her eyes, "I have always wanted a sister and now I have you. I always wanted a niece or nephew, and now you have given me one. Karine, such a pretty name, I think it suits her!"

She bent down and fumbled with some packages at her feet. "I have been sent to enquire after the baby's name and you've told me that. Now I have to give you the traditional gifts. This one is from me." She held out a flat case.

Inside, Sonea, found a string of creamy pearls, each one perfectly matched. She looked up quickly at Alkaria, "They are lovely, but you shouldn't give a baby such an expensive gift."

Alkaria snorted, "She won't be a baby all her life. What's she going to wear when she starts attending balls and parties? Here," she held out another package, "This one is from father."

When Sonea opened it, she found a leather-covered book and a note. The note read "I didn't send this with the rest of Akkarin's things because I wanted to make sure it would belong to the baby." Sonea didn't know whether to be pleased Lukon had thought about giving the baby something special or to be annoyed at the inference that she would have not passed on Akkarin's things to his child. It was a book, filled with writing in Akkarin's neat flowing script.

_What is it?_ she asked him.

_It is a book of poems I wrote when I was growing up. I used to fancy myself as a literary genius! _

"This one is from mother." Alkaria was holding out another package, which turned out to be a piece of delicate white lace, large enough to make a shawl. The final gift, from Vettin and his wife, was another necklace, this time made of gold, with a pretty diamond pendant in the shape of the Eye, together with matching earrings.

"I am surprised all your family sent gifts," she said. "I didn't think they would want to."

Alkaria laughed, "Don't you remember what the King said? He said they had to make sure they provided everything for their heir. Well, birth gifts are part of that. They wouldn't dare not to send any!"

Vinara came over and fussed around Sonea for a few moments. "I think you should rest now, most of the visitors have gone and if Lady Alkaria could leave in a few minutes, it will be a good time for you to try to sleep."

After her apartment had emptied and there was only Sonea, Karine and Ishvanna left, she went and lay down on her bed, her daughter beside her. Her tiredness had lifted a little, although she still felt as if she could sleep for hours. She bent over and kissed the top of her child's head.

"That is a kiss from your father, who loves you and wishes he could be here to kiss you himself," she said. _And I wish he were here to kiss me too,_ she sent sleepily.


	36. A Puzzle

**Disclaimer: I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan**

**A Puzzle**

The High Lord poured two generous glasses of Kendil white and passed one to Vinara. She accepted it gratefully. _Wine seems to make these sorts of discussions go_ _better,_ she thought, _although I much prefer red wine, but as this is the High Lord's favourite, it just might keep him in a good mood._

Balkan sipped his wine and sat back with a satisfied sigh. "You can't beat a good Kendil white," he said. "You can keep all those full-bodied, fruity reds, give me a cool, crisp white any day. Right, what do you have to tell me, Vinara?"

The Healer contemplated her glass of wine for a moment, then looked up and said, "I've examined the baby, or Lady Karine, I should say! She is a healthy child and considering how long her mother was in labour, she seems to have suffered no ill effects. Sonea has also recovered very well from the birth and is now back to full health."

"Yes, yes, but what about her magic? That's the important thing here." Balkan sounded impatient. He had no children, and had never been a man very much interested in anyone before they turned sixteen.

"I tested Karine for magic as you requested. I don't have very much experience of testing one so young, but as far as I can tell, she looks as if she will be strong in magic like her mother. However, there is a long way to go before I can be definite about her strength. A lot can happen as a child grows."

Balkan took another sip, "So the increase in Sonea's strength cannot be simply down to the child, as we thought?"

"No, that's the puzzling thing, Sonea's magic is as strong now as before the child was born, in fact, her magic continues to increase in strength. I can't explain it; I have never experienced anything like it before. It's almost as if Sonea is accessing another source of magic and adding it to her own."

Balkan was silent, a frown creasing his brow as he took in Vinara's comments. As High Lord, he was responsible for all the magicians in the Guild, and the way they used their magic. There were accepted tasks which the Guild carried out, in return for the power to regulate its own affairs under the King's Law. That was why the Guild was happy to supply Healers to outlying communities, why Warriors would act to protect a village from attack by brigands and the Alchemists would provide the results of their experiments to help ordinary citizens, where appropriate. He was not sure about the position of black magic. To hear confirmation that Black Magician Sonea continued to be the strongest magician in the Guild, and with no signs that her power had reached its peak, was a considerable worry to him.

"Have you spoken to Sonea about all this, Vinara?"

"No, High Lord, I did what you asked, so only you and I know of the situation. Do you think we should discuss it with her?"

Balkan poured himself another glass. "I'm reluctant to raise the matter. My worry is that it may be a thing of forbidden magic. What if she discovered something in all that study with Akkarin and then in the books she has been reviewing which allows her to access power from another source, beyond the usual black magic practice of cutting and draining?"

Vinara sucked in her breath sharply, she had not considered a black magic angle. "I see, High Lord, why you might be concerned to mention it, but if it is a thing of black magic, she is the only one who can answer our questions. I wonder if it may be appropriate to see her and perhaps bring it into the conversation in some way?"

"Perhaps you are right." Balkan rang a small bell on his desk and when the servant answered, he sent him to find Sonea and discreetly ask her to come to the Residence straight away.

"I could have called her myself, but I'd rather not alert our fellows," he explained.

It wasn't too long before the servant showed Sonea into the room. She was carrying Karine and said, "I hope you don't mind, High Lord, but my nursemaid has gone into the city and I had no one to leave Karine with."

"No, of course, I understand," the High Lord said. Almost at the same time, Vinara said, "I would have been glad to get a Healer to keep an eye on the baby, Sonea, if only you had said."

The servant fetched Sonea some tea and she sat down with the baby on her lap, slowly sipping her tea and gazing at the two magicians. "What do you want to see me about?"

Vinara talked about her examination of the baby and how healthy she seemed. She went on, "The High Lord also asked me to assess her magical potential and, although she is very young, it seems she is likely to be strong like her parents."

Sonea seemed surprised that Karine had been tested, but said nothing. She continued sipping her tea in silence. Vinara asked one or two questions about her health and how well she was sleeping and whether or not Karine was a good sleeper and so on. Sonea answered them all patiently, but it was obvious that she was growing increasingly suspicious about the questions and why she had been called to the Residence.

Balkan cleared his throat, "There is one other matter you may be able to help us with Sonea," he said. "During her examinations while you were pregnant, Vinara noticed that your power was growing. It continued to grow and at first, she thought that perhaps the baby was particularly strong, but that doesn't seem to be the case. The baby has magic and most likely will be a strong magician, but her power is nowhere near strong enough to account for what happened to you. Since the child has been born, your power has continued to grow and neither Vinara nor myself understand why this is. Do you?"

While the High Lord had been speaking, Sonea had gone very still and her face grew very pale. _You do know something_, thought Vinara, _but will you tell us what it is?_

Sonea said firmly, "You have known this about my power for all these months and said nothing to me? I find that very unusual. What could possibly have been your reasons?"

Vinara snorted, _You always manage to make us sound like the villains here and yourself the innocent! _she thought disapprovingly.

Vinara said in a reassuring tone, "It's quite common for things to be kept from a mother-to-be, Sonea, especially if she'd had a difficult time during the pregnancy. You were faced with the loss of Akkarin and all the worry about guardianship of the child, so I thought it would be better to wait until you were stronger."

That seemed to be the right approach, because Sonea relaxed a little and she nodded. "Yes, I'm sorry, I can see why you might have not wanted to upset me."

"So can you think of any reason why your power should be getting stronger? Has it anything to do with your black magic studies?" the High Lord asked.

"I have not practised black magic since the fighting, High Lord, as I don't have permission. I will need to ask soon, though, because my students are nearly at the point where they are ready to take the next step. However, in relation to your question, I cannot think of any black magic procedures I might have carried out in the past, which would result in permanent and growing increase in my power. As you know, the techniques that High Lord Akkarin and I used involved a temporary increase only."

Vinara narrowed her eyes at Sonea's reply. She couldn't rid herself of the feeling that Sonea knew more about this than she was letting on. _But how to prove it?_ she thought. Over the next few minutes, Vinara and Balkan discussed the mystery of Sonea's power increase but without getting any answers. In the end Sonea agreed to look at the black magic texts to see if there were any clues there.

"I would ask you not to discuss this with any other magicians, apart from Vinara and myself, for obvious reasons," Balkan fixed Sonea with a hard stare. "I don't want unnecessary concerns raised in the Guild."

After she had gone, Balkan said, "Well, we'll have to see if she can explain it. I'll try to see her in a week or two, to see what she has discovered, if anything. It's quite a puzzle and one I'd like solved as soon as possible!"

Sonea hurried back to her rooms, set the locks and went into her bedchamber. She settled her daughter into the cot and sat down in the armchair.

_Akkarin? Did you hear what they said?_

_Yes, I've been thinking about it and there is only one thing it can be – somehow you are registering both your own power and mine. Anyone testing you would simply see it as a steady increase in your strength._

_What can I do about it, Akkarin?_

_As a temporary measure, you can discharge the excess power into the Arena. Your students are still working on their Warrior training aren't they? Well no one would think anything of it if you went to see them perform and strengthened the Arena as part of the process._

_That won't solve the basic problem. I'll need to do something else!_ Sonea sounded upset. She didn't want to give Vinara or anyone else an excuse to start messing around with her power, or worse still, reading her mind.

_Don't worry, I'll work on it. There's a couple of days until you come to me, so I have plenty of time to give it a lot of careful thought. I'm sure there is an answer, it's just finding it_. She sensed a flow of calming thoughts from Akkarin. _Try not to let it upset you._

Sonea smiled gratefully, I_ am so glad I have you to talk to, I'd go mad here otherwise. There's absolutely no one else I can turn to!_

Akkarin's mental presence registered strong amusement, _Of course, I weren't here, you wouldn't have these problems to worry about and no need of anyone to discuss them with!_


	37. Dreaming

**Disclaimer: I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan**

**Dreaming**

Sonea settled herself in the rocking chair and took the baby from Ishvanna's arms.

"You may go now, I will feed Karine and put her to bed myself."

Ishvanna made the quaint bob she had adopted since becoming Karine's nursemaid and left the bedchamber, quietly shutting the door behind her. Sonea loosened her clothing and made Karine comfortable. _It was very pleasant_, she thought, _sitting in this rocking chair, with Karine nursing contentedly. It gives me time to think. _Others might find it strange that she had chosen to feed the baby herself, rather than employ a wet nurse, but Sonea didn't feel obliged to follow all the customs of the Houses. She felt it very important for a mother to feed her own baby. _We have this very tranquil time together, to get to_ _know each other, to bond_, she thought.

The rocking chair had been a gift from one of the Healers, and Sonea was very grateful for it. She had positioned it so that she was facing Akkarin's portrait; she could look at it easily and also let Karine see it. She wasn't too sure if the child could actually see the picture clearly yet, but it probably wouldn't be too long and Sonea was determined that Karine should know her father very well indeed.

Sonea stared at the portrait. It had been painted in the year that Akkarin had become High Lord and showed him, dressed in his robes, standing in one of the rooms in the Residence. _He looks so young_, she thought. _It's hard to believe that the Guild, where so many magicians were quite a lot older, would have elected such a young man to lead them. His power and strength must have frightened them. _She continued to look closely at the painting. It was a very good likeness and she remembered those times when she lived in the Residence and had been forced to meet with him on a daily basis. For a long time, she was only truly aware of a tall figure, dressed in black, who appeared quietly and often unexpectedly. She had made it a rule not to look at him more than she needed to and never to examine his features so there were no details in her memory-picture of him.

_For a long time, I didn't even know he was good-looking_, she thought ruefully. _I simply wished never to be in his company and when I had to be, I wanted to leave as quickly as possible._

The baby gurgled and Sonea spent some time cuddling her and settling her down to nurse again. She looked at Karine. Now she was a few weeks older, her features were becoming clearer and she was going to be the image of her father. She already had his straight dark hair and his eyes. She was long-limbed for her age too, Vinara had commented on it the last time she had examined her. Sonea was very pleased, as she was not keen on her own features, regarding them as rather ordinary and she had always wished to be taller.

Sonea returned her gaze to the portrait. _The High Lord_. Once those three little words had created a feeling of terror in her. _I baited him_, she thought, _trying to find the most wounding things I could think of so that he would never think of me other than as an enemy. And through it all, he remained calm, distant even, and did not rise to my verbal attacks, nor retaliate in any way. _Sonea made an exasperated noise. _I never really thought about it at the time, but apart from taking me away from Rothen and making me his Novice, he did nothing to injure me at all!_

_Then, one day, my mind began to see him differently. I don't know when it was or why it occurred, it was all happening deep in my mind and I was unaware of it. My brain must have registered just how handsome he was and how compelling those eyes were and how attractively mysterious that black-robed figure was. _She suddenly realised where her thoughts were taking her and began to think very strongly of fast flowing waterfalls. It would not be good for Akkarin to listen to these thoughts; he already had a tendency to be conceited at times!

_It must have been before he let me into the secret of black magic,_ she thought, _because I was ready and willing to learn about it, and I wouldn't have done so, if I still feared him._

She began to dream about what might have been, if she had realised a lot sooner that she found Akkarin attractive. After all, it was really not all that surprising. He was only in his early thirties and she almost twenty, it wasn't as if he had been a typical High Lord, a man in his fifties, sixties or even seventies.

"How might it have happened?" she asked Karine. "Perhaps he came home late one evening and needed help with something. Perhaps I would have needed to hand him something and our fingers touched or I had something in my eye and he had to stand very close to me to take it out." Karine looked at her with unblinking eyes as if she was enjoying the conversation.

Sonea's brain went on and on, thinking up various little scenes, which would have meant they needed to touch or stand very close together. "Then we would look into each other's eyes and somehow we would both have known. It would be inevitable that we would kiss and once we kissed, there would have been no stopping what happened next!"

Sonea pictured Akkarin in his voluminous black silk robes, like a gorgeous present, and how much she wanted to unwrap him. Her face grew hot as she mentally undid the laces and hooks, pushing off layers and layers of silk until the powerful Warrior's body was exposed to her gaze, like a warm marble statue lying on a bed of black silk.

She suddenly laughed softly, "It's a good job you can't tell what I am thinking, Karine! You are much too young, but one day, I'll tell you all about your father and I."

Sonea continued to rock gently and think about her lover. All the time she had known him, he had been decisive, thinking ahead, planning a specific course of action to deal with the problems he faced. And he had been successful, right up until the time the Ichani had unexpectedly got his knife inside their shield. Now, because of her, he was trapped in a tiny environment, a few rooms and a garden, completely alone except for her and she was unable to be with him as much as she would have liked.

_How can he bear it?_ she wondered. _He says he is happy. He says he had accepted death and now finds his continued existence an unexpected bonus, but is that really true? I really need to find a way to get him out of there and back into the world where he belongs._

Later that day, after Karine had been laid in her cot to sleep, with Ishvanna to look after her, Sonea went to her bedchamber and set the magical locks, ready for her visit to Akkarin. She followed her usual routine, a warm, scented bath, a vigorous brushing of her wildly curly hair, and the choice of a new gown to wear. Then she lay down and closed her eyes, sending her mind on its familiar journey to Akkarin.

He was not in the guest room, which surprised her a little. She moved towards the door to see if he were in the garden. As she did so, a tall, dark figure slowly rose from a chair in the shadows by the corner. To Sonea's surprise, she was confronted by the High Lord, fully robed, with the familiar dispassionate look on his face.

"Good evening Sonea," he said unsmilingly.

Without thinking, she blurted, "Good evening High Lord!" before stopping with her hand over her mouth.

"I'm afraid your waterfall had some interruption in its flow today. Your thoughts were very loud and extremely entertaining at times," Akkarin said, a slight hint of amusement in his voice. "So, here is your gift. Are you going to unwrap it?"


	38. The Mind of a Child

**Disclaimer: I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan.**

The Mind of a Child

Sonea breathed in deeply, the smells from the herb and flower stalls brought back so many happy childhood memories. She hadn't been in the market for months, so she was happy to look around and kill time until her guide appeared. The market was busy, but around her there was a people-free bubble. Her black magician's robes marked her out from the rest of the citizens and although many of them knew who she was, they were not keen to come close to her.

She had been waiting for twenty minutes, and had taken the opportunity to buy a hot pie and a drink from the stall she used to visit whenever she had any money. Old Gertin, who used to tease her unmercifully, now treated her with exaggerated reverence, so much so, that she was acutely embarrassed and moved away quickly.

The note, which brought her to the market, had been pushed under her door sometime during the night. It was short and simply said that Cery needed to see her urgently and she should come to Market Square before ten o'clock.

_What does Cery want?_ she had thought grumpily, _Now I've got to get permission to leave the Guild and I can't think of a reason just like that!_

The severe restrictions on her movements were, perhaps, the most irritating thing Sonea found about her new status. For some reason, the High Lord and his Council seemed to think a Black Magician posed such a threat, that she could not even be trusted to go into the town to visit the market unless permission had been obtained first. Usually they needed to know how long she would be "outside" too.

It had taken her a while to find Lord Osen to obtain permission, but luckily he was very busy and hadn't been really interested in her reasons. He had insisted, however, that she return by midday.

So here she was, strolling around the market, trying not to look too conspicuous, which was a challenge dressed the way she was. She felt a touch on her arm and turned quickly to find Cery standing next to her. He pulled her into a narrow lane, out of sight.

"You need to change out of those clothes," he said.

"I can't, Cery, you know I have to wear them in public." Sonea sounded exasperated.

Cery sighed, "I know, but I have genuine reasons, which I'll explain in a minute. Come in here!" He pulled open and door and she found herself in a clean, well-furnished room. There was a bundle of clothes on the table and Cery told her to change and not argue. He turned his back as she scrambled out of her robes and into the green shirt and grey trousers provided. They were of surprisingly good quality and there was a fine, dark green cloak to go with them.

"Now, will you tell me what this is all about?" Sonea turned to face him, her gaze firmly fixed on his face.

Cery spoke quickly, "We have found a survivor from the fighting near the Guild who was badly injured. He is better now, but he is terrified of magicians. Even the sight of one in the distance causes him to run away. So, you need to be just another ordinary person, he must not know you are a magician."

"Is he an Ichani?" she asked, but Cery shook his head. "Then I don't know why you need me," she went on, "You need a Healer, not a Black Magician."

"You will understand, when you see him. He's not here; I'll have to take you. It's not far away."

He led her through a number of narrow passages and lanes, which twisted and turned, so she was completely lost after a few minutes. Cery led the way into a dark, narrow passage, lined with old, tumbledown buildings. They walked down the passage until they arrived at the shabby door of an old run-down cottage. Cery knocked a brief code and the door opened. He pushed Sonea in quickly and locked the door behind her.

_Sonea? Be careful, I am not sure about this_, Akkarin's mental presence felt uncertain. It was unusual for him to suddenly speak to her like this.

_What do you mean?_ she sent, but he was silent.

While this mental exchange had been going on, a door opened at the far end of the room and a man came in. He seemed familiar to Sonea, but she couldn't quite recognise him. As he moved further into the room, where there was more light, she suddenly caught her breath.

"Takan!" Sonea could hardly believe her eyes. " I thought you must have been killed in the fighting."

Takan came over to her and took her hand, "It's so good to see you again, my lady." He looked at her curiously for a moment, puzzlement showing briefly on his face. " I have only been here a short time, the Thief is looking after me and my companion."

"Why didn't you come back to the Guild? You must have known I would have looked after you." She suddenly registered what he had said, "Your companion? Is that the man frightened of magicians that Cery told me about?"

Takan nodded. "Yes, I found him after the fighting and did the best I could to treat his injuries. Come, you must have a look at him."

Takan took Sonea into the other room. There she saw a man lying on a bed, his face turned to the wall. She moved closer, until she could see a shock of grey streaked hair. Takan reached across and tapped the man on the shoulder. As he began to turn Sonea could see the livid scars on his face. Slowly, almost painfully, the man sat up and she could see him clearly. She gave a shocked gasp.

"Lorlen! It's Lorlen! What's happened to him?"

Cery spoke, "It's a long story. Come and sit down and we'll tell you everything."

There was a table and several chairs in a corner of the room and as Takan led Lorlen over to them, Cery and Sonea sat down. There was a jug of fruit juice and some glasses on the table and Cery poured everyone a drink. Sonea stared curiously at Lorlen and was dismayed to see his dull expression and lifeless eyes. He sat where Taken showed him and took no part in the conversation or even appeared to be listening as Cery and Takan explained what had happened.

"What do you want me to do?" she asked when they had finished. "I can't Heal him, my skills are not good enough. He really ought to be at the Guild."

_Sonea, you should see if you can read his mind,_ Akkarin sent. _It might help you decide if you can help him._

Takan stared at Sonea for a moment, then looked round the room. His eyes returned to Sonea and he gazed at her steadily. She found his intense regard extremely uncomfortable and could find no reason for it.

"Perhaps I should try to read his mind," she said, "I should be able to do it without disturbing him too much."

The others needed agreement, so she rose and went to stand next to him. Lorlen's empty eyes looked at her briefly, before returning to the surface of the table, which held his attention. Sonea put her hands on Lorlen's temples and slipped into his mind.

She found herself in a half-ruined room. There was very little light, but she could see piles of broken furniture and smashed objects scattered around.

_You need to go deeper_, Akkarin said. _There is nothing here_.

She saw a doorway, the door itself hanging drunkenly from its hinges, and went into the next room. This one was in the same state as the other, as was the next room and the next. Eventually, Sonea came to a long, dark hallway, completely empty, with a door right at the end. She slowly moved towards the door, and tried the handle, but it wouldn't open.

_What should I do_? she asked Akkarin. She was not as experienced as he at rummaging around in people's minds and was afraid of causing even more damage to Lorlen.

_You need to open it, see if there is a magic lock_.

She examined it carefully for a long time. There was something there, but she couldn't quite see what it was. She tried again, nothing. She went back to examining every part of the door and eventually found a trace of a magical lock, but it was not one that she had come across before. She carefully began to isolate elements of the magic, untwisting each strand, until she could see the whole. Once that image was clear, she could open the lock.

There was a click, and she was able to open the door. On the other side, she found a prison cell. It was cold and bare, with sturdy bars on the tiny window. There was a wooden bed against one wall, roughly made and with one threadbare blanket. Sitting, naked, on the blanket was a small, thin child about five years old. The boy was hunched up and was crying silently.

_Careful,_ warned Akkarin. _That is how Lorlen sees himself now_.

Sonea moved quietly over to the bed and put her hand gently on the boy's back. He jumped as he felt her hand and squeezed himself tightly against the wall and began to scream, loud, piercing screams, which went on and on. She tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't listen and just went on screaming. She tried everything she could think of to calm him down, but nothing helped.

_Leave him now, it would be better to try again later_. _I doubt you will be able to do anything with him in this state. _Akkarin's mental voice was calm.

Sonea agreed and began to move quietly out of the cell, as she stepped out into the hallway, the door swung closed behind her and she heard the click as the lock engaged. She tried the handle, but the door was again locked fast.

She opened her eyes and took her hands away from Lorlen's face. She explained to the others what had happened.

"It seems that Lorlen's mind sees him as a very small, frightened child, and it has locked him in a prison cell. I don't know why, nor do I know why he is frightened of magicians. I will need to try again, after I have done some research. Even then, I don't know if I will be able to deal with whatever is causing the problem. Can you keep him here, until I try again?"

"Takan and Lorlen can stay here as long as necessary," Cery said. "I will look after them."

It was getting towards midday and Sonea need to get back to the Guild. _If I am late, it will give them an excuse not to let me go next time,_ she thought. She explained her need to return quickly to the Guild. Just as she was about to leave, Takan came over to her, took her hand and drew her into a corner.

"Where is Akkarin?" he said quietly.

Sonea sighed, "He is dead, Takan, you know that."

Takan looked at her earnestly, "Lady Sonea, I can hear him. I have been hearing him very faintly for months, but when I am near to you, I can hear him more strongly. Where is he?"

_What shall I say?_ she sent, but, of course, there was no answer.

"Takan, I can't explain what you think you can hear. Akkarin is buried in the cemetery at the Guild, you can go and look for yourself."

Takan smiled briefly, " I have been there already. No, I know that Akkarin is not there and I know that he is not dead. We must talk of this again, Lady Sonea."


	39. Searching for Solutions

**Disclaimer: I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan**

Searching for Solutions

Sonea returned to the Guild just before midday in a state of agitation. The meeting Cery had requested had turned out to be completely different to anything she had imagined. To find Lorlen alive, was in itself astonishing after all this time, but the fact that Takan could hear Akkarin was a serious worry.

_It must be the blood gem link_, Akkarin had said. _Somehow, the link was not destroyed with the death of my body. I have no knowledge of this ever happening before. There was nothing in the records which even hinted that such a thing was possible._

_Do you trust him? _Sonea had asked.

_With my life, _he had replied.

So now there were two problems to try to find answers for; what could be done to help Lorlen and what to do about Takan. Lorlen, though, was the priority. There was no telling whether or not his mental problems would take a toll on his physical health.

After a hurried lunch, Sonea went to the library to search through some of the books about Healing. Although, initially, she had been very interested in Healing and had considered the possibility of choosing it as her Discipline, her later work with Akkarin had meant that she had not kept up her in-depth studies, so she had many gaps in her knowledge. She spent over an hour pouring over several books but was no nearer to an answer.

_Akkarin? It's no good, I need to speak to a Healer. I'm not really sure what I am looking for._

_It would be best to talk to Vinara, she's the most experienced, _Akkarin replied.

Sonea had been hoping to find another, easier solution. She had not had the best of relationships with Vinara in recent months, mainly because she felt that the Healer resented her due to her origins in the slums. She sighed, _I know you're right, but I was hoping not to have to go to her, but it's hopeless trying to do this on my own._

She found Vinara in her office in the Healers' Quarters and for once, the Healer wasn't rushed off her feet and seemed pleased to see her. After answering Vinara's questions about Karine's health, Sonea got round to the reason for her visit. She explained the background to Lorlen's current state of health, without naming him or indicating it was a result of the recent fighting. She described what she'd found when she'd attempted a mind-read.

"I don't know if you have come across this sort of problem before, but I wondered if you knew how best to deal with it."

Vinara had been making some brief notes while Sonea had been talking and she thought for a moment before answering.

"What you are describing is not common, but is not particularly rare either. A severe physical shock can cause a lot of mental problems and what you describe, a naked child locked in a bare room, is a perfect visual representation of a mind, which is terrified of venturing out into the world again. The answer is to bring this man into the Guild and let us take care of him. We can keep him perfectly calm and safe here and take as much time as necessary to help him."

"I thought so too, but this man is petrified of magic and magicians. The people who found him first tried to take him to the Guild and he began raving and fighting, so they had to take him away. It seems even the sight of robes can cause a fit."

Vinara smiled thinly, "We can overcome that, if there are enough of us to capture him and get him to drink a calming potion. Once he is here, there are specially designed rooms for potentially violent patients. Of course, we may not be able to completely cure him, but we can make him comfortable."

"Thank you for your suggestions, Vinara. I'll think it over and perhaps see him again, to see if there is any improvement." Sonea stood up and prepared to leave, but was halted by Vinara's voice, speaking with authority and firmness.

"You have to tell me where this man is and I must take him into the Guild. There is no question of you "thinking things over". This man has to be put in the care of Healers immediately."

Sonea stared coolly at Vinara. "I will not tell you where he is until I've had a chance to see him again. I know what it is like to be terrified of the Guild and be brought here against my will. I will not do that to another person unless there is no option."

Vinara snorted, "One day you will stop flinging your origins in the face of anyone who has a different view of things to you. Not everything which happens here revolves around you, Sonea. I am a Healer. I act in the best interests of my patients. This man needs help now."

Sonea opened her mouth to reply when Akkarin's mental voice sounded loudly in her mind. _She's right, Sonea. This isn't about you, it's about what is best for Lorlen. Calm down and think rationally. _

Sonea swallowed what she'd been about to say and instead said, "I'm sorry, Vinara. You are right, of course. But I would still like to have some time to think about this situation before I tell you where he is."

As Vinara reluctantly agreed, Sonea made her escape before she said something she might regret later. There was just something about the Head of the Healers, which rubbed Sonea up the wrong way.

Later, she made the necessary arrangements for a visit to Akkarin. Ishvanna was despatched with Karine for an airing in the gardens. Sonea's bedchamber door was set with its magical lock and she was settled in her rocking chair. She closed her eyes and went searching. When she opened them, she was in the guest room of Akkarin's apartment. He was sitting on the banquette, casually dressed, as usual while she had forgotten to take off her robes. He smiled and held out a glass of wine, which she accepted gratefully.

"What a day! I still can't believe it – Lorlen and Takan – both alive and with Cery!"

Akkarin sipped his wine slowly before replying, "It is amazing to think that both of them were together all this time. But I am so sorry to see Lorlen like that. He does not deserve it and perhaps it would have been better for him not to have survived."

Sonea was surprised, "But Lorlen is your friend, I would have thought you would have been very pleased that he survived."

"Not like that, not with his mind gone." Akkarin said sadly, "He was such a great companion when we were novices together, quick witted and clever. I hate to see him empty and afraid."

"I'm afraid of what the Guild will do to him," Sonea said. "What Vinara was describing sounded very harsh. She wasn't even certain that they would succeed in curing him, either. Getting him to the Guild, overcoming his terror of magic and magicians, locking him in some sort of special room for mentally ill patients, all of this and it still may not lead to a cure!"

They were both silent for a time, slowly sipping the wine and thinking about Lorlen. After a while, Sonea began to get the glimmerings of an idea. She couldn't see yet how to bring it about, but she was sure it would be possible. She turned to Akkarin.

"There is something we could think about. Lorlen has almost recovered from his physical injuries, in a few weeks, he will be almost back to normal. What he lacks is a functioning mind and what you lack is a functioning body. Why don't we consider if it would be possible for you to …"her voice trailed away as she saw Akkarin's face. He had gone very pale and a look of horror flashed across his face before it settled into his cold, remote expression.

"You expect me to inhabit Lorlen's body, casting out, I suppose, what is left of him, that poor child in the prison cell." His voice was icy, "You want me to steal my friend's body?"

Sonea was startled. This was not the reaction she had expected. If Vinara was right and it was likely no cure could be found for Lorlen, would it not be better for his friend to use his body and live in the world again? She couldn't see why this would not be an acceptable solution.

Akkarin had risen to his feet and started to pace around the room. He was obviously very angry.

"I can't believe you would even think such a thing, let alone suggest it, Sonea. You seem to have an obsession with finding a body for me to inhabit – don't deny it, I have heard you thinking about it several times! I have told you, I am perfectly content here, yet you seem to think I am lying to you."

"Have you thought this through at all? Let's say we were successful in transferring what is left of me into Lorlen's body, what then? Would you go to the King and say you were tired of being Akkarin's widow and wanted to be Lorlen's wife instead!"

"What about Karine? Do you think Lukon would leave his heir with a "stepfather" from another House? Do you want to destroy everything Merin did for you and Karine?"

Sonea felt herself wilting under the verbal blows Akkarin threw at her. She had never seen him so angry before and she didn't know what to do. She realised, too, that a lot of what he said was true, she hadn't thought things through at all.

"Akkarin, please, I'm sorry….." She could feel tears gathering in her eyes and tried to will them away. "Akkarin, please sit down. Let's talk about this. I'm sorry…I'm sorry…."

But Akkarin didn't sit down, he continued moving about the room, as if trying to work out his anger through physical means. Sonea stopped trying to talk to him, and simply sat and waited for the storm to subside, tears sliding unheeded down her cheeks.

It seemed hours to her, but was probably only a few minutes later, when he stopped pacing and, grabbing the wine bottle from the table, poured himself a large glass of Anuran Dark and swallowed it in one gulp.

Without looking at her, he said, "I think you had better go back now and take some time to think things through properly."

"Akkarin…." but he didn't turn to face her. "I'm sorry….." It was useless so Sonea shut her eyes and opened them in her own room. She covered her face with her hands and began to sob. This was the first time she had had a serious falling out with Akkarin. For the first time since their time in the cave in Sachaka, they hadn't kissed each other goodbye and she was afraid.

_Akkarin?_

_Akkarin?_

He didn't answer and there was no sense of his presence in her mind. _Just like it was in the beginning, before I knew he was there,_ she thought. _I can't go back to that again! _She wondered if he could prevent her from going to his rooms, but didn't want to put it to the test. As far as she knew, he might be able to make himself invisible to her, and she would never be able to find him.

_I have to put it right somehow,_ she thought. _I can't go back to being alone._


	40. Revelation

**Disclaimer: I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan**

Revelation

Rothen settled down in his favourite corner of the Night Room. It had been a hectic few days, preparing his students for their examinations and then spending hours marking papers. He was due for some relaxation. He looked around, but couldn't see any of his particular friends. _Well, it is a bit early_, he thought, reaching for his wine and tartlets.

He hadn't been there long, before Vinara came over and sat beside him.

"You haven't been here for a while, Rothen, exams taking their toll?" she smiled at him knowingly. "You should try more practical examinations like we Healers do, it is much less demanding!"

Rothen grinned at her. They had known each other since they joined the Guild and with Dorrien choosing Healing as his Discipline, they had had a lot of contact over the years. He had always been fond of her and welcomed her company. They exchanged a few bits of gossip and Rothen passed on the humorous bits of Dannyl's latest communications.

Vinara looked over at him, her face serious, "Have you seen anything of Sonea recently?" she asked. "She came to see me over a week ago and was rather upset when she left. She promised to come back in a day or so, but I haven't seen her since. As far as I know, she hasn't been out of her rooms, except to see her students."

Rothen frowned, trying to remember the last time he had seen Sonea, "No," he said slowly, "I haven't seen her for ages. The last time, I think, was a few weeks after Karine was born and I saw her in the gardens."

Vinara grimaced, "I'm rather worried. I sent her a note a couple of days ago, but she hasn't replied. Would you do me a favour? She's always been fond of you; perhaps you could drop in on her, unannounced. I'm sure she'd let you in. I really need to know how she is."

"Of course, Vinara, I'll call round now, on my way back home."

Rothen knocked on Sonea's door, but there was no response. He knocked again, wondering what he could do if there was no reply. After what seemed to be a long time, he heard Sonea's voice.

"Who is it?"

"Rothen, Sonea, please open the door."

There was a delay, then the door opened and Sonea appeared. She was dressed in a black shirt and trousers, with her hair bound back, like a man. There were dark circles under her eyes and she didn't look very pleased to see him.

"What do you want, Rothen?" she sounded weary, but Rothen was not going to be deterred from talking to her.

"Let me in and I'll tell you," he said.

She sighed, "I suppose you won't go away until you've spoken to me," she said, motioning him into her guest room. "Tea?"

He nodded and she disappeared into the kitchen. While she was gone, he looked round the room. Some more ornaments, pictures and books had appeared, giving the room a cosy, homely appearance. Sonea soon reappeared with the tea and some cakes, which she placed on the small table near the fireplace. They sat down in the fireside chairs and Rothen took the opportunity to examine her closely. She certainly looked tired, and her actions spoke of weariness. _She looks very much like she did just after Akkarin died_, he thought.

"Well, Rothen?"

He took a mouthful of hot tea, giving him time to think, "I haven't seen you around much recently and wondered how you were. Babies can take up a lot of time, I remember when Dorrien was born, I hardly saw my wife from one day to another."

Sonea gave him a hard look, "Who sent you to see me?"

Rothen smiled ruefully, "If you must know, Vinara saw me this evening in the Night Room. She mentioned that you were supposed to see her a few days ago and you hadn't answered her note."

She laughed humourlessly, "I might have known Vinara would have been at the bottom of this. Sometimes I wish that woman would mind her own business!"

"Vinara has a lot of time for her patients, and worries about them," he said mildly.

Sonea gazed into her cup, her face expressionless. "She has no need to worry about me. I can sort my own problems out. She always has been quick to interfere."

Rothen was silent for a few moments. He could see that Sonea was tense and there was something eating away at her, but he didn't quite see how he could raise the matter. He remembered her early days in the Guild and how difficult it had been to get at her real thoughts. He had to try and break through the barriers she erected.

"Look, Sonea, it is obvious that there is something weighing heavily on your mind. You look as if you haven't been sleeping properly and shutting yourself away here, avoiding everyone, isn't going to solve whatever it is upsetting you."

She didn't answer, but stared at the portrait of Akkarin hanging over the fireplace. As she looked at it, Rothen was surprised to see tears glittering in her eyes. _She never cries,_ he thought, _not through her difficulties as a novice, not at the Hearing, not even when Akkarin died, so what is making her cry now?_

"Sonea…" he started, but she interrupted him, "Oh go away Rothen! Leave me alone!" and put her hands over her face as the tears spilled over and poured down her cheeks.

He stayed still, years of dealing with his son and other distressed novices told him to let her cry for a few minutes, to get it out of her system. He'd be there, when she needed to talk. After a few minutes, she got up to fetch a handkerchief and wiped her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Rothen. It's not your fault," she said at last, looking directly at him. "You're right, I do have a problem. I've been trying to deal with it for several days, and I can't seem to find a way forward. But you can't help me, it's something I have to do for myself."

Rothen thought of, then dismissed, all the platitudes about problems shared. Sonea was not the sort of girl to respond to that approach. There was only one approach he could take.

"Sonea, I've said several times that I think of you as a daughter and I hope you regard me like a father. I brought you into the Guild and have tried to look after you as best I could. You can trust me, you know that. I may not be able to solve your problem, but I can listen to it. That sometimes helps. Talking it over might make it clearer in your own mind, rather than letting your thoughts chase round and round like a mouse in a cage."

She was silent again, turning the damp handkerchief over and over in her hands. She glanced at the picture, then back at Rothen, then down at her hands. She twisted the ring on her marriage finger and looked back at the portrait. Rothen waited, hardly daring to move. _She is almost ready_, he thought. Finally she looked up at Rothen.

"Yes I do trust you and yes, I do think of you as a father in many ways. But, if I am going to tell you, you must swear an oath by the Eye of Heaven that you will not tell anyone anything of what I say."

He paused, before replying. Swearing an oath by the Eye was the most solemn oath any Kyralian could make, and the consequences of betraying that oath were best not thought about. "I am willing to swear that oath, Sonea," he said finally.

She sighed, a long, deep sigh, "Rothen, how much do you know about the mind-places that belong to lovers?"

Rothen's mouth opened in surprise, of all the things she could have said, this was the least expected. "I know what they are and why they are used. My wife and I had one."

"I have one too, it was made by Akkarin while we were in exile and he showed me how it was used. Did you go back to yours, after your wife died?"

"Yes," he said quietly, "Only once. It was cold and empty. All our things were there, but she was not and the place would never be the same again, so I never went back."

"I have been back to ours, and Akkarin is still there, a living, breathing man who inhabits our place as though he were in rooms in the Guild." She looked at him and laughed bitterly. "I've finally shocked you, haven't I? You think I have fallen into madness at last!"

Rothen didn't know what to say. He remembered all those times she had talked about Akkarin as if he were still alive, about her confession that she talked to him in her head, sometimes; how he'd thought she was affected by grief and was not thinking straight.

Sonea looked at him and smiled briefly, "I'll tell you all about it, but remember your oath, no one must know about any of this." And she began her tale, starting with those last few minutes before she destroyed the Ichani and ending with birth of Karine. She talked about finding Akkarin still alive, of their meetings, the decision to restrict her time there, the work they still did together and Rothen found himself thinking how logical it all seemed.

When she had finished, she looked at him carefully, searching his face, before looking away. "You don't believe me," she said, "I can see it in your eyes."

"I don't know what to say! You have to admit, Sonea, it all sounds very improbable. Grief can do a lot of damage to people, especially when death is unexpected. You lost Akkarin only a short time after you became lovers, it's only to be expected that your mind would want him to live and find ways to make you believe it."

"You remember I used to visit his grave every day? Everyone tried to stop me, but I refused. I needed to go, so I could still feel close to him. Then I stopped – just like that - and I've not been since. Did you wonder why? I stopped going when I found Akkarin again in our mind-place. Did you ever wonder why I was so strong in my resolve to be considered bound to Akkarin, that I have said I will never marry anyone else? It is because we are still together, or at least, we were." Her face clouded over and she looked down at her ring again.

"You wanted to know what was troubling me. Well, eight days ago Akkarin and I had a most terrible argument and I have not seen or heard from him since. I have not been back to the mind-place, nor has he answered when I have called him and I cannot sense him in my mind." She looked at him, tears once more in her eyes, "I have to get him to answer me and I don't know how to."

Rothen's thoughts were in a whirl. He didn't know what to think, it was true what he'd said, it was improbable; but everything came down to one of two choices, either Sonea was mad and she had imagined Akkarin was there in her mind, or she was not and he was really there. Although everything in his logical Alchemist's mind shouted that what Sonea was convinced of was impossible, in his heart, he did believe her.

"Do you believe that Akkarin loves you?" he asked.

Sonea nodded, "Yes, I believe that he does, as I love him. We love each other very much."

"Then why don't you simply go back and find him and make him listen to you?" he said.

She looked at him, her face pale, her eyes red-rimmed, "Because I am afraid that when I go, he will not be there. That somehow he has found a way to disappear and I will be really alone for the rest of my life."

She got up abruptly and went over to a cupboard, "I need something stronger than tea! Some wine, Rothen?" She took out a bottle of Anuran Dark and two glasses. Returning to her chair, she poured the wine and passed a glass to Rothen.

He looked into its depth for a moment, then took a sip. "Can Akkarin hear you?" he asked.

"Yes, all my thoughts and any conversations I have with people, if he chooses to listen."

"Everything we've said, he can hear?" Sonea nodded. "If he won't speak to you, then you have no choice, you must go to your mind-place and make him listen to you." _I can't believe I'm really saying this,_ he thought in bemusement. _If anyone else could hear us, they'd think we were both insane!_

"I know….It's just that I am afraid of what I will find. He was so angry with me, I have never seen him like that before."

"What was the quarrel about?" Rothen asked.

But Sonea shook her head, "I'm not going to tell you that, I can hardly bear to think about it myself." She finished her wine and put the glass down. "You were right, Rothen. It does help to talk to someone else, but you can see why I didn't want anyone to know what was wrong. People would think I was completely mad. I cannot be truth-read because of the black magic, so it's only my word against other people's suspicions. I was worried I would lose Karine."

She stood up, "I wonder if you would mind leaving now. I need to think and I do that best alone. Thank you for everything." As he stood up, she put her arms around him and hugged him for a moment. "You are a father to me and I do trust you, but do not forget your oath."

On his way back to his apartment, Rothen mulled over his discussion with Sonea. It did sound far-fetched and if anyone else had come out with that sort of story, he would have been the first to dismiss it. But he knew Sonea well. She would not lie about such a thing as this; neither did she show any other signs of madness or irrational behaviour, so the only conclusion was that she was telling the truth.

_Now I will have to think of something to tell Vinara which will not arouse her suspicions_, he thought.


	41. Resolution

**Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan**

**Resolution**

As the door closed behind Rothen, Sonea breathed a huge sigh of relief. It had been quite a risk telling him the truth, but he was one of the few people she trusted. He was honest and decent, just the sort of father figure a frightened young dwell, who suddenly found herself in the midst of magicians, had needed all those years ago. And nothing had changed over the years. He still was protective towards her and she was very, very fond of him.

Now, she must decide what to do. _I am sure Rothen is right_, she thought. _I must go to find Akkarin and make him talk to me._ She ignored the tiny voice in the back of her mind, which said, _What if he isn't there? _He would be there and she would talk to him.

After making sure Ishvanna and Karine were safely in their room and making her usual arrangements, Sonea shut herself in her bedchamber and lay on the bed. Her heart was beating loudly and part of her still didn't want to go, but she had made up her mind, it was now or never.

She closed her eyes and opened them in Akkarin's guest room. It was empty, there was no welcoming refreshments on the table and no sign that Akkarin had been there recently. She moved over to the door and looked into the garden, it, too, was empty, the fountain playing in solitary state. She forced herself to walk outside and refused to listen to her mind's chant of "He's not here! He's not here!"

She found the little path and followed it through the shrubbery until she came to the clearing by the small lake. She stopped because she could see a seated figure on some rocks, out by the edge of the lake. He was gazing out across the water and gave no indication he knew she was there. She began to walk steadily towards him, her heart thumping in her chest. Surely he would turn to look at her? But he remained motionless. She walked up behind him, but still he made no movement. She put her hand on his shoulder and said softly, "Akkarin?"

He slowly turned his head and looked up at her, his face expressionless, "Sonea." he said.

There was silence for a few seconds, then Sonea sat down on the grass beside him and looked out over the water. "How are you, Akkarin?" she asked. "I've missed you."

When he didn't reply, she turned to look at his profile. There was still no expression on his face as he continued to look into the distance. She half lifted her hand to lay it on his cheek, but her nerve failed her. She saw his hand and curled her fingers around it instead, "Say something," she said, a trace of anger in her voice, "We have to talk about things."

"Yes," he said at last, "You're right, we do have to talk. Come inside, we'll find a comfortable seat, have a drink, and say what we have to say." He rose to his feet in one smooth movement and held out his hand to help her rise. As their fingers touched, she experienced the old familiar fluttering sensation in her chest. She resisted the temptation to fling her arms around him, and turned to lead the way back to the building.

She didn't know which place to choose to sit. What she wanted was to curl up with him on the banquette, to feel the comfort of his arms around her, but that didn't seem a possibility at the moment. Akkarin moved past her and got some wine out of a cupboard, along with two enormous glasses and some biscuits. He placed them on a side table and silently indicated the fireside chairs. When she was seated, he brought her a glass of wine and offered the biscuits. She took one, but wasn't hungry so left it on the table. She nervously drank a third of the wine, before setting the glass down next to the biscuit.

"I'm sorry," she began, "What I said was thoughtless and you were right to be annoyed with me, but why this long silence? You must have heard me calling you. You must have heard my thoughts and knew how much I longed to hear your voice."

He smiled briefly, "Yes, your thoughts were, as ever, very loud." He sipped his wine, "I needed time to think about what to do next," he paused for a moment. "The problem seems to be that despite anything I say to the contrary, you have decided that somehow I am trapped here and must be freed at all costs. I don't know how to convince you and I couldn't bear to have another conversation like we had the last time."

"I couldn't bear it either," she whispered. "I've hardly slept since then."

Akkarin finished his wine and poured another glass. "All my life, I have been fighting," he said, "First of all, I fought my family. Life with my mother was not comfortable, as you might imagine. Later, I fought to become the best Warrior and magician that I could. Then I fought to escape slavery. I fought to control the Guild. Finally I fought the black magicians to prevent its destruction. Now, for the first time in my life, I have time for study, time for friendship and love, time to sit and stare at a lake or watch fish or read a favourite book. I have experienced the world and all it offers, it holds no great attraction for me. What would I do there that I couldn't do here? I would be in someone else's body, a stranger. You thought of Lorlen, thinking because he was my friend, it would be easier – but he is blind, disfigured and crippled. What would my life be like that? And you, would you be happy to make love to a stranger's body?"

Sonea said quietly, "I only want you to be free. You have no choice now; you **are** trapped here. All I want is the best for you."

He looked at her intently, "This, here, **is** the best for me. You have to accept it and give up your insane idea of slotting me into someone else's body. You don't know how to do it, and neither do I, so you might end up killing the poor host. You may also end up killing me, had you thought of that? What would you do if you had successfully moved me out of here, but couldn't get me into the body or back here? I have given this a lot of thought over the past week. This is a special place; I explained it to you. It is not in your mind, nor in mine, but somewhere else altogether, yet we both arrive here through our own minds. We magicians use places like this all the time, but we really don't know how they work, only that they do. Your mind instinctively brought that tiny spark you captured here, it worked and I survived. Neither of us knows why. For all we know, it may be that I can onlyexist here and nowhere else. The risk is that if you try to take me away from here, I might cease to exist completely."

Sonea drank some more wine. What Akkarin had just said shocked her. She had never even considered that away from here, he might cease to exist. Leaving that aside, when she thought about it, she could see why Akkarin might feel content just the way he was. But there were still things she worried about and the future was one of them.

She looked at him and said, "I do understand, now. I hadn't considered the risks to your survival. I can see things from your point of view. But what about in thirty year's time? How will you feel, when I come to see you, with wrinkles and grey hair and you are still like you are now, young and handsome?"

Akkarin laughed, "My poor girl, don't you know why lovers want to have mind-places like this? It's not just for people who are separated! Magicians live much longer than people without magic, so lovers can expect to be together for many, many years. You can be as young as you want here! These places are very popular with older magicians, you know."

The relief hit Sonea so hard, she burst into tears. A mix of emotions overwhelmed her; relief, embarrassment, anger, sorrow, but most of all, love. She stumbled to her feet and blindly held out her hands, "Akkarin….." She felt herself gathered up into his arms, her head on his chest, his cheek resting against her head.

"I think I know a better place to continue this conversation," he whispered.

He picked her up and carried her swiftly into the bedchamber. It was a matter of moments to get out of their clothes and slide into the bed. Both of them were eager for each other, so no time was wasted as they followed where their desires led. As their lovemaking reached its crescendo, all sensations were magnified by the blending of their power, which gave the illusion of bursts of fire and bolts of energy all around them. Sonea cried out as her pleasure reached its peak and she experienced Akkarin's feelings of joy and desire as they flooded into her mind with his climax.

They lay for a time without speaking, arms and legs wrapped around each other, content to listen to their heartbeats, as their pulses slowed and their breathing returned to normal.

"I missed you so much," she said, "I couldn't bear it, not hearing your voice, not seeing you."

"I missed you too," he said, amusement in his voice, "But I didn't have the problem of not hearing you!"

He got up and fetched the wine. They made themselves comfortable against the pillows and sipped their drinks, her head resting on his shoulder.

"You know I told Rothen?" she said.

"Yes, I heard all of it. If you had asked first, I would have said "no", but now I think it's helpful for you to have someone who knows, someone you trust and someone you can discuss things with. I am glad you didn't tell him what we quarrelled about though."

"I couldn't expect him to understand about the body-thing." She smiled, "I didn't think he would believe me about all this," she gestured around the room. "I thought it would take longer to convince him, but he trusts me, I think, so I suppose that made it easier for him to understand."

Akkarin grew serious; "I want you to promise me you will stop thinking about trying to find a body for me. I really mean it, you must promise, by the Eye, if necessary."

She looked directly into his eyes, "I promise by the Eye. You know I'm really, truly sorry, don't you."

Akkarin took the wine glass from her hand and put it with his on the floor. "I'm a bit out of practice, would you like to try that again?"

She smiled and kissed him hungrily, "I thought you'd never ask!"


	42. Lorlen

**Disclaimer: I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan**

Lorlen

Vinara looked at the sleeping figure carefully as he lay in the bed, thumb in his mouth. He was still now the sleeping potion had taken effect, but it had been a terrible time until it had. Just getting him from the city to his new accommodation in the Guild had been a nightmare. It had taken four of her most experienced Healers just to hold him long enough for her to pour the medicine down his throat. He had fought them all the way, crying out and beating at the hands which gently tried to control him. Since then, it had been necessary to sedate him on several occasions, each time a minor battle was needed simply to get him to swallow the potion. _Lorlen; I still can't believe it,_ she thought. _How had he come to this?_

When Sonea had reappeared in her office a few days after she had spoken to Rothen, Vinara had been pleased. Sonea was polite and apologetic about her reactions previously.

"You're quite right, Vinara," she had said. "The Guild is the best place for this man. I'm sorry I didn't realise it at once. My only worry is how to get him here, given that he goes into a fit if he sees a magician or recognises the Guild buildings."

She had told Vinara everything, where the man was being kept, who was looking after him and, of course, his name. The Healer was shocked to her core to learn it was Lorlen. Like the rest of the magicians, she had thought Lorlen lost in the fighting. To learn he was alive, but badly injured, with his mind affected, had been a blow.

Dressed in ordinary clothes, she had gone with Sonea to where Lorlen was living with Akkarin's former servant, Takan. The sight of the disfigured, shambling figure had almost unnerved her. She remembered the athletic young Healer who had become such a worthy Administrator and looked in vain for traces of that person in the man she saw before her. He was dull-eyed and lifeless, unwilling to look at his visitors or respond when spoken to. He was blind in one eye and seemed unable to move freely, one leg having badly damaged muscles and tendons.

"Can you do anything about his physical injuries?" Sonea had asked.

"At the moment, I don't know. I have to get him to the Guild. Then we will have all the time in the world to try to Heal him."

After her visit, Vinara had gone to the High Lord and obtained reluctant permission to take over a small, disused, old cottage near to the Servants' Quarters, where Lorlen could be kept, well out of the sight of the rest of the Guild buildings. Balkan also agreed that all the people treating him need not wear robes, for the moment.

Getting him to take the sleeping potion had been more difficult than anyone ever imagined, but in order to get him into the Guild grounds safely, he had to be heavily sedated. Takan had come with him to live in the cottage and take care of his day-to-day needs. Luckily, he was an excellent cook and could provide just the right sort of meals to tempt a poor appetite. Vinara also had a team of experienced Healers to work with her and she hoped that progress could quickly be made on treating his physical injuries.

_I don't know why he didn't try to Heal himself,_ she thought. _He is a Healer, after all, but it's almost as if he's forgotten he's a magician._

She had tried to deal with the most obvious injuries and it seemed, to her expert eye, that the scars on his face had faded a little, but she couldn't take them away. Neither could she do anything about his eye, _It's been far too long_, she thought_. He will have to learn to cope with the partial loss of sight. _She had examined his leg and found it had been badly broken and had healed crookedly. Some of the muscles were torn as well, adding to Lorlen's problems. Vinara doubted that she could make the leg whole again but she hoped to lessen the awkwardness of his gait.

"But they're not the real issue," she said out loud. "The real problem is what's happened to his mind and his magic." At the moment, she had no idea how she could even begin to deal with those. She had been unable to read his mind, even when he was unconscious, so she could not assess the situation.

"It seems I need a Black Magician," she said, regretfully. Everyone knew that no one could prevent their minds being read by Black Magicians. This meant, of course, that she must rely on Sonea for help, something she was reluctant to do, but she had no choice.

The man on the bed suddenly opened his eyes and looked at Vinara. He opened his mouth and a loud wailing cry emerged as he scrabbled up the bed and away from his visitor. The door opened almost at once and Takan came over to the bed, ignoring Vinara. He began to speak in a singsong voice and the sound seemed to calm Lorlen, who stopped mid-wail and stared at Takan.

"I wonder if you might leave, Lady Vinara," Taken spoke over his shoulder. "Lorlen needs to be calm and I know what needs to be done. We don't want him to try to run out of here. There's no telling what he might do if he sees where he really is."

Although Vinara bristled inwardly at being told what to do by a servant, and a foreign servant at that, she could see that whatever it was that Takan was saying in those strange, foreign rhythms, it was calming Lorlen.

"Thank you Takan," she said, "I've left some of the sleeping potion in the other room. Give him another dose if he needs it." And she left the room, leaving Takan to deal with his charge.

A few days later, Sonea came to the cottage, as arranged with Vinara. She had been asked to read Lorlen's mind again, to see there had been any changes since the last time. She settled Lorlen in a chair and stood behind him, her hands on his temples. As Vinara watched, Sonea closed her eyes and her face went blank. There was silence for a few moments, then she began to speak quietly.

"The first room is the same, all broken….so is the next room…..I am in the corridor, it is still dark…the door is locked."

Vinara noticed a thin film of sweat on Sonea's brow as she continued to describe what she was finding in Lorlen's mind.

"I am opening the door…..the child is inside…I am in the room, but he hasn't noticed me. He's seen me…screaming and screaming….."

There was silence and the sweat was now beaded on Sonea's face and beginning to slowly drip. She was frowning in concentration.

"He's quieter now…I have tried to talk to him…he won't listen….I have to leave him….."

Sonea opened her eyes and swayed slightly. Vinara passed her a cloth to wipe her face as she led the Black Magician to a chair and pressed a glass of water into her hand.

"Now tell me, what happened when he stopped screaming?"

Sonea drank some water, then said, "I created the illusion of a toy, somehow, and when he saw it, he stopped screaming and reached for it. It distracted him for a moment and during that time he was almost quiet. But it didn't last, he lost interest and started screaming again."

Vinara thought for a moment, "I do believe by creating the toy, you have given me a clue about what we need to do. Somehow, we have to get the child to come out of the room and being such a child, toys are useful tools. I need to consult with colleagues and read some more books. Perhaps your black magic studies might tell us more about dealing with minds like Lorlen. Do you think you could get your students to research that aspect? You are willing to work with me on this, aren't you Sonea?"

Sonea smiled, "Of course, I am very fond of Lorlen and want the best for him."

"Good! You will let me know if you find anything in the black magic books and if you could come again at the same time next week, perhaps we can make some progress."

After Sonea had gone, Vinara looked at Lorlen, who was still in the chair, staring into space, his face expressionless, and his hands lying loosely in his lap.

_Keep strong, Lorlen,_ she thought. _We'll find a way to help you soon._


	43. Sisterly Conversations

**Disclaimer: I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan**

Sisterly Conversations

Alkaria was sitting on the floor of Sonea's sitting room, playing with her niece. She was rather scandalously wearing male clothes, tight fitting trousers, high boots, white silk shirt and a jacket of fine leather, heavily embroidered in gold thread. The outfit suited her slim figure and short hair. It also enhanced her resemblance to Akkarin. She had discarded the black leather boots, so that she could more easily crawl around the floor playing with Karine and the large, fluffy toy she had brought her.

"I do enjoy this!" she said happily. "It's so much more fun than sitting at one of those ghastly tea parties Mother insists on going to every week."

Sonea, who was sitting at the table, pouring over a very old and very dusty book, mumbled something which Alkaria couldn't catch. She had already told her visitor that she was really busy and in no mood for entertaining.

Alkaria paused in her game, to look at her sister more closely. _If only she wasn't always dressed in that terrible black thing,_ she thought. _She would really look good in crimson, or vivid green. _Since Karine had been born, Alkaria had visited Sonea's apartment regularly. As a close member of the family, she no longer needed to wait for permission and made full use of the privilege. Sometimes Sonea was present, other times it was just Alkaria, the baby and Ishvanna. Rather surprisingly for a particularly social young lady, Alkaria had found it very relaxing to spend time with the baby and, of course with Sonea.

She looked intently at Sonea. She had always found her attractive, with her curly dark hair, large, expressive eyes and pale skin, but since Karine's birth, she was positively blooming. She looked in the best of health and her skin had a glow about it, which puzzled Alkaria slightly. _If I didn't know better,_ she mused, _I would think she had a lover. The only people I know who have that sort of glow, usually have a lover or two hidden away somewhere!_

Sonea looked up from her book and caught Alkaria's gaze. A faint colour showed under her skin and she said, with a laugh, "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Well, if you really want to know, I was wondering if you had a lover!" Alkaria stared, fascinated, as the hot colour flooded Sonea's cheeks. _By the Eye, it must be true!_ she thought, completely astonished. "Have you?" she demanded.

"Of course not!" Sonea snapped, "Where would I get one here? And, more to the point, how would I find the time!"

Alkaria half-closed her eyes, "Well, I don't know if you've noticed, dear sister, but the place is stuffed full of young, virile magicians of both sexes! There's no shortage of potential lovers here."

"The Guild doesn't like intimate relationships," Sonea said automatically, then paused, "Although, I have to admit, most of the time, magicians marry other magicians. I think it would be almost impossible for a magician to have a marriage partner who had no magic. There are special things magicians share…." Her voice trailed away and again, colour flooded her cheeks.

Alkaria looked very interested, "What sort of things?"

Sonea looked as if she could have kicked herself. "I can't really tell you. Magicians have their secrets, you know, and they are not for the gentle ears of young, noble ladies."

"Oh pooh!" said Alkaria scornfully, "My gentle ears have heard all sorts of things. We are not brought up in fluffy cocoons, you know. I could tell you things about Vettin, which would make your eyes stand out and your ears fall off! Now, what things do magicians share?"

But Sonea refused to be drawn and Alkaria was forced to give up that line of questioning, but her mind was still completely exercised by the thought that Sonea had a lover. She still felt the stirrings of desire when she was with Sonea, but had learned now to ignore it. Sonea had made it perfectly clear that she was not a woman's woman and her own desires lay in another direction. Alkaria had decided that she would rather have Sonea as a dear sister and friend than someone who was repulsed by unwanted advances.

Sonea had put the book away with a sigh and had fetched a jug of fruit juice and some cakes from the kitchen. She sat down on the floor next to Alkaria and took Karine on her lap. The baby had grown over the past few months and her likeness to the Delvon family was such that no one would ever be able to say she was not Akkarin's child.

Alkaria stared, fascinated, as Sonea began to feed her daughter. She was glad her mother hadn't heard that the heir did not have the customary wet-nurse. She could imagine Lady Alechia storming the Guild to demand her lowborn daughter did the right thing by the noble child.

"Why did you say that? About having a lover, I mean?" Sonea asked idly.

Alkaria glanced at her and smiled, "You have a look about you. It's difficult to describe, but you look happy and contented and there is a glow about you, which just screams 'Lover!' to those who take an interest in you. I've been watching that glow just get brighter and brighter over the months since Karine was born."

Sonea was silent, concentrating on Karine, but the telltale colour crept over her cheeks again.

"I've only ever had, and only ever wanted, one lover, Alkaria. There's no one else in my life, not now, not ever." She looked directly at her visitor, "My heart will only ever belong to one man and if I have a glow about me, it is because I think of him every day. As you can imagine, I have many, many memories and I visit them frequently."

"Hmmmm," Alkaria was not convinced, but willing to allow Sonea the benefit of the doubt. "I am sure you completely believe that Akkarin is the only man for you, but he is gone. Do you think he would want you to spend the rest of your life alone?"

"I am sure he wouldn't," Sonea replied, "But that doesn't alter the fact that I intend to. I told the King, the High Lord and your family that I considered myself bound to Akkarin and I have no reason at all to change my mind. Do not think that the sight of a, what did you call them - young, virile magicians, that's it, - that the sight of a young, virile magician would make me forget all that and jump into bed with him."

Karine finished her feed and Sonea adjusted her clothing and put the baby down on the rug, next to Alkaria. Her daughter rarely cried, but appeared a happy little thing, always smiling and gurgling at whoever held her. She spent a lot of time watching her mother, her big, dark eyes fixed unblinkingly on Sonea's face, almost as if she were trying to communicate.

Alkaria sipped her fruit juice and continued to regard Sonea. "Well, whatever is causing you to look so contented and so damned attractive, I think you'd make a fortune if you could sell it!"

Their conversation turned to other things and during a lull, Alkaria took an opportunity to look around the room at the changes she had encouraged Sonea to make. A lot of Akkarin's things now occupied various places on the walls and on the furniture. Some of the material had been used to cover cushions and made new curtains. _I've really made a difference,_ she thought contentedly, _There's no point in letting all that stuff in the boxes go to waste._

One thing which had rather annoyed Alkaria was the fact that Sonea had never let her see into her bedchamber. She had tried for weeks to find an opportunity to slip into the room when Sonea was otherwise occupied, but she hadn't been able to. Even when Sonea was not there, either Khara or Ishvanna were with her and Alkaria didn't want the servants to tell Sonea she had gone into the bedchamber.

However, an opportunity had just arisen. One of Sonea's students had come to her rooms to ask about a specific problem and Sonea had gone off with her. Alkaria was alone, with just Karine, _And you won't tell, will you my pretty?_ she thought.

Picking up Karine, Alkaria opened the door into Sonea's bedchamber and stepped inside. It was a large room, with windows stretching along most of one wall. There was a large bed, with beautiful blue and silver bed hangings, and a blue velvet bedcover. Sonea had chosen her favourite objects from Akkarin's things and there were pretty jewelled boxes, delicate porcelain figures and small paintings of seascapes dotted around the room.

The room was dominated by the large portrait of the High Lord, which was on the wall opposite the foot of the bed and Alkaria sat down on the end of the bed to look at it. She couldn't remember it on the walls at home, so it must have been in store. It was an excellent likeness, almost completely lifelike, and she could understand why Sonea had chosen to put it in here, where she could look at it unobserved.

_I am not sure that is entirely healthy, though_, she thought. _How will she ever get over him, if this reminder is the first thing she sees in a morning?_

Karine had been lying quietly in her arms, but now she turned her head, until she, too, was looking at the portrait. Alkaria looked down at her in surprise. She had no idea that babies took much interest in relatively distant objects, but the child was definitely looking at the portrait.

_Akkarin._

Alkaria was startled as she heard her brother's name. She looked around, afraid that Sonea or one of the servants had returned, but she was alone with just Karine.

_Akkarin._

There was no doubt, as she heard it for a second time. Someone had said the name, not loudly, but so that she could hear it quite clearly. Then she heard it for a third time, but this time, another word was added.

_Akkarin. Father._

Alkaria nearly dropped her niece in surprise. _She can't talk, how did I hear that? _She looked at Karine, who had turned her head again and was staring at her aunt. The baby smiled and put out her hand and touched Alkaria's cheek.

'_karia._

She was still sitting on the bed, staring down at her niece in disbelief when Sonea came back and found her where she should not have been.


	44. Complications

**Disclaimer: I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan**

**Complications**

Sonea felt a black rage overwhelm her as she saw Alkaria holding Karine and sitting on her bed. Her bedchamber was her sanctuary, a place where not even the servants were allowed and now that annoying, interfering child had violated it. Alkaria's face was white and she was trying to say something, but Sonea didn't want to hear any excuses or explanations.

"Get out of here!" she yelled, "You have the run of all the other rooms, why did you have to come in here! I've told you before, NO ONE IS ALLOWED IN HERE!" Sonea's voice rose to a shout, and as it did so, Karine began to cry loudly.

The sound of her cries calmed Sonea like nothing else would have done. She rushed over to Alkaria and grabbed the child, holding her tightly against her and making shushing noises. Alkaria quickly took the opportunity to get out of the room without saying another word.

Sonea sat down in her rocking chair and rocked gently, trying to calm Karine. As her daughter stopped crying, Sonea was surprised to find tears on her own cheeks. She supposed they were tears of rage, and quickly brushed them away. Karine stared up at her mother, her eyes huge in her little face. Sonea's rage subsided as quickly as it had come and she was ashamed to remember how loudly she had yelled at Alkaria.

_So you should be!_ sent Akkarin. _The poor girl didn't know what had hit her! She only entered a room she wasn't supposed to go into, she didn't hurt anyone or steal anything or drop Karine!_

_She's probably gone, _Sonea sent, _I ought to find her and apologise._

But when Sonea went out to the sitting room, she found Alkaria sitting at the table, white-faced and sniffing as she dabbed her eyes with a lace handkerchief. "I'm sorry I shouted at you, but you know I don't let anyone go into my bedchamber. Look, don't cry, I'll go and made some tea. Will you look after Karine?" Sonea lent over and patted Alkaria awkwardly on the shoulder and popped her daughter down on the floor.

Alkaria looked up, "I'd rather have some wine. That was a nasty shock, Sonea! I have something important to tell you and I want to be calm when I try to explain what it is."

Sonea fetched some wine and glasses from a cupboard then went out to the kitchen to see if there were any refreshments left from Khara's last baking session. She returned after a few minutes with some savoury tartlets and a pile of biscuits. She poured the wine and offered Alkaria some food.

They sipped and nibbled for a few minutes in silence, then Sonea said, "What is it you wanted to tell me?"

"I really don't quite know how to put this, but it's about Karine. She's been talking to me."

Sonea looked puzzled, "She isn't a year old yet, how can she be talking to you? I've never heard her say anything."

"I knew you wouldn't believe me. I hardly believe it myself." Alkaria sighed, "It wasn't exactly talking, I could just hear a voice saying some words. It seemed to be a voice in my head, but I could hear it quite clearly."

"So what did this voice say?" asked Sonea.

Alkaria explained how she came to be holding the baby and sitting on the end of the bed, looking at the portrait of Akkarin. She described how Karine looked at the portrait and that it was then she heard the voice.

"Well," said Sonea impatiently, "What did it say?"

"It said 'Akkarin' – just like that. Then it said it again, 'Akkarin'. I looked around to see if you were back or the servants, but there was only the two of us. Then, I realised it was Karine, because the third time, the voice said, 'Akkarin. Father.' just like that."

Sonea frowned, "Are you sure you weren't just imagining it?"

"I almost thought so at first. Karine was staring at the picture when I heard the words. But then she did something odd, she turned her head to look at me. You know how she stares at you? She touched my cheek with her hand and then said ' 'karia', just like that. What's really strange about this is no one ever calls me 'karia, but when I've been talking to Karine, that's the word I use for me – 'karia and Karine, see?"

Sonea paused before saying, "She touched you and you heard a voice say 'karia?" As Alkaria nodded, Sonea went on, "That's really strange. Do you have any magic?"

"Not really. When I was tested, they told my father than I had some magic, but I wasn't very strong and it was up to the family to decide whether or not I should go to the Guild. Father didn't want me to go, so I didn't. I've never been able to do anything magical, not that I've really tried."

_Akkarin? Do you think it's possible that Karine already has a mental voice?_

I've never heard of a young child being able to communicate in that way, but it could be possible. We must talk – come to see me today.

Sonea smiled at her sister, "That must have been very unsettling, to hear voices like that. I will need to think about this. Would you do me a favour and not mention this to anyone? Anyone at all!"

Alkaria nodded, "I won't say anything, really I won't. But wouldn't it be wonderful if Karine can talk to us like that?"

Sonea didn't look as if she thought it was wonderful, "It is really important that no one finds out about this. If the High Lord gets to hear of it, he will take Karine away to be tested and I don't want anyone here to think Karine is special."

Alkaria left not long afterwards and Sonea settled down to wait until Ishvanna returned, so she could go to Akkarin. In the meantime, she went back to studying the book she had been looking through.

Akkarin was waiting for her in the sitting room, looking quite excited. He drew her into an embrace and they exchanged a number of extremely pleasurable kisses before sitting down together on the banquette. He put his arm around her and pressed a glass of wine into her hand.

"So, if Karine can already use her mental voice, she must be a very strong magician," he said and Sonea could hear the pride in his voice. "I have never come across any mention of such a thing in all the research I've done over the years."

"I've never heard her," Sonea said. "You'd think a mother would hear something like that, not an aunt with only a little magic."

Akkarin laughed, "You sound affronted that you haven't heard her!"

Sonea made a face, "I have noticed that she stares at me a lot. She has always done that right from the time she was very young. She looks at your portrait too, when I talk to her about you."

"What really worries me, though, is that if she starts showing these unusual powers so young, and somehow Balkan hears of it, he will take her away from me. Vinara examines her every few weeks and I know she monitors her power, how can I stop her finding out?" Sonea couldn't keep the worry out of her voice.

"The techniques I taught you to help conceal the increases in your power have stopped her being suspicious of where your power comes from. We will have to consider whether Karine needs similar protection," Akkarin said.

Sonea looked at him in astonishment, "Akkarin, your daughter will not be a year old for another couple of months. How do you expect her to learn advanced magic?"

He smiled reassuringly, "I know how old she is! You will have to enter her mind and talk to her." He saw that Sonea didn't understand. "Look, if Karine can use her mental voice, that means her power is strong and she is able to use it, despite the fact that she cannot talk in the conventional way. In other words, her mind is much more advanced than her physical body. So, if you enter her mind, you can talk with her, mind-to-mind. You can help her understand what she needs to do."

Sonea was silent. _Yes, what Akkarin said made sense, sort of_, she thought, Mind_-to-mind conversations didn't really use words._ She could see how simple it might appear, but at the end of the day, they were talking about invading the mind of a ten-month-old baby

_No, not just a baby, but a ten-month-old strong magician,_ Akkarin sent. _Don't be afraid_.

"Is there really no other way?" Sonea asked reluctantly.

"I can't think of one. You have to try to talk to her before Vinara examines her again. She will be looking out for anomalies, given that Karine is the daughter of two Black Magicians and the Guild is worried about that."

Having decided what to do about Alkaria's discovery, the rest of the visit passed pleasurably in passionate and tender lovemaking, both of them regretting that their circumstances meant they could not curl up together to sleep until morning.

Back in her rooms, Sonea went to fetch Karine. She sat down in the rocking chair and looked into her daughter's eyes. Karine stared back, eyes shining. Sonea brushed her fingers over Karine's cheek, "Don't worry, little one. I am going to come and talk to you. Don't be afraid." She placed her fingers each side Karine's head and closed her eyes.

She slipped into her daughter's mind and found herself in a bright, sunny space, with grass and flowers. Dotted on the grass were some of Karine's toys and sitting in the middle of them was a young girl who appeared to be about seven years old. She looked up and smiled.

"Sonea," she said, "Mother," and held out her hand. Sonea came and sat down beside her, scarcely believing it. "I hoped you would come," the child said. "You couldn't hear me when I called, but 'karia did."

" 'karia doesn't know how to come here," Sonea said. "Her magic is very weak, but yours is very strong. Do you know about magic?"

Karine laughed, "Of course, I have been learning magic since before I was born. I can hear you talking about it. I can hear everything."

"Everything?" Sonea said, "Can you hear other people?"

The child looked at her and smiled knowingly, "I can hear Akkarin and you when you talk."

Sonea caught her breath, "You understand about Akkarin? About where he is?"

Karine frowned, "Not completely. Before I was born, I could hear him quite clearly, but afterwards, he was much fainter. Can he come and talk to me too?"

"I don't know, Karine," Sonea sighed, "It is very complicated." _And has just become a lot more complicated,_ she thought. "You are a very unusual little girl, Karine, and I would like it to be a secret that only you, and Akkarin and I know."

"And 'karia." Karine said at once. " 'karia is my friend and I love her."

"And 'karia, of course," Sonea added quickly. "Keeping things secret means that you must not talk to anyone else or do anything which might make them suspect you already use magic. Do you understand?"

The child nodded. "You will be able to come and see me again, won't you, Mother?"

"It would be better, if we could just talk, like you talked with 'karia," she said. "I am sure I could hear you, if we practised. I have to go now, remember what I said about secrets." Sonea kissed the little girl and allowed her presence to fade slowly.

She opened her eyes and found Karine still staring at her. _Karine?_ she sent, but there was no answer.

_Akkarin? I spoke to her; did you hear us?_

_Yes, She can hear me! _ Sonea could sense the delight in Akkarin's mental voice, _My daughter can hear me!_


	45. A Sunny Afternoon

**Disclaimer: I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan**

A Sunny Afternoon

It was relaxing, out here by the lake. Sonea leaned back against a grassy bank and brushed her bare toes over the warm grass. She was only wearing a lightweight silk shirt and loose trousers and was pleased to be out of her voluminous robes for an afternoon. It was sunny and she could hear distant birdsong and smell delicate, floral scents on the faint breeze. _I shall never understand what exactly this place is,_ she thought. _How there can be an "inside" and an "outside", why I can eat and drink here, but take nothing back except what I am wearing. And, there's nothing in the books about it either! _As on many occasions before, she gave up trying to understand and settled for simply enjoying it.

She heard Akkarin coming across the grass and turned to look at him. He was dressed in the style of clothes she loved to see him wearing, tight-fitting trousers in dark blue, and a white silk shirt with flowing sleeves, which rippled as he moved. His hair was unbound and that, too, rippled gently, a dark silky cloud around his face, as he came towards her, carrying the bottle of wine and two glasses.

She smiled up at him as he dropped down beside her and expertly uncorked the wine and poured the drinks. They toasted each other and sipped the wine. She rested against him as he put his arm around her and laid his cheek against her hair as they both looked out over the water.

"Congratulations, Sonea," Akkarin said after a few moments, "On successfully completing the training of your students. The Guild will be both happy that they don't have to rely just on you any more and anxious because there are now seven fully qualified black magicians! Quite a dilemma for them, I think."

Sonea laughed, "Yes, I thought Balkan was going to change his mind half-way through the graduation ceremony, he had such a strange expression on his face! The High Lord has decided I should not train any more black magicians for the moment, so my duties are considerably lighter these days. I seem to spend quite a bit of my time explaining to very old magicians how I can help their families have a body to bury when it is time for them to die! The cemetery is becoming a very popular place again and the most sought after spots are around your grave. Besides that, I still have lots of books and other material to examine though, so we have plenty of work to do, Akkarin."

"I want you to continue your Warrior training," he said. "There are some things I can teach you here, but you will need a lot of practice in using your power fully and the Arena's the only place for that. I'm not sure what would happen if you tried forcestrikes here. You need some formal training from the best Warriors in the Guild and you should start soon."

Sonea groaned, "I remember Warrior training! All that energy, all those bruises!"

Akkarin was serious, "It's a necessity. You have to keep practising your Warrior skills or you'll grow rusty. For all we know, the Ichani could be planning another assault and the black magicians have to be champion Warriors. They will be the first line of defence and with only seven of you, it's a very short line."

She sighed. "Let's not talk about fighting and battles, there are other, more important things to talk about. But first…"

She put down her glass and twisted to face him. She pushed her hands into his hair, wound the long locks around her fingers and pulled until his face met hers. She felt his mouth curve into a smile as she began to kiss him. It took her several minutes and numerous attempts before she was completely satisfied with the quality of her kisses and his response to them. Then she leaned backwards, pulling him with her, until she was lying on the grass, with Akkarin on top of her. She slid her hands round him, under the soft folds of his shirt, her fingers drifting across the warm flesh, feeling his hands trace a similar journey along her own skin. She could sense the moment the spark burst into flame and then they were both lost to the demands of their bodies and the dictates of passion.

Afterwards, lying in his arms, Sonea heard him laugh softly. "You are an eager and entertaining lover, my Sonea. You learn quickly."

"Perhaps you are a good teacher," she murmured. "But who taught you?"

"It is a duty of all the men folk of the Houses to learn the art of lovemaking and become as skilful as possible," he replied primly. "The usual thing is to arrange for an experienced, older friend of the family to initiate the sons in the art. Both Vettin and I were initiated by the same woman."

Sonea's mouth dropped open in disbelief. She had imagined he would tell her of some romantic attachment, which had provided opportunities to develop his skills, but his matter-of-fact description of it as an initiation, she found quite shocking. It sounded so calculated, a bit like learning to play an instrument.

Akkarin noticed her reaction and laughed loudly, "Poor Sonea, have all your romantic illusions crumbled? There were a number of lessons over several weeks, all very pleasant as I recall. Of course, Vettin, being older, was taught first and I had to endure a lot of mockery until I was old enough."

"And how old was that?" Sonea wasn't quite sure if she really wanted to know but she couldn't stop herself from asking the question.

"Fourteen, the usual age. Before you ask, the woman was thirty-five, very attractive and a friend of my father's, one of his mistresses, in fact. She had been with him for a number of years so we both knew her."

"Does the same thing happen with the daughters? Does the lover of their mother, teach the daughters?"

Akkarin laughed, more loudly this time. "Certainly not! Daughters go virgin to their marriage bed. That's why the men folk have to be taught properly, so they can teach their wives."

"The more I hear about the Houses, the more I wonder who sits down and thinks up the stupid rules they all have to follow. It was so much simpler in the slums." Sonea grumbled.

She was silent for a while; although her brain told her it was foolish, her heart was jealous of Akkarin's past and the lovers he must have had. She wanted to know every detail. It was like pushing a needle into a particularly sore wound. Somehow, she had to know.

She mustn't have been able to cover her thoughts sufficiently, because Akkarin gently turned her face to his and said, "There is nothing much to know, a girl one summer when I was a novice, a woman I visited in the city sometimes when I was High Lord, and you. There has been no one else and since Sachaka there will never be anyone else but you."

Sonea whispered, "I'm sorry. I know I'm a fool. I can't seem to help myself."

"I'm flattered that you are so jealous, Sonea," Akkarin smiled. "But if you think about it, I have more reason to be jealous. Out there, in the world, you may meet all kinds of people and among them may be a man who will sweep you off your feet and you will forget all about me."

"How can you say that! You know I'll never…." She looked at him and realised he was still smiling at her. She grinned back, "Oh I see, a joke!"

They poured more wine settled back together against the grassy bank, to enjoy the peace and tranquillity of the lake. _I love this quiet time we have together_, Sonea thought, _Almost, but not quite, as much as making love. It goes so quickly, our time together here…._

"Oh, I almost forgot," she said suddenly, "I've had a formal communication from Lord Lukon. It's some sort of invitation to a ceremony, I think. Something called The Presentation. He says I have to come and bring Karine. Do you know what it is?"

"It's another one of those silly rules," he replied. "When Karine is a year old, she has to be presented as the heir. There is a ceremony to which all the relatives and friends of the family are invited and she will be formally Named as heir and shown off. You'll have to go, you know!"

Sonea groaned, "I never want to set foot in that house again. I thought that having Alkaria as a regular visitor would be enough to satisfy your family the child was well and everything proper was being done for her. Why have they waited for a whole year after she was born?"

"Another rule, I'm afraid. Hundreds of years ago, when these rules were being formed, children often died before they had their first birthday, so now the ceremony waits until the new heir is at least one year old, then they are formally presented. Did you look for that book on etiquette I told you about?" Akkarin stifled a laugh. "You are a member of a proud and noble House, you should take the trouble to learn the rules!"

She looked around for something to throw, but there was nothing, so she contented herself by poking him in the ribs. "You shouldn't make fun of the Mother of the Heir!"

Akkarin retaliated by tickling her and the next thing they were rolling around on the grass mock fighting and laughing. Sonea quickly found herself pinned underneath Akkarin who was holding her wrists above her head. She stopped struggling and gazed steadily at him as his head came down and his mouth covered hers. He released her wrists and they wrapped their arms around each other as the kiss went on and on, only the necessity of breathing bringing it to an end.

"I love you very much," she said.

"And I love you with all my heart," he replied.

And after that, there was no more to be said.


	46. The Presentation of Lady Karine

**Disclaimer: I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan**

The Presentation of Lady Karine

The room was unpleasantly warm and the press of people around the refreshment tables as well as the raised dais where she was sitting didn't help. Sonea regretted for the thousandth time the fact that her robes were black and heavy. She also regretted that the rules for an occasion like this meant that Karine had to sit on her lap. She had already been sitting in the throne-like chair for over an hour and there was still a long time to go.

The day had started well enough. Alkaria had come to her rooms just after breakfast to ensure that she looked her best for the ceremony.

"But you can't wear that!" Alkaria had almost screamed when she saw the freshly pressed black robes hanging up. Having been, once again, told about the rules for magicians' public appearances, Alkaria calmed down and thought hard how to make the best of things. She persuaded Sonea to wear a lightweight black silk dress under her outer robes, discreetly embroidered in crimson thread around the hem and set with tiny pieces of jet to create a dark sparkle.

She then examined the jewels that Sonea had selected to wear. She was unaware that Akkarin had already helped Sonea make her choice, so she wasn't too pleased when Sonea refused to change the small, but pretty ruby and diamond pendant for a much larger necklace.

"You are the mother of the Heir. You will be the centre of attention and must show by your appearance that you are representing a powerful and wealthy House." Alkaria sounded exasperated.

"But I am a Black Magician and not a giddy noble woman showing off my possessions. I am not going to go to the ceremony wearing all the jewels I have just to make an impression on people I don't know and probably wouldn't like if I did!"

Eventually, Alkaria and Sonea had arrived at a number of compromises. Sonea looked at herself in the mirror. She tried to ignore the robes and looked instead at the differences to her normal appearance. The pendant sparkled prettily against the neck of her gown. She also wore a thin ruby and diamond bracelet on each wrist. Her hair had been tamed and teased into a formal style, which flattered the shape of her face and made her eyes look bigger than usual. She had prevented her over-enthusiastic sister from putting a number of jewels in her hair, but had allowed her to scatter some tiny white rosebuds instead.

Alkaria had chosen Karine's clothes and she looked very pretty in a simple pale green dress, a green velvet ribbon in her hair and tiny white shoes and socks.

Family Delvon, House Velan had sent their best carriage to fetch the Heir and her mother, so Sonea, Alkaria and Karine were conveyed in style to the family home, where a party atmosphere reigned. There were lots of servants dressed in House colours looking after the many guests. Sonea and Karine were shown into the guest room where Lord Lukon and Lady Alechia were waiting.

This was the first time that they had seen their granddaughter, but Sonea noticed that Alechia barely glanced at the child before turning away. She said nothing to Sonea and it was clear that she was there because she had to be and not through choice. Lukon, on the other hand, stared at Karine for a long time, but his face gave nothing away. She couldn't tell if he were pleased or disappointed.

The servants offered fruit juice to the family and Sonea spent more time than strictly necessary in looking after Karine, making sure she didn't spill hers. It was so much easier to fuss over the child than to try to make conversation with people who wanted nothing to do with her. Lukon eventually came over to them and gave the child another penetrating glance.

"I hope that Alkaria has explained what is going to happen and what you need to do." His voice was the cool, dispassionate one she remembered.

"Yes, thank you, my lord." She couldn't bring herself to address him as father, which was her right.

He looked down at Karine again and Sonea was surprised to see a smile cross his face.

"She is very like Alkaria was at her age," he said, slight warmth in his tone and Sonea remembered that Alkaria was his favourite.

He bent down and picked Karine up. She regarded him solemnly and touched his cheek, then smiled. Her grandfather smiled back, but when his gaze turned to Sonea, the smile had vanished.

"She is tall for her age," he said, "Just as Akkarin was. Let us hope her life will be a better example than his."

Sonea opened her mouth to make an angry reply, but she heard Akkarin's mental voice say calmly, _Do not let him upset you. He is still angry at Merin's decision. But you have won and he will never forgive you._

So instead, Sonea said, the coldness of her tone matching his, "It is my fervent hope that Karine will be exactly like her father, not only in looks but in the way she chooses to live her life and the choices she makes."

Lukon snorted, put Karine down and turned away, gesturing to Alkaria to show Sonea where to go and what to do next. She was conducted to a large hall, with a raised dais at the end upon which sat an enormous chair where she was expected to sit. Once Sonea was seated, Alkaria settled the robes in graceful folds and carefully placed Karine on her lap, making sure she was comfortable and her dress was smooth and attractively displayed.

"I shall be here next to you, so don't worry. All you have to do is sit there through the speeches and smile and say a few words to people who come up to you."

She had made it all sound so simple, yet after only an hour or so, Sonea was hot, tired, thirsty and wishing she were anywhere but here. She could sense Akkarin's amusement which didn't help her temper very much.

_You see, being a noble is not all fun_, he sent, laughing. _Yes, there are big houses, lovely things, expensive jewels and unlimited food, but think of all the boring duties nobles have and they can't get out of them!_

She couldn't remember half the people she had been introduced to and was reduced to smiling and saying a few vague phrases when anyone approached. She just wanted it all to be over. The one person the proceedings didn't seem to bother was Karine who smiled prettily when anyone came up and said "Hello" and "Thank you" and one or two other phrases she had learned.

When the speeches started, Sonea stopped listening after a few minutes. To her, it was extraordinary that she should be here, the acknowledged widow of High Lord Akkarin and the mother of his family's Heir. That she should have wealth and status as a member of one of the Houses was still a source of astonishment to her and she thought she would never get used to it.

Eighteen months ago, she had been an exhausted and bereaved woman who had lost her lover and with him, her hopes of a rewarding life. Her future looked bleak and her prospects slight. But so much had happened since those dark days and there was so much to be thankful for. It was magic, which had saved her. Magic had allowed Akkarin to live a life, however unconventional, and her to share it with him. Magic had given her a child with extraordinary powers and only the future would tell how she would use them. Magic had given her the strength to take on the King and family Delvon, House Velan over the guardianship of her daughter and win. Black Magic had provided her with a power, which was vital for the future of the Guild and enabled her to rise to a position of authority. And it was a Black Magician's ability to enter any mind at will which was helping Lorlen very slowly back to health. It was indeed, a new world.

The speeches had stopped and all faces were turned to the dais. Alkaria nudged her and whispered, "You have to stand and present Karine."

She stood, and carefully holding her daughter, she said in a loud voice, "I give you Lady Karine, the Heir of family Delvon, House Velan."

**I am going to finish this story here. Many thanks to all who have reviewed it, and those who have read it. I hope you have all enjoyed reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it.**

**I am minded to continue the tale of Akkarin, Sonea and Karine in another story.**

**I also want to write more about Akkarin – mainly 'cause he's gorgeous! **


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